My boyfriend has no initiative in bed: reasons and what to do

If you’re wondering, “why doesn’t my boyfriend take initiative in bed?” We can tell you that one of the possible reasons for this lack of interest may be because your sex life seems boring and routine.

Many times, the lack of initiative in the couple is caused precisely by monotony in sexual relations. This usually happens especially in already established relationships or where both members have been living together for a few years.

There are also other reasons why you tend to lose a little passion in sex, such as having children or constant arguments as a couple. Whatever the reason, these types of causes usually take away some of our time for sex to such an extent that in the end, we do it in a more hurried and monotonous way. Therefore, it is likely that if your partner has noticed this decrease in passion in your sexual relationships, he will feel less and less desire to go to bed with you.

If this is the reason why you notice your boy uninterested and you are wondering what to do in this case, it is best to mainly you dedicate much more time to your sexual relations. In addition to this, it is also important that from time to time you include some novelties in bed such as trying new positions, sites or some accessories and/or sex toys. You could also ask your partner what their sexual fantasies are and then try to do some of them.

Although it may sound somewhat contradictory, another reason why a man does not take the initiative is precisely that you almost never take it. Sometimes, some women think that it is the man who has to take the reins in sex, while they are the passive party in bed. However, this is a serious mistake, since most men love for their girl to adopt a more active position during sexual intercourse. That is, just as you like your boyfriend to seduce you and try to excite you, he would also like you to do the same.

If the problem is that your lack of sexual initiative has caused him to lose his, the solution is quite clear: adopt a more active position in bed. A good way to start is, for example, taking the first step and suggesting that you go to bed. Furthermore, if your lack of initiative is because you were embarrassed to take charge in bed, it will be time for you to start trusting yourself more. Bring out your most seductive side and recover the passion lost in sex.

To help you learn how to have initiative in a relationship, in this other unCOMO article we explain how to be more daring in bed.

Another reason why your boy is more reluctant to have sex and has even rejected you on some occasions may be because he is not going through a good personal moment. It could be that your boyfriend is stressed about work, has had an argument with a friend, and has even recently lost someone important.

While in these types of situations some people try to lean on their loved ones, others they tend to withdraw into themselves and they try to pretend that they are fine. Your boyfriend is probably in this second group and is trying to be strong so as not to worry you. However, the problem with accumulating that stress or sadness is that it eventually comes out, which may be affecting your initiative in bed.

In these types of cases, the best thing you can do is try to talk to your partner so that I can finally bring those feelings to the surface. However, it is important that you do not approach the subject directly, but rather be empathetic and subtle, otherwise you could make him withdraw more into himself.

This other article on How to talk to my partner about my feelings can also help you.

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