Life is different after the death of a friend

Life is no longer the same after the death of a friend. The grief we must face requires a meticulous, overwhelming and painful reconstruction process. This is because many times, that soul friend is the only being to whom we open ourselves emotionally and with whom reality was much more intense, enriching and complete.

Each loss that we are forced to face throughout our life cycle is unique and exceptional. We know, For examplethat our parents will leave us one day and that that emptiness will be devastating, but almost no one is prepared for it and even less to assume that fate, the dark side of destiny, can take a friend with whom we can put words to the craziest ideas in our minds.

Harold Ivan Smith is an author who specializes in grief and the emotional and cognitive reconstruction that any loss can entail. However, one of his best-known books is “Grieving the Death of a Friend.” As the specialist himself explains to us, Losing a friendship in a traumatic way means, for many people, having to say goodbye to the only authentic, sincere and rewarding thing in their lives.

Goodbye to a friend

We know that each of us are nothing more than brief passengers in this capricious, wonderful and, at times, terribly cruel world. Everything we took for granted can collapse like a house of cards from one day to the next. Without further ado. Sometimes it’s an accident, and sometimes it’s a terminal illness. that forces us to see how the loved one goes out day by day in a tough battle.

Having to say goodbye to a friend is something that no one prepares us for. It’s like losing half of yourself and being an orphan, moment in which we grope forward knowing that there will be no more calls, more dinners, more getaways, more coffees after work, books to share, movies to discuss and problems to vent between laughter and tears.

A fact that we must also take into account is that a part of The population that is usually most affected by the death of a friend is adolescents. According to an article published in the magazine “All Psychology Careers”, almost 40% of our young people have lost a friend.

The most complex thing about this reality is that, in general, they are very traumatic losses. We only have to take into account the high rate of suicides that are occurring among younger people, devastating events that have a strong impact on our boys and girls. Given these realities, it is necessary that we be very intuitive, receptive and skillful when it comes to offering them support to manage these situations.

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Strategies for coping with the loss of a friend

As Harold Ivan Smith explains to us, in his book “Grief for the Death of a Friend” One of the keys to gradually accepting the loss of that loved one is movement.. Far from staying still, paralyzed by the impact of that wound, it is essential to be able to cry, vent, remember, return to the places where we laughed and were happy, resume habits and integrate all those good memories while we allow ourselves to open up to the world again. .

We must also be clear that Each of us will face grief in a different way. according to their particularities. There are those who will be able to proceed to emotional relief sooner, others, however, will take a little longer and will opt for silence, out of a deeper need for solitude. Time and its needles will sew up those painful vital pieces at their own pace.

Keys to grieving a friendship

Some keys to facing the grief of a friendship are:

Recognize your damage: It is important to be fully aware of what this loss entails, to recognize that we are going to need a time of reflection to integrate what happened, to accept the emptiness, the absence… Allow your family to support you in this grief and Talk to your friend’s family in turn to remind them of what he or she was to you.. In this way, relief is facilitated.Focus your memory on the happy moments, avoid reinforcing the most traumatic moments. Let that friendship and its memory be a gift to keepto honor each day by returning to those moments of complicity and letting said person be part of you, while you return to life again.Return to your obligations but introduce new habits. Whether we want it or not, we are going to begin another different stage. We will return to our usual occupations, there is no doubt, but something that can be positive is starting other habits with which, allow us to meet more people, get excited again while we let that friendship that is already part of our being, part of our personal essence forever sleep in our hearts.

That friend of the soul is now our breath, our memory and that other half that smiles at us from a more serene place, wishing us the best.

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