Narcissistic depression, a very common reality, what does it consist of?

Egoism, grandiloquent attitude, lack of empathy, need for attention, conflictive relationships… When we draw the profile of a narcissist, it rarely occurs to us that, among that psychological relief, there is a place for anguish, helplessness and even ideation. suicide. Howevernarcissistic depression is a fact and a reality that occurs more frequently than we think.

There are those who point out that in recent years this type of personality has emerged more and more. The causes? Educational factors, culture, an increasingly selfish and individualistic society… Now, the fact of this increase is not entirely clear. What is evident is that we still do not know everything about this personality profile. To begin with, not everyone is the same. Narcissistic personality disorder, for example, falls on a spectrum.

That is to say, there will be people who only show certain traits, certain exaggerated behaviors and some other arrogant behavior. On the other hand, there are those who are located at that most extreme pole in which the most harmful envy, manipulation, violent communication and obsessive desire to place themselves above others appear.

In this more or less pathological behavioral variability, There are common roots: relational problems, poor management of emotions, the feeling of not feeling understood and suicidal thoughts.. The mind of a narcissist is more complex than we may think. Thus, and although on average they generate rejection and discomfort, it is necessary to understand a little better the underground of his mental universe.

Narcissistic depression: symptoms, causes, treatment

Narcissism taken in isolation and separated from the psychological disorder as such has a positive basis. We all “need”, in some way, that positive self-image that allows us to value ourselves, appreciate ourselves and have a good sense of self-efficacy. Those traits that we usually attribute to the common narcissist actually contain some dimensions that, used appropriately, benefit us.

However, On the opposite side we have that extreme narcissism that completely distorts acceptable traits.. Men and women defined by this condition desperately long for others to offer them what they lack. It is an almost stark need that guides them to monopolize relationships, to desire to achieve success by climbing over others at all costs, even committing unethical acts.

Behind this desire to possess, to be the center of attention and to engulf others to accumulate power or admiration, an endless number of deficiencies and psychopathological abysses are hidden. It’s more, Within clinical practice, it is known that people with a narcissistic personality disorder show serious mental health problems. and, especially, depressions (Clarkin, Yeomans and Kernberg, 1999; Stone, 1990).

Symptoms of narcissistic depression

Narcissistic depression can show wide variability. Sometimes, we can have individuals with violent and defensive behaviors that use anger as a screen to hide internal suffering. Other people, on the other hand, show more passive, evasive and introspective behavior.

Let’s see, however, what the clues are to this type of depression:

Deterioration in social relationships and constant feeling of not feeling understood.Feelings of loneliness and isolation.Constant mood swings: At moments they appear dominant and self-confident and after a few days they lock themselves in their minds, they are apathetic and unwilling to leave the house.They show a feeling of frustrationof never being able to achieve what they want. They suffer anguish and sadness that is camouflaged with constant anger and irritability. Lack of confidence in the future, hopelessness and constant negativity. In narcissistic depression, symptoms are common. suicidal thoughts.

What are the causes?

Doctors David Kealy Olivier Laverdière, from the University of British Columbia in Canada, conducted a study on narcissistic depression. If we ask ourselves the reason why a person with this psychological and behavioral reality results in this condition, the origin would be in the following triggers:

Narcissism has two related but distinct dimensions: grandiosity and vulnerability.Grandiosity is defined by an inflated ego, by the need to exploit others… For its part, vulnerability often comes from the educational factor, bad upbringing, the emotional deficiencies generally suffered in childhood. Thus, something they always expect from others is recognition, validation and understanding. However, what they obtain from their environment is hostility given their behavior. The majority distance themselves from them and that frustrates them, makes them desperate… They accumulate so many contradictory emotions that they do not know how to handle them. and, little by little, they lay the foundations for depression and anxiety disorders.

On the other hand, All these experiences end up creating in them the feeling of uselessness. They feel ashamed of themselves, they hate themselves… But, at the same time, they try to hide their defects until they become more distant and depressed.

How do you treat a narcissist who suffers from depression?

It is not easy for someone with a narcissistic personality disorder to go to therapy. Likewise, whoever takes the step is not committed to the process either. However, sometimes they can find themselves in extreme situations, such as a first suicide attempt. In these cases, it is important to work on the following aspects:

Make them see the distortions they apply in their processing of emotions. It is necessary to provide them with strategies to understand and manage these painful feelings. They must work on self-acceptance and concepts such as gratitude, forgiveness and self-compassion. It is important, above all, address the underlying trauma that often exists in these psychiatric conditions. In many cases, the origin lies in a complicated childhood. Also in every broken relationship. You will be guided to learn to interrupt repetitive negative thoughts and establish a positive reappraisal. Resilience, post-traumatic growth, empathy, problem solving or social skills are aspects that must also be taken into account.

To conclude, narcissistic depression is a very common and often neglected phenomenon. It is necessary to detect and treat these situations before extreme situations occur. Change, no matter how challenging it may seem, is possible in these cases.

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