Love on the autism spectrum: beginning and development of the couple

Love is one of the themes most covered by cinema, literature, painting, sculpture… To summarize, We could say that it has its small space in all the forms of expression that we know.. However, there are very few occasions in which the particularities of this feeling and the relationships in groups that are minorities in society have been analyzed. Therefore, following in the wake of the series that recently premiered on Netflix, today we want to talk about love on the autism spectrum.

Within the autism spectrum disorders drawer, they are grouped a series of disorders that are characterized because they affect the communication and behavior of the person.

Thanks to the screening instruments we have today, these types of disorders are usually detected at very early ages, which in turn means that the intervention begins earlier and the results are better. On the other hand, the fact that they already show their presence in childhood means that they are considered developmental disorders.

Turning to fiction, perhaps one of the most emblematic characters of this spectrum is Sheldon Cooper. In practically every episode of the series, we witness the difficulties that this character has in socializing. We see how his friends, sometimes, have to make a considerable effort to accommodate his particular way of expressing what he thinks or feels. This can be a good starting point to try to anticipate some of the details that it will let us see. Love on the autism spectrum.

The first date in love on the autism spectrum

The first myth that the series demolishes, and on which it places special emphasis, is that of People with autism spectrum disorder do want to have relationships. They can enjoy solitary activities a lot, but that does not mean that they do not feel the desire to share and fall in love, that is, to share their life with someone or build intimacy.

This is perhaps the first barrier they have to break, that others are able to recognize this aspiration. In other words, love fits into their way of understanding affection. Thus, throughout the series we can learn about the story of two couples who have already taken the step of moving in together. A path that, as they say, has not been easy at all.

However, what predominates most in the series is the excitement of several people with ASD at the possibility of having a first date. In them we can see nerves that we know and insecurities that are also familiar, since they are not very different from ours. We can also be spectators of how that meeting takes place and the difficulties they have to face.

The communication

At some points in the documentary series Love on the autism spectrum We can attend some sessions in which boys and girls with this disorder prepare for these meetings.

The first point to work on is the greeting. They explain that way of receiving the other that we all have in some way internalized. Get up to receive the other or maintain eye contact during the first exchanges. A point that is also influenced for the rest of the match.

Another skill that is usually worked on with them is keeping the conversation alive.. To do this, they are encouraged to make a short list of topics and questions that they would like to ask each other.

Afterwards, they are proposed to advance to a higher level, so that the conversation goes from being an interrogation to a more real conversation where there is less chance of the other person feeling intimidated. In this way, the exchange of turns is carried out based on a single question or questions derived from an answer that have not been planned.

In all cases, The specialists try to understand the meeting and the conversation as flexible. A flexibility that they also practice to not be too direct or ask personal questions that are at a level of intimacy that they have not yet reached. We see that this is a point that is especially difficult for them.

Given this, the specialists convey an idea that they would surely have also conveyed to the rest of us on our first appointment: to have interesting conversations you also learn. That is why it is so important that people with autism spectrum disorders relate to people who not only share their interests, strangers with whom they will have to find common ground from a first contact.

The series itself is worth it. The fact that such a brave project exists already deserves that we dedicate minutes to it. Furthermore, as strong points we can highlight its sincerity: it shows us that a relationship for these people is possible, but also a goal that is not easy to achieve.

In fact, what we see is that the majority of dates do not end up coming to fruition; This allows us to witness the emotional impact this has, but also how they recover and end up giving themselves a new opportunity.

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