Lies and falsehood, two deep wounds that are difficult to heal

Lying and falsehood destroy relationships and trust. However, as several studies reveal, this is a common practice, a behavior that always ends up being discovered.

If there is something that is truly regrettable, it is lies and falsehood. Both things are capable of destroying everything in their path, of devastating the most populated forests and of bringing down the tallest towers.

The saddest thing about hypocrisy and deception is that they never come from our enemies or from unknown people. As you might expect, all of that hurts. And a lot. When they deceive us, the worst thing is not the lies themselves, but what they take with them.

When a feeling as important as trust is broken, something inside us dies. This happens because lies and falsehood call into question a thousand truths, making us question even the experiences that we thought were the most frank.

He who tells a lie does not know what task he has assumed, because he will be forced to invent twenty more to maintain the certainty of this first one.

-Alexander Pope-

A single lie changes everything

Both lying and falsehood are, to a large extent, a matter of habit. There are many people who are skilled in this “art” and who keep us all deceived in a truly amazing way. What’s more, as the psychologist Edward de Bono points out to us, this resource is part of human behavior, it is something recurring that whether we want it or not, it must be assumed.

As we already know, habitual lying can constitute a serious psychological problem. These people usually sell smoke at any price to get their way or, what is more serious, without any other incentive than to deceive.

Other times, the lie may be “justified” as an error in action but not in intention. It is what we usually call white lies, since we consider that the truth will do more harm than lies.

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There are those who maintain that any type of lie is based on poor quality relationships, but the truth is that human beings, sometimes, are not good at valuing more colors than black and white.

In time everything is discovered

Lies and falsehoods always have an expiration date., since they need many circumstances to sustain themselves. This ends up becoming a spiral of enormous dimensions that the liar cannot handle. What’s more, studies such as the one carried out by doctors Bella DePaulo and Robert Rosenthal, from the University, show us that only the most Machiavellian personalities effectively maintain lies.

That is, as soon as a lie comes out of your mouth, you no longer control much of it. As they say in popular slang: he’ll catch a liar sooner than a lame person.

However, although it is very difficult for a lie to be sustained over time, it is very normal for us to be kept deceived. We may have many clues but Most likely, the emotional ties we maintain blind us.

Lies and falsehood, two deep wounds in the soul

Betraying the people who love you is one of the most detestable acts that a human being can carry out. It is difficult to overcome its discovery, since deception itself harbors the capacity to completely destroy our world.

A betrayed person is more than a hurt person. He is someone who has been left without a direction, who has lost his compass, who does not understand, who feels an anguishing confusion, who has to demolish his home, who does not know where to keep his feelings and who believes himself to be deeply stupid.

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He is someone who puts on a sign, who takes off his shoes and gets naked, who feels ridiculous. Someone who has to start from scratch, rebuild their walls, retrace a hard path and cover the holes. It is someone who with mortal wounds has to revive himself and does not know how.

Heal the wounds that betrayal caused

Over time It is very likely that the anger and helplessness we felt at the beginning will become a certain pity for everything that disappeared, broke or withered. It is in these moments that we can begin to heal our wounds and strongly value loyalty.

Overcoming this takes time, but to achieve it we need to forgive ourselves and stop torturing ourselves for what we thought we could have avoided, for the lies and falsehood that have surrounded us. In this way we will be able to make peace with the world and trust again.

If at any time they hurt you, if at any time lies and falsehood seemed to be the calling card of all the people around you, Don’t punish yourself by thinking that everyone is the same.Doing so would be like believing that because you won the lottery one day you will win every time you buy it.

From there, value loyalty as much as you devalue betrayal. Do not blame yourself and forgive, because dishonesty is a great opportunity to grow and choose better those around you.