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It is as bad to live without any expectations as it is to do so with irrational expectations, separated from reality and not very adaptive. All this will lead us to frustration.
Both living without expectations and having unrealistic expectations do not allow us to be free. Many times, we believe that just because we want something specific, it must happen. But the reality is that whatever has to happen, is going to happen, whether we agree or not.
People often mistakenly think with the mental scheme “this should be like this.” We apply it inflexibly to ourselves, others and to life. We tell ourselves things like “my boss should treat me well,” “things should always go well for me and with little effort” or “I should do my job well because otherwise it means I’m lazy.” What have we believed? A judge? A God? Who can say what should or should not be?
When we live expecting life to work out the way we want, for things to go the way we like, or for others to treat us as we believe we deserve, we are, in reality, being slaves to what we expect.
Living with unrealistic expectations makes us Weak people on an emotional level, since we expect things to happen just as we want. In fact, in a considerable percentage of times, life is going to take a different turn than we expected and we have no choice but to accept it as calmly as possible.
If we do not train ourselves well to let go of expectations and embrace what is coming, we run the risk of suffering considerably, becoming depressed or filled with anxiety. Each person chooses what they prefer because each person is the owner of their own emotional state.
Living without irrational expectations, how do I get rid of them?
The key is found in learn the difference between what is controllable and what is not. You cannot control the thoughts or attitude of others. Nor, the circumstances of the world and life. However, I can control the way I relate. The way to think about it and deal with it.
When we try to control the uncontrollable We get frustrated because what we want will never happen. Our margin of action is reduced to the fact that we can do things the best way we know how or act as we know best. However, that does not mean that we will be rewarded, nor that everything will go according to our expectations and desires. Let’s get this absurd idea out of our minds and start accepting reality.
Think, for example, that one day someone tells you: “The sky should be apple green, just because, because I like that color and I hope that one day it will be like that.” What would you think? Surely this person has an absurd wish, which will never come true for the simple reason that it is impossible and because no matter how much I like something, it does not mean that it necessarily has to happen.
In the same way, when we harbor unrealistic expectations in our life, with our own affairs, We are imposing and demanding what it should be, when it’s not going to be and we don’t need it to be either.
You are no God
Therefore, when you notice that expectations come to your mind, and your internal dialogue contains a “should”, remember that You are no God who can change the progress of things, just a human being like any other who does the best he can but that does not mean that things will go well for him or that life will be fair.
You can also ask yourself: Who says that things must turn out well for me? Where is it written that such a person should treat me as I deserve? Can I control the behavior of another in some way? Is it useful for me to think that Is the world obliged to satisfy me and hope so?
When you find the realistic and rational answers to all these questions and Change your internal dialogue to “I would like to, but maybe that’s not the case and I don’t need it either.” or “I don’t expect little guy to give me a gift for our anniversary, although it would be fantastic if he did”, you will realize that you are much stronger and freer.
Live without unrealistic expectations
You will have detached yourself from irrational expectations, from rigidity. And you will begin to accept what the Universe has prepared for you. Sometimes you’ll like it, sometimes you won’t, but that’s what life is all about.
If everything were always rosy and the way we want, this life would have little fun. There is no joy without sadness, satisfaction without disappointment, success without failure… To feel the tingle that comes from reaching an expectation, we have to know frustration and tolerate it.
Start the positive mental change today! Write down all your expectations on paper, towards yourself, others and the world and modify them. You would like them to be fulfilled, but it is not mandatory and whatever happens you will accept and endure it. Practice a more mature and stronger internal dialogue, and you will win.
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Chande, R. H. (2001). Life expectancy and health expectations at advanced ages. Demographic and Urban Studies, 16(3), 545-560.Daros, W., & Tavella, AM (2002). Modern and postmodern values in the life expectations of young people. UCEL Notebooks Collection. University of the Center for Latin American Studies. Rosario.Ramírez, VA, Zermeño, A., & Arellano, AC (2005). Natural semantic networks: technique to represent the meanings that young people have about television, Internet and life expectations. Studies on contemporary cultures, (22), 305-334.
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