Do your parents lack emotional maturity? (19 characters) ⋆ Loner wolf

All children deserve parents who are caring, attentive, receptive, and emotionally mature.

Unfortunately, the reality is that many of us were born into families that had the emotional intelligence of brick walls. This caused us to feel a sense of being abandoned, ignored, rejected and never really seen or appreciated for who we were.

If your parents were distant, self-absorbed, and insensitive, you likely had an emotionally immature parent.

What is emotional maturity?

Emotional maturity is the ability to be comfortable with a wide range of intense or conflicting emotions (whether positive or negative). People with emotional maturity are sensitive, empathetic, empathetic, receptive, and attentive to the needs of themselves and others. They are able to manage their emotions and keep space for the emotional complexities of others.

19 signs of emotion maturity (in Parents & People in General)

Let’s take a closer look at emotional maturity. Emotionally mature people:

Are realisticAre reliableCan think and feel at the same timeWork with reality (rather than fight it)Can laugh good-naturedly at yourselfDon’t take everything personallyHave consistent personalities Respect your personal boundariesResponse to reciprocity in giving and receivingAre politeAre sensitiveAre flexible and able to compromiseAre empathic (what makes you makes you feel secure) are balanced appreciate your individuality are self-reflective (and willing to change) are interested in getting to know you can laugh and be playful can listen attentively and compassionately

Emotionally mature people are total Nice to be here. You feel safe and truly seen in her presence. There is a sense of reciprocity and a genuine interest in learning more about you. There is no need to walk on eggshells around them as they are balanced, flexible and down to earth. These good-natured and empathetic souls are not afraid of emotional complexity or intensity, instead embracing them with love.

To be raised emotionally Immature parents is traumatic

Stop for a moment and let me ask you this question: How many of the above characteristics did your parents possess?

If you answered less than five, you undoubtedly have an emotionally immature parent.

Well, I’m not here to judge your parents or to reinforce a victim/persecutor complex. I’m here to help you face the truth about your childhood and to overcome the trauma you may have suffered as a result.

Being raised by emotionally immature parents is traumatic.

There’s no way around it.

It hurts us on a deep level not to really be seen, heard, or appreciated. Something in us gets suffocated when we are emotionally and psychologically neglected. Something in us breaks when we experience the unfathomably deep loneliness of never really being seen.

In my own experience of being raised by two emotionally immature parents, one of the weakest and most deeply painful wounds I have carried has been an unshakable sense of emptiness, loneliness, and basic abandonment.

I only recently discovered how deeply these traumas cut into my soul, when on vacation I broke down into a quivering ball of sobs and loud tears that erupted like violent tidal waves. I suddenly realized that I had never really felt like I existed. I suddenly realized that I had never really felt seen. Nobody, not a single soul, had ever really seen me – not my siblings, my extended family, my friends, my teachers and certainly not my parents. All anyone had ever done was project their ideas and beliefs onto me, no one had ever seen me.

Holding this trembling child inside me, it dawned on me how grateful I was to find an emotionally mature partner, someone who could see me And also, How unspeakably sad it is for a child to be born into a family that technically exists but offers little help, protection or comfort.

As decent people, it is our job, our duty, to learn and develop. But emotionally immature people are stuck in a stagnant state; refusing to confront our shared emotional reality because of their own unresolved internal wounds.

19 Signs Your Parents Are Emotionally Immature

For our inner child — the young and vulnerable place inside us — it can be terrifying to confront the ugly truth about our parents. It can feel like a serious breach of trust. After all, we want to make mom and dad happy, right? (In a way, most of us continue to feel that way.)

But at some point we need to step into adulthood, take our inner child by the hand, and embark on a healing journey. This journey requires us to dissect our childhood piece by piece and examine how it affected us (this is the essence of working with the inner child, by the way).

For many people, the journey to true adulthood, or what psychoanalyst Carl Jung has called individuation, begins with putting the spotlight on our parents.

So let’s get started.

Here are nineteen signs your parents are emotionally immature:

You are busy with yourself and self-centeredThey show dramatic (but shallow) emotionsThey are spoilsports: they cannot enjoy the happiness of their children They focus on the physical instead of emotionalYou cannot experience mixed feelings (which is a sign of emotional maturity), but only experience black or white emotionsYou cannot reflect on yourself or consider their thinking (a form of higher intelligence) because it is too emotionally threateningThey only feel comfortable when the conversation stays on an impersonal and intellectual levelThey expect you to read their minds and know what they need, but push away if you try to helpYou think literally and only talk about “what” (what they saw, what happened) but can’t talk about deeper issues (like “why” this happened, why I felt…)They crave exclusive attention (like children) and are not interested in mutual conversationsThey don’t try to understand your feelings and even pride in being insensitive (e.g. “I’m just telling it like it is”, “I can’t change who I am”, etc.)They communicate their emotions through emotional contagion and upset everyone around them (much like little kids do)You don’t apologize or try to repair relationshipsthey expect She reflect Them They enforce strict roles and foster toxic entangled family dynamics that reject individuality and boundariesThey feel entitled to do what they want simply because they are the “parent” and you are the “child”.They play favourites Their self-esteem depends on you giving them what they want or you act in a way She think you shouldThey shame you and show contempt for who you authentically are and how you really feel

How many of these signs did you say yes to?

Are Emotionally Immature Parents Narcissists, Too?

It’s not always clear whether emotionally immature parents are also narcissists.

There is definitely an overlap between EI parents and narcs — in other words, emotionally immature parents often exhibit narcissistic behaviors. But pathological narcissism (a medically diagnosable mental health problem) is a different matter altogether.

So there is no black and white answer here. Yes, some EI parents Power be clinically diagnosable narcissists. But others aren’t — they’re just irritated and frightened children masquerading as adults.

4 Types of Emotionally Immature Parents

Typically, emotionally immature parents fit into four different types (often overlapping) as defined by clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson. These are:

1. Emotional parents

Characteristics: Ruled by her emotions. Switch from over-involvement to sudden withdrawal. Tend to be unnervingly unstable and unpredictable. Perceive other people as their saviors or abandoned ones. Often overcome by fear and dependent on others for grounding. Treat small excitements like the end of the world.

2. Driven parents

Characteristics: Extremely busy and obsessively goal-oriented. Control and intervene. Have too high expectations. Try to perfect everything, including her children. Use work to avoid reality and emotion.

3. Passive parents

Characteristics: Rarely make rules or do much for active parenting. Rather let your children do what they want (because they want to avoid conflict). Take the back seat to a more dominant buddy. Tend to be push overs. Don’t stand up for your children. Allows abuse and neglect by looking the other way. Manage stress by minimizing it and conforming.

4. Parental rejection

Characteristics: Don’t enjoy intimacy. Mostly want to be left alone. Punish strong expressions of emotion. Do not tolerate the needs of others or disagreements. Actively shaming and belittling you. Fail to treat you equally. Issue orders from a place of “parental supremacy.” Have a pattern of blasting and isolating.

What categories do your parents fit into?

Keep in mind that it’s possible to have one parent who fits into multiple types of varying intensities.

How to stop being controlled by emotionally immature parents

Emotionally immature parents fear real emotions and withdraw from emotional closeness. They use coping mechanisms that resist reality instead of dealing with it. They don’t welcome self-reflection, so they rarely accept blame or apologize. Their immaturity makes them inconsistent and emotionally unreliable, and they are blind to their children’s needs once their own agenda comes into play.

— L. C. Gibson

Being the child of an emotionally immature parent is a terrifying and inhumanly lonely experience. We are growing…