Our window of tolerance: what is it and how does it affect us?

Imagine that you remember a good part of your personal experiences with an uncontrollable emotional overflow. When we find ourselves in states of hyper or hypoactivation, we stay outside our window of tolerance, when… Being inside the window helps us function optimally.

But what exactly is this window? The window of tolerance represents the range of emotional intensity that each of us is capable of experiencing. Within that range, that window, people can feel safe, learn and enjoy life.

What does it mean to be outside the window of tolerance?

Sometimes emotions overwhelm us for different reasons: mistrust, lack of strategies to manage emotions, inability to reflect, denial of the need to feel… The two limits of the tolerance window correspond to two extreme states of the organism’s optimal activation:

Hyperarousal: It is a state in which certain emotions (fear, anger, joy, shame…) are felt intensely. It corresponds to the increase in the activity of the sympathetic nervous system.Hypoactivation: It is a state of avoidance of feeling for different reasons, such as internal experiences that block us or inability to feel new, enriching experiences. It corresponds to the increase in the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system.

Depending on each person’s experiences, we configure ourselves to feel life in one way or another. For various reasons, some people become reactive, for example they suffer panic attacks or anger attacks. At the other extreme would be those people who are disconnected from their body and/or mind, thought flows slowly and it is difficult for them to even move.

In dangerous and/or traumatic situations, the body acts to survive and sets in motion mechanisms that sometimes fail to return to its “normal state.” Generally The people outside the window are those who had to act in these types of difficult situations and in which their baseline state of security and relaxation was altered..

How to stay within the tolerance window?

Neuroscientific research has shown that in these cases the only way to change how we feel is through awareness of our inner experience, respecting it and learning to live with it. The practice of mindfulness/consciousness (mindfulness) calms the nervous system and helps us recognize our emotions and control them better.

Teachers, such as Pat Ogden and Peter Levine, have developed body therapies, psychomotor psychotherapy and somatic experimentation to recover the normal functioning of the body. In Peter Levine’s therapeutic approach, the story of what happened takes a backseat and physical sensations are explored. This process of carefully moving in and out of internal sensations and traumatic memories is called the “pendulation process” and helps to gradually expand the window of tolerance.

Opening the window of tolerance can make us feel calmer and more focused on the present, enjoy new experiences, not feel so overloaded in certain situations… Different strategies can help us:

Mentalization.Containment: for example through the use of “mental images”. Creation of internal sensations of security.Positive routines: physical exercise, relaxation…stimulation cognitive.

7 basic steps in the practice of emotional regulation

The “limits of our window of tolerance” is a concept developed by Siegel (Cf., Simón, 2011) and that relates to the practice of mindfulness that allows us to stay within the window of tolerance. Mindfulness develops the prefrontal structures that make it easier for us to modulate emotions and maintain emotional balance. The practice aimed at regulating emotions involves seven steps, whose order and number can be alternate:

Stop.Deep breath to calm down.Take awareness of emotion.Accept the experience and the emergence of emotion.give us dear (self-pity).Let go or release the emotion.Act or not, depending on the circumstances.

Our attachment history largely marks the width of our window of tolerance, which can be seen reflected in our self-care guidelines. Positive self-care can be considered as that attitude or mental state in which the person accepts themselves, acting and leaving room for personal growth and development. So, Living life within our window of tolerance allows us to enjoy a pleasurable, engaged, and meaningful life.

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