Now white, now black (Emotional instability)

What do we mean when we talk about emotional instability? To begin with, the fact that people are happier some days and in a lower mood on others is normal. Likewise, anger, occasional discomfort and temporary sadness are also more than normal processes. Definitely, Emotions exist for a reason, to achieve our goals., to communicate and to survive.

The problem arises when these emotions stop being adaptive. So, people who feel them let themselves be carried away excessively by them, leading them to engage in extreme, inappropriate behavior that in the long run brings them more than one coexistence problem.

Thus, as Dr. Matthew Broome, from the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Oxford, explains to us in a study published in the The British Journal of Psychiatry, Emotional instability affects almost 13% of the population. It is more common in women and is, in turn, behind 60% of depressive disorders. Let’s see more data below.

What is emotional instability?

emotional instability It is a mental disorder that is characterized by a notable and sudden variation in emotional states. Therefore, people who suffer from it can go from zero to one hundred (and vice versa) immediately and without a compelling reason, as well as demonstrate an emotional intensity that does not correspond to the context.

In this way, a person with this psychological condition can go from overflowing joy to deep sadness, without middle ground, without measure or balance.

Something we should know about this psychological reality is that It is a psychiatric dysfunction that generates discomfort and that the person does not seem to be able to control. Likewise, as explained by a study by Institute of Psychiatry, University of Londonbehind these conditions is usually a personality that falls within the spectrum of neuroticism.

What are people with emotional instability like?

Emotionally unstable people do not tolerate frustrations. That is, if something does not go as they wish, they display a series of very intense and extreme emotional and behavioral responses such as anger, aggressiveness (either with themselves or with others), drug use, promiscuity…

They are people with low self-esteem, dichotomous thinking (either he is white or he is black), communication problems and few resources to face difficult situations. Also They are very impulsive and visceral. They do not think about the consequences before acting, therefore, they then face a major problem, which they do not know how to manage either. On the other hand, it must be said that they are very in love. They idealize people, which leads them to be very emotionally dependentchanging partners relatively frequently for a very specific reason: it is very difficult for them to be alone.They tend to experience an inner emptiness. All this causes many problems in the social, work, family area…It is difficult for them to be consistent with their objectives and goals. So the person may be motivated to carry out their projects, but when they go through a depressive phase they leave them unfinished. They have difficulty separating the problems, that is, They do not know how to separate their personal problems from other areas of lifesuch as studies or work.Likewise, In the most extreme cases, what is known as affective lability can emerge. In this case we would already be in a psychotic spectrum where hallucinations also appear.

One aspect that we must consider about emotional instability is that this condition does not arise overnight. We are talking about a personality style, where the behaviors reflected here are internalized and automated.

However, currently and in clinical practice There are multiple approaches and strategies available to respond to emotional instability.

Causes of emotional instability

The causes of this alteration usually vary from one person to another., since different factors intervene. However, the most common are:

A traumatic or chaotic upbringingwhere the person may have suffered abuse or mistreatment.Inheritance. Most people with this condition have immediate family members with a personality or mood disorder.

Treatment

As it is a psychological alteration that is difficult to overcome, It is most advisable for the person who suffers from it to go to psychological therapy.to. In this regard, it should be taken into account that there are multiple approaches that treat emotional instability, some of them are dialectical behavioral therapy, therapy based on mentalization and schema therapy.

In fact, There will be cases that also require a pharmacological response.especially with profiles that present personality disorders, depressive disorders, etc.

The ideal is for the patient to inform themselves about the available alternatives and choose the one with which they feel most comfortable. Given that Motivation and confidence in the treatment are very important.

For its part, if the person has sought psychological assistance before, but believes that it did not work, the least they should do is give up. In these cases, What determines the success of the treatment is not the type of therapy, but the relationship of trust established with the treatment.

Tips to treat emotional instability

There are a variety of strategies that help regulate emotions. Some suggested techniques in therapy are the following:

cool the mind

People with emotional instability get hot and react in a visceral and explosive way, without thinking. It is necessary learn to see problems from a certain emotional distancethis will allow us to analyze and manage them better.

One way may be to distance yourself from the situation, entertaining yourself with any activity that gives you pleasure. and may it be healthy. Going for a walk with the dog, riding a bike, listening to music or watching a movie alone keeps us entertained. This way we clear our minds and our level of anger or discomfort drops considerably after a while.

Troubleshooting

Absenting yourself from the situation and calming your anger is very good, it makes us see things from another perspective, but it cannot stay there. One more step forward is to address the problematic situation. The troubleshooting technique is very easy to carry out and it can help us a lot.

Is about generate many alternative solutions that do not include self-harm or aggression towards others, nor other maladaptive behaviors. We must make it clear and understand that none of them are 100% advantageous, since all will have advantages and disadvantages.

Once we have all the alternatives that have occurred to us, We value each of them with a ye score We choose the one that has the most advantages and fewer inconveniences. When choosing it, we create a plan to deal with the inconveniences that may arise from the chosen solution, so that it does not catch us offside and react badly to frustration.

Socratic dialogue with ourselves

Socratic dialogue is a technique that consists of questioning one’s own way of thinking. This strategy, guided by a good professional, can give great results.

To carry out this technique, First we have to identify the situation or problem that is causing us intense emotions and discomfort.. Once we have identified it, we ask ourselves what we are thinking about it. Typical thoughts of these people are: “If she hasn’t called me, it means that she has surely forgotten about me, that she doesn’t love me.”

After identifying these harmful thoughts, we begin to question them. It helps a lot to write our questions and answers in a notebook. An example could be: How am I so sure he doesn’t love me? What other alternatives could there be other than the one I think of? Am I jumping to conclusions?

Assertiveness training

People with emotional instability are characterized by lacking adequate strategies to assertively express thoughts, emotions and needs. Therefore, training in this competition is necessary; thus, They will be able to improve their self-esteem and their social relationships.

Thus, one of the most valuable assertiveness techniques is the one that allows us reach agreements. This strategy is used when the person sees their rights violated or is frustrated by something and needs to express their discomfort in an appropriate way.

The following steps are followed: First of all, we value the other as a person and put ourselves in their place. “I understand that was not your intention.”, we express the cause of our discomfort, but without judging the person. “People make mistakes and it is necessary to differentiate people from their behaviors.”I have felt bad because, although I know that you have acted like this without meaning to….”

After expressing our discomfort, we propose a solution so that it does not happen again, also taking into account the other’s proposals or opinions. In this way we negotiate and reach an agreement. There is no need to shout, fight, or insult…This would generate more problems and we would never reach a solution.

Simple, but difficult. Here practice plays a very important role if we want to get out of that emotional prison. Last but not least, it is worth remembering the importance of going to a good professional to receive a good diagnosis and the best treatment. Emotional instability responds very well to approaches based on cognitive restructuring, hence techniques based on cognitive-behavioral therapy can be of great help to us.

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