Love yourself, you’re going to need yourself

We spend half our lives wanting to be different from what we are, compromising our emotional balance. We want to have a different body than the one we have, make up for our defects, enhance what we lack and ultimately be who we are not. This determination to fight with oneself only generates discomfort, sometimes unjustified. Life is sometimes simpler, love yourself for who you are.

With this I do not mean that we do not fight to improve, to find ourselves and to obtain what we want from ourselves, but from there to not accepting ourselves there is a line in which we find many emotional problems that we inoculate ourselves. They have taught us to value ourselves through external goals that are not affordable for the majority of the population.. Society lives in a general malaise over goals that would bring us dubious well-being and that in any case are in the future. We live much better than years ago, but we are much less happy.

For example, people who want to improve their self-concept based on their body face a curious dilemma. The majority, once they have achieved their aesthetic goal, continue not to love themselves and will continue not to do so if they do not see the background of that discomfort. Loving each other is the only way we have left if we want to leave behind a large part of our insecurity. That’s why love yourself because you’re going to need yourself.

Love yourself, if everything fails you will only have yourself

The idea that each of us has of ourselves defines our self-concept. If we are able to value our positive aspects, accepting our limitations, we will have a good personal image. While if we value ourselves only for negative aspects, we will feel uncomfortable, which will lead us to not being able to accept ourselves and hence, not loving ourselves.

Our level of self-esteem determines how we relate to each other in life. Self-esteem is independent of external things, it is rather a reflection of the satisfaction we feel with who we are. This satisfaction is more common in optimistic people, since they are able to see their qualities and accept their weaknesses. Instead, Pessimistic people filter only their most unfavorable characteristics, misaligning how they really are.
Moderate optimism can be part of that hopeful formula for healthy self-esteem. It is estimated that around 30% of optimism has a genetic load, so the remaining 70% is learned. We can increase our optimism by nurturing rewarding emotional states, encouraging positive thinking styles and not judging things that do not affect us.

We value qualities in others more because we do not have enough confidence, nor often enough patience, to see them in ourselves.. To value ourselves in a fair and beneficial way, we first have to respect ourselves, thus giving ourselves a vote of confidence.
In general, we do not value ourselves enough. Each one of us is unique in qualities, but many of us do not know how to give ourselves the proper value. If we do not value ourselves, it is not because others do not do so, but because we ourselves do not do so to a sufficient extent. Good self-esteem does not depend on the opinion that others have of us, but on the result of our personal evaluation.
When we value ourselves, our personal characteristics and the way we relate to ourselves come into play. This assessment determines that we can accept ourselves as we are and above all that we love ourselves for who we are. Valuing ourselves in an adjusted way means believing that we are capable of facing life. Love yourself, don’t forget…

Love yourself and help yourself grow

As psychologist John Mayer states, self-aware people “They are autonomous people and secure in their own borders; psychologically healthy people who tend to have a positive outlook on life; people who, when they fall into a negative mood, do not dwell on it obsessively and, consequently, do not take long to get out of it.”. To begin to love ourselves is to begin to be aware of ourselves to begin to grow.

When we embark on the path towards building healthy self-esteem, we become aware of our limitations. However, we do not transform them into obstacles or objects of punishment. On the contrary, we make learning out of them. We can ask ourselves, What can I learn from this weak point? As the psychologist Daniel Goleman defends, “Life is full of ups and downs, but we must learn to maintain balance”. So, if we love ourselves, if we become owners of our emotions, we will be helping ourselves to grow, to mature.

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