No, you are not a bad mother

It seems that people look for any excuse to get into “fight mode.” At the moment, A guerrilla has been created around the figure of motherhood (or rather the bad mother) who, as usual, the only one it harms is the woman herself.

The worst of all is that It is the women and mothers themselves who hurt each other, judging each other very harshly. depending on how we act with our children. For many, that is the criterion that counts, the only correct way to proceed, and the others are reprehensible.

It is true that There have been, there are and there will be, unfortunately, mothers who abandon their children or are negligent. Even in these cases, we should not accuse the woman of being a bad mother, but rather of being a woman with problems, wrong, who has made a wrong decision in her life and who did not know how to do it any other way at that moment.

The truth is that these women are the first who are not happy and the first who will have to carry the weight of their decision all their lives. However, this is a very radical extreme and we would never have to compare it with mothers who do love their children and give themselves every day to give them the best they can and know how.

Although our way of understanding motherhood, the education we want to give our children or the type of diet we decide in the first months is the best path for us, it does not mean that it really is the best, the only one and the one that should be followed. be.

We must be tolerant of other mothers who choose a different way of parenting. to their children: as long as neither the baby nor the mother is harmed and they are happy, what is the problem?

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Why aren’t you a bad mother?

You are not a bad mother if what your decisions really involve is the well-being of both of you.. Although it is true that specialists recommend following certain guidelines for raising the baby, the reality is that it is the mother who really spends hour after hour with her child, who really knows him and has privileged information to recognize what the best way to raise it.

We are criticized if we breastfeed for too long, even if we decide to give a bottle.

No not at all. We are doing great, in the best way we know how, as long as we act under the arms of love, which is what the baby really grasps and knowing what is best for him.

Because not all children are the same: Some have a terrible time being alone in their room, and others, on the other hand, have no problem and can sleep peacefully. There are babies who do not gain enough weight from the breast and need extra support, others, however, grow wonderfully and very healthy thanks to breast milk.

You are not a bad mother. Whatever you do, you are the best mother your child could have, the one who really knows what will benefit him and what will benefit both of you.

What’s the point of radically moving the child to his room at six months if you’re both going to have a terrible time? Why do you have to force yourself to breastfeed if that makes you anxious and you pass it on to your little one? Negative emotions out of motherhood! It is a time to enjoy, be calm, calm and happy. and thanks to science and common sense there are alternatives to facilitate this process.

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Don’t be an extremist, neither with yourself nor with others.

Aristotle already said it, virtue is in the middle point and how right he was! As mothers, The best we can do is be moderate in all our decisions and even more moderate when it comes to judging other mothers. It’s not about reading from pe to pa all the parenting books and put it into practice because it is supposed to be the best and that’s it.

It’s about also taking into account what your instinct tells you, making you feel happy in every decision you make. and to put aside the habit of judging yourself harshly. The most important thing is that both you and your baby are happy and healthy on all levels: physically and mentally. This will be the best indicator that you are doing it right.

The right to be wrong

May we never forget that we are human, and that We have the right to make mistakes and rectify. No, the fact that we have ever screwed up doesn’t make us bad mothers either. We can start over and correct our mistakes and nothing will happen.

Mothers have to support each other and above all respect each other. If you don’t like being judged, you shouldn’t judge other mothers either, even if you don’t agree with their criteria.

In fact, To give guidelines and advice there are already professionals to whom mothers can consult, so it is not advisable to venture to correct another mother who acts differently from you.

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Don’t be an extremist Moderation is always the best way. Don’t lose sight of the most important thing: what the child will really benefit from is growing up with consistent parents who love him.

Congratulate yourself for what a good mother you are and don’t beat yourself up if you sometimes fail.. Raising and educating are processes that, no matter how special and transcendent they may be, are part of life and concern our human nature. Thus, we will have to admit the error as a logical and consequent element of them. Nothing else.