Parental burnout: when fathers and mothers can’t take it anymore –

One thing is certain: if you have a subject that has become one of the most talked about topics during the pandemic, this subject is burnout. However, the term does not only live from professional exhaustion: today, we also see the growth of parental burnout.

What is parental burnout?

Second Ana Carolina PeukerPhD in psychology, CEO and founder of bee touchburnout is a syndrome that manifests itself through emotional exhaustion and the decrease in self-realization after chronic exposure to stressful and emotionally draining environments.

“Although, studies have pointed out that burnout can also occur outside of work and, equally, affect productivity”, she explains. “Other contexts in which there is constant pressure, high demand and accumulation of functions can also favor this syndrome. Therefore, parenting can be a fertile ground for burnout to develop.”

According to Ana Carolina, the first stage of parental burnout is global exhaustion, which can vary depending on the age of the children. It can be more physical in nature, in the case of young children, or mental, in the case of teenagers. “Soon after, this exhaustion becomes intense to the point of making parents distance themselves from their children – there is a lack of energy to dialogue, interact, educate and play. Already in the last step, parents tend to question their accomplishment in raising their children. Phrases like ‘I love my children, but I can’t stand being a mother anymore’ are a classic example of this stage, generating guilt, sadness and shame”, she continues.

What leads to parental burnout?

As in the corporate environment, any context in which there is constant pressure, high demands and accumulation of functions can favor this syndrome. And we know that this is particularly common when it comes to women and even more so when talking about mothers.

“In today’s world, there have been many changes in the way people live, such as telecommuting and hyperconnectivity. Factors linked to responsibilities and the balance of family life and demands at work increase the pressure on parents”, says the psychologist.

According to the professional, the picture is established when there is mental exhaustion, linked to complaints of physical illnesses, which do not always have an organic origin. can include a kind of stress which is shown by the feeling of time overload, as well as the perception that the amount of daily activities that must be accomplished is greater than the time available to carry them out.

“Due to this stress of time overload, parents suffer from impaired sleep, the feeling of being “stuck” in the routine, lack of time to rest and the feeling that there is no time to be with children, friends and family”, he says. .

Regarding children’s lives, it is important to remember that the emotional well-being of mothers and fathers is an important predictor of parenting practices and has repercussions on child development itself. “When parents are too stressed, they may resort to more simplistic, rigid parenting practices, with a greater predominance of negative emotions. Which parents are emotionally healthy, will use more adaptive parenting practices, manage to identify difficulties when they arise, have more realistic expectations about what children are capable of doing at a given age, in addition to other necessary understandings, such as perceiving the emotional needs of the children”, he continues.

That is, when there is stress, there is also a shortage of affective exchanges and adaptive and healthy parenting practices, which, in the long run, can interfere with the relationship between parents and children, and even with the emotional health of the children.

What is the treatment for parental burnout?

According to Ana Carolina, the first step in dealing with parental burnout is to recognize one’s own limits – and delegating functions, when possible, is essential for these limits to be maintained and respected.

“Parents do not receive paid vacations, cannot change jobs or ask for sick leave, but some attitudes can help to deal with this exhaustion: sharing experiences with other parents, seeking specialized help, building a social support network and not demanding perfection all the time. all the time are some measures that help reduce the feeling of inefficiency and loss of fulfillment with this role in your life”, he explains.

Last but not least, enlist the help of a specialized therapyeither as a family, or independently and personalized, is also part of the necessary care so that this exhaustion does not happen again.