Questions and answers about self-esteem

Self-esteem is one of the pillars that keep us standing. As necessary as it is difficult to maintain in this dizzying world, it is logical that the phrase “take care of your self-esteem” brings more questions than clarity.

Once we start to do it, to raise our self-esteem, multiple questions appear. Many of them deal with the application of theory to practice, since the abstract is ideal and does not always correspond to what is experienced.

Therefore, in this space you have some of the most fundamental questions about this concept. If you are here because you have decided that you are going to love yourself and value yourself as you deserve, this is the best starting point for you. Don’t miss anything.

What is self-esteem?

Surely you have ever heard of self-esteem, well, We can say that self-esteem is the assessment we make of ourselves about our thoughts, feelings, and the experiences we have throughout life. Self-esteem is not static and it is not something that we can say we were born with or without.

Can self-esteem vary over time?

Indeed, self-esteem varies throughout our lives, depending on our personal, work, sentimental situation, etc. We can say that when there is agreement between what we think, what we feel and what we do, and we are also satisfied with it, our level of self-esteem is higher.

How important is it?

It is very important to have a good level of self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a factor that in many cases triggers other problems such as insecurity, anxiety, depression, eating problems, alcoholism, obsessions, etc.

Is it bad to have a lot of self-esteem?

Having a good level of self-esteem is not being selfish. There are people who confuse self-esteem with selfishness and they are different things. Selfishness is thinking about ourselves first and ourselves second, often without taking into account what others think, feel or expect from us. A good level of self-esteem, on the contrary, is to think of ourselves as another being of humanity, with its virtues and its defects, not believing ourselves to be better or worse than anyone else, but simply unique and different.

People with self-esteem take risks, make mistakes and learn from them, taking other people’s opinions into account, of course, but always defending their rights, ideas and opinions, without offending others. They have confidence in themselves and if they don’t like something or it doesn’t go well, they try to correct it.

How do I know if I have low self-esteem?

A low level of self-esteem is detected when we see others better than us, we only see defects in ourselves (hopefully, some virtue, but detracting from it), we do not give our opinion for fear of rejectionwe seek approval from third parties, we avoid responsibilities, we are insecure, we do not believe we are capable of doing things well, we are afraid of failure, etc., in short, our image is distorted.

How do I know if I have healthy self-esteem?

You probably have healthy self-esteem if you:

You avoid dwelling on past negative experiences. You believe that you are the same as everyone else, neither better nor worse. You express your needs. You have confidence in yourself. You have a positive outlook on life. You know how to say no when you want. You accept your strengths and weaknesses. .

Having healthy self-esteem can help motivate you to achieve your goals, because you can navigate life knowing that you are capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to. Additionally, when you have healthy self-esteem, you can set appropriate boundaries in relationships and maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

How can I evaluate my level of self-esteem?

For example, you can make a list of your qualities and your defects. It is important that you strive to achieve a balance between the two lists. Nobody is perfect. We all have positive qualities that can improve. If when making your list, you only see flaws, think that something may be wrong with how you see yourself.

It is important that we keep in mind that we operate in different contexts in our lives (with friends, at work, with family, with acquaintances, with strangers, etc.) and it is possible that you do not behave in the same way in each context. . Analyze it carefully and look for those qualities. Remember that the same quality can be positive for you while for others it can be neutral or even negative. The important thing is how you see yourself. You can also take professional self-esteem tests, like this one from Rosenberg.

What factors influence self-esteem?

Greater education and higher income are related to higher self-esteem.Low socioeconomic status and low self-esteem are associated.Living alone (without a partner) is related to low self-esteem.Unemployment and disability contribute to lower self-esteem.A personality More maturity and emotional stability are linked to higher self-esteem.

Racism and discrimination have also been shown to have negative effects on self-esteem. Additionally, genetic factors that help shape a person’s personality may play a role, but life experiences are believed to be the most important factor.

And the million dollar question: how can I improve my self-esteem?

1 – Don’t compare yourself to other people because each person is different. Don’t take negative comments to heart from people who don’t know you, after all, they don’t know you and they don’t know who you are.
2 – Don’t confuse self-esteem with being arrogant or selfish. Having self-esteem puts you at a point where you accept and understand that each person is different. Another very different thing is to think that you are superior or inferior to others, that is not self-esteem and far from healthy.
3 – Identify your fears, your mistakes and face them. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to solve them and learn from them.
4 – Learn to say NO, to express your opinions and your desires without fear, always using clear language and without offending the other person you are talking to.

As a Hindu proverb says: “There is so much good in the worst and so much bad in the best that it is absurd to condemn anyone.”

And you, do you have a good level of self-esteem?

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