Pride and arrogance: why it appears in some people and how to deal with it

pride is a self conscious feeling, gives meaning to the “I”, and has to do with attributions and evaluations of oneself with respect to others. can have a very valuable positive aspectand another very destructive refusal.

The armor of self-esteem

From the most favorable point of view, pride is related to the idea of satisfaction with oneself and one’s own actions, self-esteem and self-confidence. It is the deep satisfaction for an achievement as a result of hard work and helps us feel confident in what we do.

We can also feel pride towards another person. In this case, the predominant admiration, respect and appreciation.

Pride in a positive sense also represents the self-affirmation as a groupto highlight the feeling of belonging and claim rights as a group.

This more constructive pride contributes to increase self confidenceand therefore, fosters empathy towards others.

The bulletproof vest of criticism

He most negative pridewhich can even be destructive, is more associated with the pride and hostility.

Although each case is different, behind pride there is usually a great Inferiority complex. The use of arrogance disguises an inflated false self-esteem behind which a constant fear of being hurt. Each criticism, each different opinion, is experienced as a threat to personal identity.

As a metaphor maybe it can help you see the person with this destructive pride as a wounded child, who was not validated and who somehow received a lot of criticism of what he did, said or thought. That child was charging with anger, rage, for that lack of an approving look. All that arrogance, arrogance and hostility are nothing more than their defense mechanisms.

Constantly comparing yourself, defending yourself, criticizing others to appear better, is motivated by the inferiority complex that in the medium-long term, wears you down and creates a great base of unhappiness. The way to defend your fragile identity is through vanitymaking ostentatious displays of their achievements, their merits…

How is arrogance and pride expressed?

In the person with destructive pride, humility is conspicuous by its absence and, in its place, there is contempt for those considered inferior. In his superiority, he believes he deserves better treatment and privileges.

It also has a great inability to self-criticize and he takes criticism badly because he does not recognize his mistakes. Success, prestige and image in front of others is fundamental.

He does not show the slightest interest in understanding the motivations of others or what the people around him feel. He is very self-referential, can talk excessively, but only what interests you.

Likewise, negative pride can exacerbate prejudice against groups designated as inferior or dangerous.

How to deal with the pride and arrogance of others?

Pride manifests the desire to to be the favorite in front of the others, which sometimes makes you seem to live in a distorted reality that prevents you from seeing and acknowledging your limitations. the proud they understand humility as a weaknesswhen in reality it is an attitude that allows us to be flexible and receptive in order to learn what we do not know.

Dealing with people with a high degree of vanity and arrogance puts us in a position in which our self-esteem and assertiveness constantly falter. Listening to constant criticism, belittlement and demands makes conflict almost inevitable.

Learn to deal with it and protect ourselves It is a priority and these ideas can help you do it:

Visualize the person as a weak being that he has no other tools to defend his wounded ego. This will help you not to personalize criticism on you. He thinks that it is more his defect than yours. Pride is insatiable, it assumes that nothing will be enough. Try not to get carried away by their excessive expectations.If you enter the rivalry, you have to lose. Be professional, but keep in mind that success and achievement are not equally important to you and that you have other priorities in your life that also contribute to your happiness.Be aware of the limits that you are not going to allow them to be transgressed, let them know and act accordingly: leave the conversation, leave the room… Do not let yourself be subdued. Arrogant people usually arouse anger and are used to dealing with it. Treating them in a pleasant and polite way surprises them, and that will be your best asset. Be careful, do not confuse being nice with being submissive.Train an assertive communication style. Try to avoid outright criticizing the person, no matter how much you disagree. He starts sentences with “I believe / think / think that…” and tries to find commonality using “I agree with you on…”.Accept that person as they are. There is nothing worse than the fantasy of change, the thought that the next time will be different. Mentalize that it is not going to change, or at least that its change does not depend on you.Keep your goals in mind. If you think that you are going to be fooled or that it is going to cause you a lot of anxiety and you will forget about it, write them down and try to have them on hand.Don’t be blinded by his supposed achievementsmost of the time they will be oversized.If you see that it surpasses you, it is good to distance yourself. Limit contact to what is essential.Seek support and help. We don’t always know how to handle situations of this type and we need tools that we cannot learn by ourselves.

Always keep in mind that If you have discomfort, help you have to seek.