Manipulation, the art of using other people’s weaknesses to achieve power

We are walking through a subway station. We return tired from a day of exhausting work, wanting to lie down on our long-awaited sofa and devour the entire refrigerator. Suddenly, we begin to smell crepes next to us and our memory brings us the sensation of their flavor, which we love. In the background, a musician tunes one of your favorite songs on his guitar. Would you give him a coin?

Psychologist Robert Baron of Renssealer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York, studied this phenomenon with his team. According to his results, it seems that We are three times more likely to give a coin if we are surrounded by pleasant than neutral smells.

And human beings are influenced by nature. We don’t need a master manipulator to make our brain bend to emotions long before logic and reflection. How then to detect manipulation? How do we know that we are feeling used? Let’s dig deeper.

Small daily manipulations

It is normal that we do not resist any speech that pleases our ego and promises us happiness. Without going any further, many of the tactics of our social relationships and current discourses about success They use persuasion both implicitly and explicitly.

Manipulation has a powerful effect on us, beings by nature communicative and full of emotion. In fact, sometimes we convince ourselves by the most trivial attitudes and actions. For example, we succumb to our cat’s call for us to pick up something for the simple fact that he puts his claws on it.

Perhaps we are one of those who retreat from our children’s requests to spend more time playing a video game, even if we believe that they should not do so. They are specialists in playing with our feelings, they continually test us. Children are evidence that manipulation and its tactics are shown very early.

The perverse manipulation

Being aware of this natural tendency, present in all of us, We cannot feel guilty about trying to use all available resources to get what we want. We all manipulate to a greater or lesser extent. However, true manipulators know our limits and use them.

The real specialists in deception and simulation They are nourished by the keys that we ourselves are showing them.. What we carry out as an action of generous sincerity and an exercise of intense intimacy, they keep as a great ace up their sleeve.

A high degree of manipulation towards others can even be a sign of psychopathy. In summary, the manipulator uses your weaknesses to his advantage. Using them against you, he convinces you to act the way he wants.

Manipulators have a need to control others and those who are manipulated are not to blame for falling. However, there are certain characteristics that those who are most easily deceived share. Furthermore, the person who gives in to manipulation once tends to do so more easily in the future. This occurs because vulnerability is learned.

If you reveal what you lack, you are at the mercy of others

The person who manipulates tries to promise you what you want most. That’s why, The more he knows about your needs, the more weapons he can use against you..

Besides, Manipulators are also experts at exploiting your insecurities.. For example, if you feel clumsy at something or doubt your abilities, people will appear to teach you and berate the ridiculousness of your behavior, always upon payment of some absurd amount. On many occasions, the products you buy on these occasions are nothing more than smoke.

Also we find “the eternal victim.” This type of manipulation is more complex, since in principle no material benefit is sought. This would be the person who exposes all of his complaints, vents to you, and talks to you about everything he would like to say to other people. Later, she makes you feel guilty if you also bring up a problem.

The eternal victims have always had it worse. You only show a lack of empathy or maturity by your complaints. It is always the other party that is the most affected, the most painful and the strongest. You have no reason to complain or to be heard on your “turn.” Manipulation would consist of getting unlimited attention from you.

However, there are many types of manipulation, but they are all based on the same idea. Initially, They appeal to your feelings to get something from you that you don’t want to give them.. For this reason, to avoid falling into their traps, it is necessary to be very attentive.

How to protect ourselves from manipulation attempts?

The best remedy to protect ourselves against manipulation is to have good self-esteem. By being sure of ourselves, It will be much more difficult for us to allow ourselves to be moved by purely emotional arguments. Thus, we will be able to distinguish when what someone asks of us makes sense and when it does not.

Furthermore, it is important to consider whether the relationship with a person is giving us something or not. If someone does us more harm than good, why should we continue talking to them? The best thing is that we are able to get rid of all those who use us without caring about our feelings.

If one of the things you hope for yourself is to be happy without hurting anyone, don’t feel bad when you slam the door on someone who is doing it to you. That’s why, If you detect that someone is trying to manipulate you, do not hesitate to distance yourself from that person..

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