“Luxurious woman”, the text that deconstructed the idea of ​​many people about the good life

“I have the feeling that my patients talk to each other before the sessions and agree on the topic to be discussed. I recently talked to many of them about luxurious women. The issue is not even self-love, but the idea of ​​allowing yourself to feel attractive, visible, and stand out,” wrote psychologist Elena Pasternak.

“Feel like a luxurious woman, buy what you never allowed yourself, and then the Universe will realize what you deserve and give you exactly what you want”. I have just quoted, in full, the advertisement for an office dedicated to women’s well-being. I see the time has come to introduce the hashtag “#BurnTheWitches”. Because all these stories they preach about allowing yourself to be different end up the day the tickets expire, because that is nothing more than a game linked to neurosis and the fear of being rejected.

“Buy luxury underwear so you feel like a real woman”🇧🇷 In fact, you won’t feel like a woman anymore, but you’ll gain some sleepless nights. No, I’m not talking about intense intimate relationships, but the remorse for having spent too much on lingerie and the planning for the financial juggling that will be necessary until the end of the month. Luxury is not about expensive lingerie, makeup, restaurants and not even high heels.

True luxury is living the way you like, comfortably. With comfortable underwear. Comfortable shoes. With whatever lipstick color you like, or even without lipstick at all. Eating the food you like, having friends with whom you feel good, being with someone out of love and not out of a sense of obligation.

Learn to let go of what you don’t need. What has already become obsolete. What is already worn out. And take care of the things you like. My friend’s 5 year old daughter loves to carry her own spoon wherever she goes. She can afford to eat with whatever spoon she likes. The mother is ashamed of this, and is all the time trying to justify herself. And I’ve started bringing my own cutlery to picnics, as I don’t like eating with plastic ones. And I don’t care what they think about it.

A life of luxury is not a matter of “you deserve it”. In fact, on the contrary: the question concerns something that deserves to be yours. A cup you gave your little sister as a gift. Her dad’s T-shirt, which is so comfortable to sleep on. A pie prepared with your mother’s recipe. A kiss from your loved one. Interesting books. Those songs. Bedding that has just been laundered. Clean house. The life you chose to live on your own.

Also, a life of luxury is about not hurting yourself when something doesn’t go as planned. Socks can tear. The dough may not rise. Friends may not be in the mood to see the same movie as you. The loved one can leave you. You might not get that promotion at work. Anything could happen. If something doesn’t go well, your value as a person is unaffected. It just means that, at that moment, not everything happens as you want.

Luxury living is having the option to choose. Sew up the torn socks or buy new ones. Throw the pie away and order sushi, or cook the recipe again. Watch a movie alone or go to a bar with friends. Let the loved one go or fight for him. Looking for a new job or redefining your goals at your current job.

To live in luxury is to live by your own rules. Pursue your goals. Don’t make excuses. Don’t be remiss. Not justifying yourself by your choices, your dreams, your interests… It’s saying “For me, this doesn’t work”. And say: “I will allow myself”.

That’s all I’d like to talk about for today. A hug.

And you, what do you do to feel like a luxurious woman? Comment and share your secrets with the other readers of the Incredible.club!