My partner doesn’t want to have children: what can I do?

Stable emotional relationships are based on many pillars. In some couples, one of the most striking is that of the offspring. Thus, When one of the members does not want to have children, conflicts may arise that seriously affect the relationship.

Nowadays, when you want to have children by choice and not by obligation, for many people it can be a more difficult decision than when it was simply “what had to be done.” Another difficulty in making this decision can also be the regret of becoming parents.

At this point, you may be wondering what you can do if you want to have children and your partner refuses. Below, you will find some general courses of action to make it a healthy and respectful process for both of you.

Why doesn’t my partner want to have children?

The reasons that can lead a person to not want to have children or to change their mind, if they previously wanted it, are varied and multiple. From the fear that one’s children will inherit a disease, to economic reasons, to relocating one’s desires and life aspirations, among others.

Certain personal factors also have an influence on this, as there are people who do not have much parental instinct or who would have difficulty adequately transmitting the necessary teachings to the child during upbringing.

Thus, when this doubt arises in the relationship, it is important to address it with honesty and respect. The decision to have children must be authentic and mutual so that the couple does not suffer and they spare their potential children discomfort.

What should I do if my partner doesn’t want to have children?

Although it is an issue that can be a turning point in the couple’s relationship, or even its breakup, the objective will always be to find an agreement that both parties can accept and find as healthy as possible. Therefore, here are some tips to achieve it.

Address the topic as soon as possible

It is not a situation that is going to resolve itself. In fact, it is most likely that discomfort and tension will increase if the issue becomes problematic and enlarges like an elephant in a small room. For your own well-being and that of your partner, The most important thing will be to talk about it carefully with honesty and respect.

This, in addition to resolving the tension in the relationship, will help both in the subsequent process of the relationship to achieve a healthy coexistence. Now, if the final decision is to end the relationship by mutual agreement and without blaming each other, it will be a much more bearable grief for each of you.

Review your own ideas, desires and aspirations

The previous step to communicate the desire to have children must be based on a deep reflection of personal reasons. A child should never be the result of an impulsive decision; An evaluation of the resources available for their upbringing is necessary: ​​money, time, mental health, etc.

You also have to consider how you are going to handle the decision that your partner does not want to have children. If you decide to abandon your desire to have children, it is recommended that you reflect on whether you could continue with your partner without holding a grudge, if you have another life path that does not include raising children or the reason why you needed to have them in your life. In addition to Ask yourself about what you would like your long-term future to be like.

Don’t force their decision

Of course, the central axis of conflict resolution will always be that none of you feel that your rights have been violated. You don’t have to give up your desire to have children; Nor should your partner have them under duress.

If after the conversation it has become clear that your desires are incompatible, it may be time to consider whether it is best to go your separate ways. On the contrary, if the final decision is affirmative, you will have full confidence that it is a mutual and healthy decision.

In the end, the resolution of conflicts of this nature always has a fundamental factor, perhaps the most important: good communication. A relationship that communicates assertively will probably avoid many disagreements and will have a basis of understanding and honesty that will facilitate the resolution of conflicts or arguments.

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