Quality Time: What is this Love Language and How to Demonstrate It

The biggest tip I can give you: Turn off your cell phone.

• What does it mean if your love language is quality time?
• Signs Your Love Language Is Quality Time
• Examples of quality time
• What if quality time is your love language, but you’re in a long-distance relationship?
• Relationship tips if your or your partner’s love language is quality time
• What should you give someone whose love language is quality time?
• What if you don’t have the same love language as your partner?

By now, you’ve probably heard the term “love languages” in reference to dating. Because when it comes to relationships, the phrase, which originated from the book The 5 Love Languages: How to Express a Commitment of Love to Your Spouse, written by Gary Chapman, PhDit is essential to build a healthy relationship with your partner, with friends, family and other important people.

In short, “love languages ​​are ways people communicate with the people they care for,” explains licensed clinical social worker Filomena Caeiro. “They can teach you to love your partner better and are an outline of how to show your love and affection to your partner in the way he likes to receive it.”

Think about it: some people like to text their partners several times a day, others like to cuddle and don’t give up sex very often, and some people don’t miss the opportunity to pamper their partner with gifts. That’s because, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, people tend to lean towards one of the five love languages ​​when showing affection: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch or gifts. These love languages ​​reveal how you show your love and how you want to receive it.

The first step, of course, is to learn what your and your partner’s love language is. (Here’s a free love language quiz you can take to find out.)

Oh! And if you are interested in seeing the meaning of the other Love Languages ​​and how to demonstrate them, just click on one of the options in the list below:

• physical touch
• Words of Affirmation
• receive gifts
• Acts of Service

The second step is to learn more about your specific love language. And if after the test you found that quality time is your or your partner’s forte, you’re in the right place.

From what quality time love language means to dating tips, ideas and expert advice, here’s everything you need to know about this love language.

SEE ALSO: Words of Affirmation: What is this Love Language and How to Demonstrate It

What does it mean if your love language is quality time?

As the name suggests, this love language means you want to spend “quality, fruitful time” with the people closest to you, explains Filomena. The key here isn’t just sitting next to your partner while the two of you fiddle with their cell phones, but it’s actually being actively engaging with each other.

“Quality time is giving your partner your full attention,” says Thiago Valentim, psychologist and marriage therapist. “In today’s world, we are connected to everything but our partners.”

More specific examples, ideas, and advice on this love language below, but in short, Dr. Thiago says that people with this love language highly value being in the same space—physically, emotionally, and mentally—with the people they love.

If you’re thinking this sounds a little tacky, all the pros agree: Quality time isn’t a bad love language – in fact, none of them are.

“None of the love languages ​​insinuates that you are needy”, explains Thiago. “We all want some way to feel special and loved. Quality time means you appreciate the simplicity of human interaction. You want to feel seen and understood.”

SEE ALSO: PHYSICAL TOUCH: WHAT IS THIS LOVE LANGUAGE AND HOW TO DEMONSTRATE IT

Signs Your Love Language Is Quality Time

Quality time as a love language can sometimes seem difficult to identify as most people crave time together to some degree. The main factor here is to understand that quality time is the larger source of validation in your connections, says Thiago.

“It’s feeling more loved when you and your partner spend uninterrupted time together,” she explains. “It’s being able to enjoy quality interaction and conversation, eye contact and reciprocal communication. It’s about appreciating any moment when the two of you can have a shared experience.”

Again, the hard part is that many of us enjoy spending quality time with our love to some degree. However, people with this love language often strive for this to happen more often.

“The person with the love language of quality time usually makes a point of defining plans to prioritize the time spent with their partner,” says Thiago.

Some other signs to watch out for: Feeling very hurt if your partner seems distracted when you’re talking to them, feeling frustrated if you don’t have enough time with your partner, or feeling especially upset if your activities or time together is canceled or postponed.

SEE ALSO: Receiving Gifts: What is this Love Language and How to Demonstrate It

Examples of quality time

When it comes to love languages, quality time might seem self-explanatory, but the truth is, it takes a little practice to master, especially since what is considered quality time for one person may not be for another. Thiago, whose love language is quality time, says that for some people this can mean a scheduled one-on-one time. For others, it may just mean being in each other’s presence.

Here are some quality time ideas suggested by experts to consider when trying to make your person feel loved:

• Actively watching a show, series or movie together without your cell phones
• Start a new series together
• Read a book aloud together
• cook together
• Go to the park together with the dogs
• Take a walk around the block
• Eating out without cell phone distraction
• have coffee together
• Go to the supermarket
• Do a social action together
• Actively listen and respond to your stories
• Look him in the eye when he’s talking to you
• have a stimulating conversation
• Make a house project together
• plan vacation together
• Go on vacation
• Go to the gym or walk together
• Starting a new hobby as a couple
• Discuss and plan your goals together
• Schedule weekly meetings
• Relax together – like in the bathtub or on the beach

As you can see, there are many ways to spend quality time with someone. But since preferences can vary, it’s important to ask your partner to share 10 things he likes to do and then do it all with him.

Whatever the activities, the goal here is to be actively together. “Simply giving your partner your undivided attention, eye contact and using active listening are also great ways to spend quality time together,” explains Thiago.

SEE ALSO: 50 Relationship Phrases That Will Remind You to Never Give Up on Love

What if quality time is your love language, but you’re in a long-distance relationship?

Before you start panicking about spending quality time together if you’re in a long-distance relationship, sexual health educator Adriana Paredes says there are many ways to be together while apart.

Think virtual lunches, video calls, a morning ritual via Skype/Zoom. Take inspiration from everything you learned during the quarantines and apply it to your long-distance relationship. Because while it’s absolutely possible, it also requires some work.

SEE ALSO: 93 Questions For Boyfriends To Answer

Relationship tips if your or your partner’s love language is quality time

“One of love’s strongest communicators is time,” says Adriana, so figuring out how to use your time in a way that makes your partner feel good is essential. She advises practicing active listening without interrupting him or offering unsolicited advice, putting away his cell phone and working to give him as much attention as possible.

And honestly, no matter what your love language is, it will help in every relationship you have. Here’s what to do:

If your partner’s love language is quality time:

Firstly, if quality time isn’t your primary love language, it can feel a little weird to go out of your way to plan something as simple as hanging out together. But considering how connected we all are, Adriana says it’s something many couples don’t have. “We may be sitting next to our partners for hours, but we’re not really with them,” she says.

For that to happen, Adriana says you must prioritize it. A shared calendar and weekly/monthly date nights centered around planning future activities are good ways to stay up to date and ensure you don’t waste quality time. And when quality time is happening, put away your phone and use your body language to show that you’re there.

If quality time is your love language:

You need to inform your partner as soon as possible. Since couples often have different love languages, if your partner doesn’t know how much you value quality time, he may not put as much effort into planning date nights.

And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting your partner’s attention, Adriana says it’s important to be aware of when it’s appropriate or not to ask for it. “Making time for each other can help relieve the pressure of making every activity quality time,” she advises.

As with most things in terms of relationships, it’s all about balance, communication and respect.

SEE ALSO: 190 Intimate and In-depth Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend

What should you give someone whose love language is quality time?

Since quality time people are more about experiences than gifts, you might be a little lost. But “any way to spend time with your love will be a great gift”, says Adriana.

Before you think this means you can turn on Netflix and let this count as a birthday present, Adriana suggests you think more along the lines of concert or movie tickets, a planned night out at a restaurant, a couples massage or vacation/getaway.

Basically, people love quality time,…