Personal growth and environment

The human being develops, in interaction with his environment, personal growth. As long as the conditions for it are met. However, people often have an excess of fear, which tends to slow us down and freeze our progress. And they end up stagnating our personal evolution. Aspiring to achieve our dreams and facilitate our advancement should be a priority.

You’ve probably heard of the comfort zone. It is a safe territory, in which The person is comfortable, because they know the terrain and do not usually have to face new or unexpected situations. Being in those corners confers a certain tranquility and even well-being at certain times. Now, as time passes and life progresses, certain frustrations may appear derived from “I regret not having done X” or “not having tried X”… And the feeling of having had to risk more to obtain things that they would like and do not currently have.

On the path to integral happiness we are destined, therefore, to change certain aspects of our lives from time to time.. Not to make radical changes, but to get out of that small comfort zone and dare to do things. Updating ourselves is like oxygenating ourselves, giving us vital space, seeds of opportunities and breaths of happiness.

Otherwise, if we limit ourselves to always staying the same way, we will be like that stagnant water that little by little becomes cloudy and unhealthy. Promoting movement and personal growth is key to health and well-being.

Change, personal growth and the environment

The people around us are used to always dealing with a fixed model of person. That is, whenever they talk to another they expect a way of being. The one they know and the one they have gotten used to over time. But When someone is evolving and undergoing changes, others will feel some uncertainty. And, normally, the latter usually takes the form of criticism and disapproval. We see with this that changes are, sometimes, difficult to accept.

When we are little, the physical development and growth of children is seen with the naked eye. It is normal for a child to have different needs as they age.

Now, at an age where the physical changes are not so visible. The body stops growing, but the mind continues to evolve, depending on ambitions, motivation, desires, personality, comfort level, economy, etc…

Experts have tried for decades to demonstrate the same thing: the intrinsic need of human beings to advance., to evolve. In fact, studies such as the one carried out by the University of Texas reveal that it is now possible to measure this ability thanks to a series of psychometric instruments.

There is something obvious: we are a stone that is constantly eroding and molding. We do not always remain in the same fixed state over the decades. To evolve means to change your attitude, behavior or objective. Who has not heard criticism like What is happening to you? You weren’t like that before“, with the intention of returning the person to their previous state.

A familiar example

Let’s imagine a teenager used to living with overprotective parents, critical and negative. As long as everything remains the same in that house, she is comfortable being dependent on them, everything will remain “fine.” And by “good” we mean in this case, without family altercations.

Now, when that girl grows up and evolves personally, she will realize that she cannot always continue to remain under the protection of her parents. She is not the best fit for her personal growth. You will reach an age where you will feel a need to be independentto decide on their way of thinking, living and doing things.

When his parents see that he is no longer in their hands, that he is no longer dominable and adopts his own thinking that is different from theirs, then the problems and reproaches will begin. Like “what’s wrong with you? You weren’t like that before, you’re causing a lot of problems lately.”

If the person who is evolving agrees to the reproaches, believing himself guilty, he will stop growing and will put himself in the hands of others who will manage his life. But, if it remains independent without letting his parents influence him, you can make a change in your life.

marriage example

There are countless cases of married women who have given themselves completely to the family.forgetting about themselves, running out of their own life.

The husband is so used to it that, If one day his wife starts to feel other needs and wants to have her own spaces apart from the family, she will suffer reproaches. and criticism that will try to stagnate it. Reproaches like: “What is happening to you? “You were an exemplary woman and I want you to go back to being the same as before.” Or “your friends are washing your hair”, “you are leaving your family aside”, etc…

The three pillars of personal growth

John Whitmore was long the father of the change process, personal growth and above all coaching. Within his premises was the need to “unlearn.” That is, leaving aside part of those models that inhabit our environments and that we have internalized to create something new. To break molds and be able to advance fully.

The three pillars of this movement that can bring us closer to this model of well-being are the following.

Awarenesswhich our own senses, values, experiences and emotions provide us with.Self-beliefthe value of believing in ourselves and in change.Responsibility to promote that personal advancement.

How can we face reproaches?

The reproaches and criticisms that we can receive when we are evolving are nothing more than fears from another person/s.. Fear of losing the stability they had before. They want to maintain at all costs that routine they had with their loved one and those changes they see in others terrify them.

The most important thing is not to get into arguments or fights. We must understand that the other person is afraid of losing something that until now they liked how it worked. If we respond angrily and get into heated arguments, we will not achieve anything positive.

It is best to stay calm and explain in a safe and mature way the new needs we have now. Show that over the years people change and now we have other desires. Whatever they say, we have to move forward with what we wantwithout anything holding us back.

It is not about convincing, nor getting angry, simply informing of what we want and what we are going to do because we are free beings to decide about our lives.

Changes are not demonstrated with words, but with deeds and actions. We must listen to each other and reflect on whether or not we are going in the right direction.in the one that fills us and motivates us.

A paradox about personal growth

Let’s make a comparison to understand personal growth.

Imagine that you put a tiger cub in a small cage. As you grow you will have other needs. If you do not change its cage, there will come a time when it will not be able to continue growing. The cage is too small, it will need another place to develop. The place where I once fit, now I don’t.

The same thing happens to people. We changed. And what was useful to us before, now is no longer. It can happen in many facets of life. In a friendly way, with people who previously filled us up and we had a great time. There may come a time when someone changes and wants a different friendship profile.

Studies such as the one carried out at the University of Hull, in the United Kingdom, remind us that personal growth is a basic need for human beings. It has nothing to do with personal development, but rather Growth is something broader and encompasses our entire person and our senses.

It also happens in couples. Someone can couple at one stage in their life, but when they change, their partner no longer fits their new values ​​and way of seeing life. Same in the family environment. Someone who was delighted to live with his family and there comes a time when he is no longer comfortable. It can happen in many areas of life.

Fight to get to the place where you want, for your personal growth. Choose an environment where your virtues and happiness can develop.

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