How attachment is worked on in therapy

Every person is an island dependent on other islands (people). Feeling the support of others is adaptive and necessary; Now, like everything, it needs a balance to be functional and healthy. For this reason, in certain cases, it is necessary to work on attachment in therapy.

The way we relate to others, especially during childhood, has a clear influence on who we are today: level of self-esteem, resolution of interpersonal conflicts, capacity for empathy and much more. Therefore, Working on attachment means operating, practically, with the very relationship we have with the world. But how is this treated on a therapeutic level?

Here you will find some of the techniques most used in consultation to achieve a healthy and secure attachment. Don’t miss anything, as this is a complex issue that must be handled delicately in therapy.

What is attachment?

Attachment is generated through the innate predisposition that we all have to establish ties with others. and to learn how these bonds are established thanks to the interaction that others have with us. The first manifestation of this characteristic occurs in guardian-baby interactions, since through them the bond that guarantees the care and safety of the second is created.

This first configuration of attachment will have a decisive impact on the development of the child’s brain. Through it, the world is known and logic is attributed to it, concepts are generated, relational dynamics are learned and the first silhouette of self-image is formed.. This creative nature of attachment is also capable of generating trauma and maladaptive learning.

The lack of security or emotional distance from the parents will be harmful lessons for the baby and will have an impact on the development of their emotional and social life.

The attachment bond influences children’s brain development.

Attachment disorders and their reflection in adult life

When a person receives the consistent affection and security expected from a caregiver, they will develop what is known as a secure attachment. In it, the adult will be independent, confident and feel that the world is a safe place. However, when any of the factors mentioned above are not received or are received distorted, an attachment disorder may appear such as the following:

Avoidant attachment: the adult did not see his emotional needs met in his childhood. The result is a person who learns that he cannot trust anyone and that, despite seeming indifferent to the distance from his loved ones, usually has great anxiety in relationships that prevents him from strengthening ties with others.Anxious or ambivalent attachment: The caregiver of people with this disorder responds inconsistently to the child’s needs, causing confusion. The adult is hypervigilant and dependent, because he fears that the attachment figure will disappear at any moment.disorganized attachment: It is the disorder that appears when the infant receives mistreatment from his caregivers. They live with a permanent feeling of fear, they have difficulties communicating and, in general, relating, since they have not had a model or healthy treatment in their childhood.

How to treat attachment in therapy?

Now that you know about attachment disorders, you can imagine that they manifest themselves in very different ways in each person. In addition, the age of the subject, his sociocultural status and the experiences he has had until reaching adulthood are also relevant when evaluating the case.

Below are some of the techniques used to work on attachment in therapy.

Somatic treatment

The continued stress and anxiety that accompany attachment disorders take their toll on the body.. Therefore, it is necessary to identify what these psychosomatic symptoms are and treat them along with the psychological symptoms.

environment therapy

People who have an attachment disorder have lived their childhood in a hostile environment. Therefore, part of therapy is shaping the relationship and atmosphere to make it safe and welcoming. If the patient does not feel safe in the therapy or in the relationship with the professional, it will be more difficult for him or her to comply with what was agreed upon in the intervention (adherence to treatment).

On the other hand, if what has failed in the subject’s life is the vision of the world and relationships as something safe and desirable, the first step will be to show him that this is not always the case. The best way to convince someone that you can relate to health is to create a healthy relationship.

Psychotherapy

Finally, the therapy itself will work on aspects of the person that are insufficient or negative when conceiving the world and relationships. It is a broad and long undertaking where emotional regulation, social skills and cognition of what surrounds the person are trained.

In psychological therapy, the conception of relationships and new ways of relating are usually worked on.

Based on each individual case, specific techniques vary. Let’s see some of the most used:

Parental safety circle: With this technique, parents of young children are taught to give their children freedom without neglecting their needs. It is based on giving space when the child needs it, being present when she looks for him and picking him up when she needs to get out of a situation.Mentalization: consists of working on the mental conception of the child in the caregivers’ own minds. It is about seeing the child as someone with feelings, desires and intentions so that this influences the caring behavior they exercise over him.EMDR: This is a technique used to desensitize the subject to traumatic memories from their childhood through eye movements. Although it has nothing to do with attachment itself, it has been proven effective in the treatment of trauma.

After, Depending on the adjuvant disorders that may develop, other approaches may be used.. For example, transference-focused psychotherapy may be helpful for patients with borderline personality disorder.

However, remember that the best place to start healing any psychological suffering is by consulting a therapist. Attachment is an aspect of people as old as their own lives, so professional help will be necessary to delve into it.

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