Loving another person, but not being able to leave the partner

Some think it is easier to abandon than to be abandoned. That’s not true. There are circumstances in which it becomes almost impossible to leave your partner, even when love has already been born. by a third person. These are cases in which guilt, a sense of duty or emotional debts, real or imaginary, create a fence that prevents taking the step.

The possibility of leaving your partner sometimes becomes a crossroads from which there is no way out.. One can be aware that there is no longer love. Even so, a series of factors begin to come into play that prevent reaching a firm decision to break the relationship.

This situation does not bring anything positive. If awareness is not made about this in time and appropriate measures are not taken, this is likely to lead to great confusion that affects everyone involved, and prevents closing the situation in a healthy way.

Factors that prevent leaving your partner

The blame It is the main reason why people have difficulty leaving their partner, even when they are in love with others.. This feeling is born because we do not want to harm someone who has contributed valuable elements to our life. You are aware that the breakup will hurt that person and you do not want to carry that weight.

Another common reason is doubt, which leads to decision paralysis. In this case, what happens is that you feel afraid of what may happen in the future. It is not known if, despite the fact that love is no longer felt, what is known is better and not what is yet to be known. Then insecurity prevails . “What if everything goes wrong and then I want to go back, but I can’t?”

It also happens that you want to delegate the resolution of the problem to the third party.. It is expected that it will be that “other” with whom there is already a loving bond, formal or not, who takes the trouble to pressure, insist or “do something” so that one can leave the partner. Ultimately, we want to avoid the responsibility that this decision implies.

Not leaving your partner on time…

The truly problematic thing about not making the decision to leave your partner is that this leads to unclear and unhelpful situations.. Many times what happens is that a series of unconscious actions begin to precipitate that hurt much more than a truth in time.

The main ways that this repressed decision takes are the following:

Psychological violence. Without realizing it, someone may blame their current partner for existing and not allowing them to be with that other person in whom there is already interest. Then everything the other person does or says will be described as bad. Criticism of your behavior will increase and an attitude of annoyance will appear.Lies and deception. Guilt, indecision or fear can also lead to a web of lies. You lie to your partner and you lie to your new love. This is done so as not to leave the partner abruptly, but also not to lose the other person. It’s an immature way to postpone the inevitable.Passive-aggressive strategies. These include unclear attitudes such as taking emotional distance or making indirect accusations at the partner. Annoyance is manifested, but it is not expressed clearly. The real conflict is hidden.Leaving compromising clues. It consists of “getting caught.” Leave signs of the existence of that third party and the interest there is in that person, so that the couple can find them and be the one to end the relationship.

The effects of not acting maturely

When a relationship is not ended in time, what follows is often painful for all parties.. The current couple, surely, feels or senses that breakup floating in the air. He will seek to understand everything better. But if the other does not put their cards on the table, it will cause anguish, doubts and discomfort.

In these conditions, the couple ends up not knowing what terrain they are on and will not have elements to make decisions either. This will give rise to dull suffering, baseless illusions or useless expectations. Much more damage is done with this type of psychological games than by expressing once and for all what is happening..

The third party involved is also affected. He doesn’t know if he should wait for the other person to resolve the situation, or simply not move forward.. You may also experience insecurities and mistrust, which is not the best basis for starting a new relationship.

For all of the above, not leaving your partner on time is, basically, a sign of selfishness and indolence.. You want to avoid your own discomfort, at the cost of suffering for others. In the end, you can get hurt from a situation like this. Fears, indecisions and lack of commitment to oneself often come with a high price.

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