Meaning of dreaming about your first boyfriend

After some time of absence in this section, we return to the Dream Dictionary of with a type of dreams, apparently banal, but that entail a deep and varied meaning.

Waking up from a dream about your first boyfriend can be disconcerting, especially if it’s someone who was in your life many years ago, decades, perhaps. However, whatever happens in the dream doesn’t necessarily reflect something about your first boyfriend, but rather about you. That is to say, dreaming about your first boyfriend is essentially related to what is happening in your life at the moment (see: 6 easy questions to decode your dreams)

It’s always strange to dream about someone who was in your life 20, 30 or 40 years ago. At this point, it is not exactly your first boyfriend who appears in the dream, instead, he can embody the emotions of first love, often idealized: passion, anxiety, desire, the feeling desired. Because that first love represents these types of intense feelings, they will tend to appear in dreams when your current relationship has become a routine, or when you are going through a period of loneliness (see: 10 universal patterns to understand your dreams)

Your subconscious is reminding you what these overwhelming emotions can feel like, perhaps to encourage you to go out and find someone who can awaken them again, or to activate them in your current relationship. In any case, to do a deep analysis there are some questions that you should answer after having a dream about your first boyfriend: what was that relationship like? How I finish? Would you like to be with him again? (see: Dreaming about someone who is not your partner)

When dreaming about your first boyfriend you probably visualized him professing his love for you, apologizing to you, even asking you to get back with him. All of that can seem very real when you are in the dream. In fact, you may wake up thinking that your first boyfriend really wants to see you again. This is not a good starting point for an analysis, because that is what you want, that is what you are exploring in the dream; That is you doing a dress rehearsal of a desire that, intimately, you want to be a concrete possibility (see: Meaning of dreaming about an ex-partner)

If you dreamed that your first boyfriend was rejecting you, well, it’s yourself trying to help you come back to reality. See the dream as a conversation with yourself. Whatever your first boyfriend is telling you is what you are telling yourself about your first boyfriend.

If in the dream with your first boyfriend there is a conflict, or even a breakup, you can ask yourself what conflict you are going through at the moment, especially if it was a toxic relationship. Whether it is a dream about your first boyfriend cheating on you again, or exercising some type of violence, physical or verbal. Meeting an ex in dreams who caused you harm, who made you miserable, usually has the same reasoning. This is particularly common in women. They will dream that the ex is still hitting them, that they are still suffering from the abuse. This is a product of trauma, and reliving those situations in dreams is a form of healing (see: Astral attacks: ex-partners who appear in dreams)

It’s important to be honest when analyzing your dream and ask yourself: are you still punishing yourself for having been in a relationship like that? Women in abusive relationships often stay in them too long. When they finally manage to escape, they usually have feelings of guilt and anger with themselves; In fact, you might feel like you were the cause of all that abuse. Nothing could be further from the truth, but your dreams will always tend to fulfill repressed desires, which is why it is not uncommon that, in that context, you continue allowing abuse, only now you are the one who exercises it, not physically but psychologically (see: My boyfriend and I dream the same dream)

Now, the figure of the first boyfriend does not necessarily accurately reflect the events of the past. I mean, you could have a romantic dream about someone you technically never dated, a friend, a first kiss, someone you really liked but never paid attention to you, etc. In all these cases, the person represents some outstanding quality in your dream. So what do you remember most about this person’s personality or the time you spent together? If you are honest when answering this question you can easily know what that dream is about. Maybe you might be needing that quality back in your life, or, if it was a terrible experience, how you can prevent it from happening again with someone else.

If your first boyfriend cheated on you, dreaming about him is probably an exercise in psychological liberation for you. You are expressing your frustration, disappointment and anger through the dream because maybe you couldn’t do it in real life. Many times dreams are dress rehearsals that place us in very realistic scenarios so that we can better prepare for a similar event. Through this dream, you are likely putting your thoughts in order so that, number one, you can make sure it doesn’t happen to you again and, number two, you can have your arsenal ready to defend yourself if it happens again.

If you dream that your first boyfriend is breaking up with you again, we must first understand a couple of things. If it was recent, then you’re still not over it. There is still some trauma that you are experiencing and replaying over and over again; But if the breakup was a long time ago and you are dreaming that this first boyfriend is abandoning you again, then you should ask yourself: What is currently happening that is making me relive this feeling of rejection? (see: Why do I always dream of the same person?)

The particular reasons for dreaming about your first boyfriend are quite easy to decipher if you ask yourself the following questions:

1- What is the outstanding quality of this particular person or relationship?

2- Is there anything in my current life or relationship that is similar to my first boyfriend or my relationship with him?

3- Are there any lessons I learned from that particular first boyfriend or relationship that I can apply to my current life or relationship?

4- Are the actions or circumstances in the dream similar to any of my current circumstances?

5- Are the emotions or thoughts I had in the dream related to how I feel or think about something in my life or relationship right now?

Dreaming about your first boyfriend doesn’t necessarily mean that you still have feelings for him; in fact, it’s rarely about them. Your first boyfriend appeared in dreams to give you a message that you need to know. Our past shapes who we are in the present. Dreams about exes remind us that for our current or future relationships to be healthy, we must overcome pain and negativity, but hold on to the lessons we have learned (see: How to communicate with someone through dreams)

Whether your relationship with your first boyfriend ended amicably or left you indifferent and struggling to get over it, in a way it’s back and now you can’t seem to get it out of your mind when you’re awake. Dreaming about your first boyfriend, especially if you haven’t seen him in many years, is perfectly normal.

Your first boyfriend is a symbol. The biggest mistake you can make when trying to interpret your dream is to think that it is about the person you just dreamed about, because dreams are symbolic. Instead, focus on the hidden content of your dream. Your subconscious mind, or your dream, chooses the best possible representation for something it is trying to symbolize, so if the content is about your first boyfriend, you should try to figure out what he symbolizes within you.

That is to say, the dream is not about your first boyfriend, but about you.

Think of the people who appear in your dreams as recipients of your emotions. You are the one who created the dream. It is like a work of art of your emotions, and its function is to help you process those emotions by encoding and building memories of them. What we see and experience in our dreams may not always be real, but the emotions associated with these experiences are, so much so that when dreaming about your first boyfriend you probably experienced some very intense sensations (see: Knowing if someone dreamed about you )

All the experiences of the day are lodged in the subconscious, and the dream is the commentary on what happened until you fell asleep. Dreams are always pointing to these small or big conflicts. Now, when the dream is recurring, its repetitive nature can mean that your psyche is sending you messages on different levels, such as notes or reminders to figure things out when you are awake. In any case, there are too many metaphors, too many symbols in dreams, so many that they are rarely about one thing. You have to work hard to see the layers. For example, where are they in the dream (location), what is the predominant emotion (happiness, sadness?), and what did you feel when you woke up (closure). Every aspect is important (see: Dreamwalking: when someone strange enters your dreams)

Is it true that if you dream about someone, this person is also dreaming about you? Not necessarily. As attractive as it may sound, we do not become mediums or psychics while we sleep. But it’s not impossible that you can share an extrasensory connection with someone you’ve been with in the past. In short, we dream about what worries us most, which is why it is likely that a dream about your first boyfriend has more to do with your current partner, or with your romantic situation at the moment, than with your first boyfriend (see: If two people have the same dream, is it still just a dream?)

Most people wake up from a dream about an ex and immediately assume that they must miss this person (see: Does Dreaming About Someone Mean That Person Misses You?). However, it’s probably not your first boyfriend that you miss, but rather an aspect of who you were when you were with him. Maybe there is some dissatisfaction in your current life and you miss the happy and carefree way of living from those years. Whenever we dream about ex lovers or partners, or any type of ex, the first place we should look for meaning is within ourselves. There is a reason for these dreams, and that reason has something to do with what Carl Jung said:

One should never forget that one dreams, first and foremost and almost exclusively, of oneself. Any exception is governed by fairly defined rules. If we recognize this truth, we will sometimes encounter very interesting problems. I remember two instructive cases: one of my patients dreamed of a drunken tramp lying in a ditch, and another of a drunken prostitute who was wallowing in the ditch. The first patient was a theologian, the second a distinguished lady of high society. They were both outraged and horrified, and steadfastly refused to admit that they had dreamed about…