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10 Actions We Often Take for Our Children That Don’t Have a Positive Impact on Their Lives

Motherhood and fatherhood begin from the first moment we embrace our children. However, as unfortunately there is no book that explains how to become a good father or a good mother, we end up doing everything our own way, always thinking about the best. But during this arduous learning process, some things we do as parents that we think are good for our children, deep down, end up not having a very positive impact on their lives.

It was from this idea that the awesome.club researched what are the most common actions that do not usually help in the development of children.

1. Do everything for them

Many parents decide not to bother their children with “adult tasks”, but it is necessary to teach them the importance of doing these things from an early age, mainly because it helps to develop the child’s independence. For example, doing household chores is a way of transferring some responsibility and trust, as the child realizes that his contribution is indeed valuable to the family.

In addition, it is important that children also participate in activities in the kitchen and help take care of minors, to develop responsibility and maturity.

2. Leave marriage in the background

When a baby arrives in the family, the sleepless nights and life that the couple was used to are usually left behind, but taking care of children at any age is not an excuse to let a relationship die. A psychologist recommends that bedtime be a priority, as that way the two will be more willing the next day. It is also important to respect the “failures” of others, after all forgetting can just be a lack of sleep or tiredness.

Also helping to improve a relationship are showing gratitude and maintaining hobbies. In addition, it is essential that there is space for both to talk and complain about whatever they want.

3. Make the child eat

Of course, most parents want their children to eat healthy foods, but vegetables and fruits are not usually the most attractive options in a child’s eyes, and forcing them to eat alone will only cause an even greater refusal. Experts have given some tips on how to make this type of situation go more smoothly.

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First of all, it is necessary to understand that the child knows how to listen to his own body and knows when he needs and when he does not need to eat. Furthermore, the meal begins before we sit down at the table, in the supermarket, in the kitchen, in the garden, etc. This earlier moment is important to encourage the child to try new foods. Another important thing is that adults should not speak ill of some foods, as this only reduces the child’s interest. It’s important to encourage little ones to try new things, as the more the child tries, the more he will tolerate.

4. Valuing talent more than effort

Saying that your child is a genius in a certain subject, or saying that he has a great talent or gift, will certainly motivate him and help him to go further. But nurturing the talent rather than what he did to get where he is can lead a child to behave narcissistically and can damage his self-esteem.

Experts recommend congratulating the child for his efforts, thus naturalizing hard work. It is also good to celebrate the mistakes made during the learning process, as in this way the adult helps the child to master the most difficult tasks and to move forward despite setbacks.

5. Solve all your life problems

Parents want their children to live happily and worry-free, but all of us, at some point, go through difficult stages. Avoiding negative experiences by solving a child’s problems is not good for the child or the parents.

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The best thing you can do is teach your child to solve the setbacks that arise, that way he becomes more confident and independent. Also, he won’t get frustrated when a difficulty arises, and he will find different tools to creatively and persistently solve problems.

6. Schedule lots of activities

It’s normal to want to give your children the opportunity to experience different sports and cultural activities to develop their talent, but it’s not good when these activities take up most of their life outside of school. Children with busy schedules can become overwhelmed, which can lead to moodiness, irritability, stomachaches, headaches, and even anger.

In addition, children need free time to play. For example, when a child plays with other children, he develops creativity and social skills, which is also positive for cognitive, physical and emotional development.

7. Forcing the child to socialize

Social life is a very important part of a child’s growth, but for some it’s not always so easy to make new friends. And that’s okay, since each person has a personal pace to develop their sociability. Forcing a son or daughter to interact with other people is not the solution, because, according to a psychologist, this “can have the opposite effect and lead the child to isolate himself”.

The most important thing is to motivate the child and provide him with the means to learn to socialize, placing him in situations and circumstances that facilitate interaction with other children, so that they learn and practice their social skills.

8. Do not leave the child alone

Being with your child all the time can give you the feeling that your child is protected, but don’t forget that while it’s not easy to cut the umbilical cord, it’s important for your child to spend time alone.

When our son plays alone he learns important values ​​about life, such as not needing to depend on others to be happy; that is, social independence and not needing to be surrounded by people all the time to feel safe. This also gives him calm and self-control and, in addition, offers a respite for the parents.

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9. Spending unnecessary money

Wanting your kids to have the best clothes, the best toys, and the best things can not only impact the family budget, it can also set them a bad example about the use of money. An expert says that we should teach the importance of money before the age of 7, always explaining what money is and what its value is.

In addition, it is also good to show the importance of having a budget and that saving is fundamental for future purchases. If you want, you can give your child some reward for doing housework so that he starts to better understand the value of money.

10. Comparing children with other children

It is normal for a child to find it easier than others for certain tasks, after all, we are all different. And that’s why we must always avoid comparisons between our child and the child of others.

This type of situation can generate envy, jealousy and rivalry, especially when comparing siblings. In addition, this dynamic can be harmful to self-esteem, as it ends up showing that the child does not have certain characteristics that the parents wanted him to have, making him feel insecure and less loved. As an encouragement, reinforce your child’s strengths without thinking about others, and don’t forget to celebrate positive behaviors so your child knows they are valued.

Do you think you made some “failures” in relation to raising your children? Would you have done something different? If you have any other advice for parents-to-be, let us know in the comments.

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