Learn to say no

In life we ​​must learn to be understanding and sometimes adapt to others. Each of us has to be able to become flexible. But there are people who, for different reasons (such as lack of self-esteem and the feeling that if they do not meet the expectations of others they will not be loved), they give in so much that in the end they end up breaking. What happens to most of them is that they don’t know how to say no.

Although lending our help and being generous to others is recommended and provides us with many benefits, it also It is important to prioritize ourselves and look out for ourselves. That is to say, it is good to be flexible, but not to the point of breaking ourselves by always pleasing others and putting them above our desires.

What are the consequences of not knowing how to say no on time?

When we don’t set limits, in some way we are not respecting ourselves. It’s as if we were invisible to ourselves and other people could decide for us. In fact, our self-esteem decreases and deep feelings of inner loneliness and failure often afflict us.

Low self-esteem

By pleasing others and not doing what we really want, we feel bad about ourselves. In fact, We come to believe that we are worthless, that we have no qualities or any potential. Little by little self-esteem is diminished.

Feeling of inner loneliness

When we always do everything for others, when we are not honest with them or with ourselves about what we want and don’t want, we end up having a feeling of inner loneliness that saddens us deeply. We think that nobody really loves us for who we are but for what we do.. In fact, with our behavior we contribute to it, because how are they going to truly know us if we only dedicate ourselves to doing what others want or what we think they want?

Feeling of failure

Doing what others ask of us has a price: giving up our desires and aspirations. This leads us to continually experience a feeling of failure for what could have been but was not, due to the accumulation of broken dreams and lost illusions. Therefore, we must avoid breaking ourselves by being flexible.

How to learn to say no

Saying no is necessary to take care of ourselves and to set limits, to practice self-love and begin to value ourselves. Even if it costs us, we should not let time pass to express ourselves. The following keys can help you.

Lose your fear of criticism

No one is going to agree with everything you do or say.. Once you assimilate that, you will lose your fear of being accepted and you will feel freer. Face the fear of criticism and be yourself. Everything others tell you are just opinions.

Visualize yourself in different situations

If you know that it will be difficult for you to say no, visualize yourself in the situation in which you will soon find yourself. If you know that they are going to ask you something, ask yourself, for example, how are you going to respond? What are you going to argue? You will feel much more relaxed once you have trained what can happen. However, keep in mind that circumstances will not always happen as you imagine.

Don’t give too many explanations

You don’t need to justify yourself when you say no. Explain yourself fairly, be sincere and polite. A simple “I don’t really feel like it” is more than enough.

Many times we become overwhelmed with so many thoughts. “And now what do I say to him”, “what excuse do I make up”, “but how am I going to say no”. We begin to spin these thoughts around and around as if we were a mouse on a wheel.

However, There is no need to think so much about the subject. Give the pertinent explanations and that’s it. By dwelling on the topic too much, all you do is generate anxiety that only harms yourself.

Start loving you

When we want to please others so much and all the time, we do things that we often don’t feel like doing. Learn to love yourself, to do what you want, to not dedicate so much space to others and so little to yourself. Why do you take care of others so much and take care of yourself so little?

Don’t always be so approachable

If you always appear too accessible, you are not helping to let them see you as “the one who is always there.”. To do this, you have to reject proposals that you don’t fancy or simply let them know that you don’t have time. Sometimes it even helps to act absent-minded. Without having to say anything to others, they themselves will realize that you also know how to say no.

Learn to love yourself without needing everyone’s approval

Whoever you are and whatever you do, You must learn that not everyone is going to like you.. Once you reflect on it and install this belief in your mind, you will feel more relieved and will not give as much importance to what others say.

As a famous saying expresses, “Charity properly understood begins with oneself.” Don’t forget it, because you are the most important thing, and if you don’t love and take care of yourself, no one will do it for you.

You might be interested…