Only children: advantages and disadvantages

There are all kinds of myths around only children. Some have some truth, but others don’t.. At the same time, more and more couples decide to have only one child, either due to economic conditions or because they do not have enough time to prolong parenting for many years.

Of course, being an only child is not the same as growing up with siblings. The type of family in which one grows will exert an influence on the shaping of one’s personality. This is not good or bad in itself. Neither having siblings necessarily makes you more social and supportive, nor does not having them make you a little tyrant who is intractable.

The fundamental thing in all cases is the parenting style and the example that children receive. However, it is usual for only children to develop certain character traits. They have advantages and disadvantages, just like those who grow up with siblings. What differentiates them? We’ll see it soon.

Parents of only children

Many wonder if parents of only children behave differently than parents of multiple children. The answer is yes. Despite this, The fundamental thing is not how many children they have, but the awareness and desire What was there to have?.

Parents of an only child who are not quite sure about the best way to parent, but at the same time really wanted to have a child, will tend to be a little anxious about parenting. They may consult many books and manuals for guidance. They are also likely to feel guilty easily for what may not go well. The child will receive the full weight of that tension and could become somewhat rigid.

There are parents who consciously intend to have children but, deep down, they do not want it. It is usual that in these cases they seek to delegate the child’s education to others. Maybe grandparents or maybe a boarding school. The only child will experience loneliness with greater rigor than usual and may have difficulties in adult life creating emotional bonds.

Finally, those who do not want to be parents but end up conceiving an only child could assimilate the situation and carry out relatively natural parenting. Or the child could become the exclusive recipient of that conflict between consciousness and the desire. In this case, children usually have great difficulties finding their place in the world.

Little adults

Dr. Toni Falbo, from the University of Texas, has studied the phenomenon of only children in depth. According to her assessment, One of the effects of this situation is that children live with adults most of the time.. That’s why they end up feeling comfortable among adults and behave in an adult way sooner.

As a result, only children tend to see adults and even their parents as equals. They perceive this distance between generations in a different way. In fact, they come to see the “greats” as their peers. This can lead them to be hard on themselves. They are required to be as mature as their elders and to obtain autonomy and achievements at a very young age..

On the other hand, Falbo points out that Only children tend to show higher self-esteem and more self-confidence. They find it easier to understand the expectations of teachers and authority figures and easily become leaders with people their own age.

Teamwork and friends

Only children tend to have a little more difficulty adapting to teamwork. They are used to organizing things in their own way and making decisions on individual terms. However, Everything indicates that this difficulty only manifests itself at the beginning of this type of work. The usual thing is that little by little they adapt and learn to fit into the group.

There is also data indicating that only children tend to have fewer friends than those who grew up with siblings. They do not feel comfortable in large groups. His thing is to have a few friends with whom the ties are usually deep. In fact, They tend to establish an attachment with friends similar to that that others establish with their siblings..

What has been established is that only children have slightly different traits than children with siblings. They only show big differences when parenting has been problematic for the parents, for one reason or another.. Otherwise, they present particularities that are not decisive.

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