Learn to control your ego

By not taking responsibility for our ego, we act automatically, without being aware of the consequences that our actions entail. We move away from our essence, from our humanity; feeding our ego.

Our ego has the ability to influence us in all the decisions we make, and in the actions that determine our destiny. We can become slaves to our ego without realizing it…

Learning about the relationship we have with it is essential, to become aware of how it influences us, and how easy it is to fall into its domain.

What is the function of our ego?

Knowing the function that the ego has in our lives helps us identify it and take responsibility for it:

The ego is not something external to us. It represents our self, the identity with which we show ourselves to others and to ourselves. It is made up of all our experiences and learningsfor all our fears and wounds suffered.

Through our ego we defend ourselves from what we have suffered for, for which we have felt anguish and for which we have Tormented. The humiliations, the resentments, the misfortunes, the abuse; All of this has been recorded in our ego.

The ego manifests itself in us through a constant struggle to cover weaknesses. For maintaining an appearance of strength and emotional distance.

It represents our most childish behavior, the one that has not learned from mistakes, the one that has remained stuck in the past. It “protects” us in matters such as: novelty, intimacy, rapprochement, commitment and love…

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How does it harm us in our lives?

When we are not aware that our ego may have acquired control of our behavior, we see resentment, vanity, violence, possession and destruction as natural.

Our ego is the real reason we suffer, by feeding it and giving it power to rule our lives.

By not taking responsibility for our ego, we act in automatic mode, without being aware of the consequences that our actions entail. We move away from our essence, from our humanity; feeding our ego.

It ends up being inevitable to fall into unhappiness and suffering. Since the ego feeds on this very thing, on misery, on the torture of our well-being and our possibilities of entering into our happiness.

Through the ego we feel guilty for recognizing what we need, what we want. Even to the point of feeling guilty for giving ourselves over to love.

He is our most severe and at the same time most unfair internal judge. He makes us cowards in love, competitive, selfish and distrustful of others. He turns us into passive subjects from the position of victims.

Through victimhood, we associate everything that happens to us with external causes.

The cause of the discomfort is outside and not within us. We thus remove all responsibility for what happens in our lives, gloating over the damage that has been done to us. Staying stuck to our suffering and discomfort

Decreasing the influence of the ego

In order to be people who are more responsible for our lives and aware of our personal development, it is not about eliminating the ego or getting rid of it. Since the ego is part of who we are and it is something that is inevitable.

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The personal work to be done would be to reduce its influence on our lives.and above all become aware of when it is the ego that is taking possession of our thoughts and actions.

By becoming aware of when the influence of the ego appears, that is when we can master it. and decide the attitude we want to take. Thus detaching ourselves from the victim role that hooks us to suffering.

When we are able to dominate our ego we free ourselves from attitudes that generate suffering such as:

The need to be right. Feeling offended by believing that others attack us. The need to win and succeed to be the best. The need to feel superior to others. Identify ourselves with our achievements, placing our personal value in them. Desire of possession and having more.

According to Washburn, M. (1997) it is important to be aware of our ego. Work on it, observe it from the outside so that it doesn’t absorb us. In any case, we can transcend through our ego, not through it. This means that you can assert your motives and needs, but also those of others. A transcended ego does not look inward, but outward. Therefore, one gets rid of material selfishness and puts it to work at the service, not only of oneself, but of others and society itself.