People who find it difficult to say “I love you”: why is this?

There are many people who find it difficult to say “I love you.”. These two words that have given titles to hundreds of songs, poems and film scripts seem to resist some men and women. It’s hard to say it out loud, even if your heart feels it. It seems that the voice remains silent when the feelings are sincere, but fears or insecurities put up filters and walls.

It is true that, although it is not said, the important thing is to know how to demonstrate it. After all, deep feelings can be revealed in infinite ways and that is always decisive. However, let’s admit it, We all like it when they tell us what they feel about us. It is a way of validating each other, they are emotional caresses that we always like to receive.

Likewise, another no less curious fact occurs. There are those who point out that, in these liquid times of fragile ties, “I love you” is barely said.. Doing so indicates a willingness to commit that certain people do not want to assume. It will always be easier, simpler and even harmless to resort to the classic “I like you”.

Saying “I love you” is not easy for anyone. It costs us all. However, there are people with clear difficulties expressing what they feel.

Reasons why it is difficult for those who find it difficult to say “I love you”

Normally, it is not always necessary for a person to express their feelings out loud for what they feel to be noticed or perceived. Somehow, we all identify if someone is attracted to us or harbors deeper emotions. They can show it to us in multiple ways, but we all long to hear out loud that they love us.

Being told “I love you” is almost double check WhatsApp blue. Curiously, there are also many who pronounce these two words excessively, who repeat it too many times and the significance of the most beautiful verb in all languages ​​is almost lost. Loving and caring give meaning to our lives, and few things make us happier than feeling loved.

Now… Is it so important that they tell us that they love us out loud? We could say that the most decisive thing is that they show it to us in a sincere and enriching way. However, All those people who find it difficult to say “I love you” usually reveal unique psychological characteristics. We analyze it.

1. The way we were raised (the burden of family)

There are those who have never heard “I love you” from their parents. There are many children who have been raised in an environment deficient in emotional communication. They are familiar scenarios in which emotions are not validated, in which the repression and containment of feelings is a constant.

A study from the University of North Carolina highlights this factor. Parents’ socio-emotional skills determine whether a child is more or less skilled in recognizing and expressing emotions.

Therefore, it will always be easier to express what we feel if we have been doing it since we were little and our parents have accustomed us to it…

2. The fear of being vulnerable (insecurity)

Many people who find it difficult to say “I love you” believe that expressing these words is a trait of vulnerability. They assume that expressing what they feel out loud makes them fragile. It is also common for them to feel insecure, and saying what they feel can be rash.

They are personalities who find it difficult to open emotionally to others, because They have spent their entire lives hidden under armor and defenses to protect themselves, with which to give an appearance of false resolution.

3. The decision to avoid commitment

There are those who choose to say “I like you” before saying “I love you.”. This practice is something that is appreciated today, especially in those people who avoid commitment. It may be the case that they are in love, but if they do not want (or are not ready) a solid relationship, they opt for dialectical juggling in what they say and express.

A “I like you” makes it clear that there is attraction, that one enjoys the company of the other. However, you avoid expressing something deeper to avoid a more solid connection or awaken hopes for the future in others.

4. Alexthymia

Alexithymia could also respond to this characteristic. This psychological condition is defined as a clear difficulty in identifying and expressing one’s own emotions. They cannot give a name to what they feel and, consequently, they will not be able to express “I love you”, even if they feel it.

It is interesting to know that, according to a study published at the Ogawahigashi National Center of Neurology and Psychiatry, in Japan, alexithymia would have its origin in neuronal alterations in the limbic and paralimbic areas.

Alexithymia makes it difficult for many people to identify, express and understand their own and other people’s emotions. They cannot understand what they feel nor communicate or talk about it.

5. Don’t say what you don’t feel

We cannot conclude this article without referring to something obvious. No one can express what they do not feel, even if we want it, even if we long for it. Even more, Not saying “I love you” when the feeling is not real is an act of maturity and responsibility.. We cannot deceive anyone or raise false hopes.

Therefore, if in the middle of a relationship we perceive that the other person stops expressing these words and their emotional communication has lost intensity, it is evident that love is fading.

Finally, as we have seen, there are several explanations as to why there are people who find it difficult to say “I love you.” Sometimes it is a result of our upbringing, other times it is due to simple insecurity, fear or reluctance to commit.

Either way, It is always good and advisable to drop those defenses that limit us and express with sincerity what is in our hearts.

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