My son is afraid to sleep alone. What to do?

At age 10, my son regressed. He is afraid of the dark and of sleeping alone. At night, he doesn’t shower or go to the kitchen alone. During the day, on the contrary, he is a leader, braver than his friends. What’s happening?

First of all, remember that it is healthy for the little one to express their weaknesses. “Regression is part of human development at all ages, as our maturation is not linear. And it’s really good to have openness to talk about it”, highlights psychologist Marina Mauaccad, from São Paulo. Fear can be triggered by outside issues or be inherent to maturation itself. It is worth reflecting on whether there have been any recent changes at home or at school that may be causing anxiety in the child. Talk to your child and make it clear that he can open up about what is ailing him. “Do not try to correct your feelings, but offer acceptance”, warns Marina. “If sleeping with the light on provides him with comfort at this stage, why not?”, She observes. Psychologist Raquel Manzini, from Brasilia, agrees. “By day, with the child busy and happy, the internal conflicts disappear. At night, they show up, and she needs to feel that her family is there beside her.”

Another possibility is that, at age 10, he is more aware of the dangers of the world, unlike when he was younger and felt completely protected at home. Educator and neuropsychologist Adriana Fóz, who coordinates the Cuca Legal project, at the Federal University of São Paulo, aimed at promoting the mental health of young people of school age, emphasizes the weight that the label of leader can bring. “Maybe he feels so demanding that he becomes stressed out,” she says. Even if you don’t think you’re demanding your child to be the best, check if you don’t pass that image by demanding too much of yourself. Adriana cites a case of a boy of that age who always had an excellent performance in studies and suddenly “locked up” and developed a panic disorder. “The family is understanding, they tell the boy that he can relax, but the father himself, a top executive, pushes himself too hard”, she observes. Dialogue and affection are important, but the model that is understood as the “right” greatly influences feelings. The neuropsychologist is also aware of the fact that the boy is about to enter puberty. “The body is starting a major process of change, and chemical changes typical of this phase can trigger fear,” she explains. Think about seeking professional advice only if his discomfort is exacerbated, causing, for example, insomnia. At night, he proposes relaxing activities, such as tea and reading, to help you switch off.