Kissing phobia or filemaphobia: what does it consist of?

Philemaphobia is the fear of kissing, kissing or being kissed.. And we are not just referring to passionate kisses, which imply a high level of intimacy, for which many may not be prepared. It can also be a simple kiss on the cheek, as a greeting, or when you meet someone.

Like any specific phobia, Philemaphobia is an anxiety disorder that involves irrational fear, disproportionate and persistent, caused by an object or situation; in this case, kisses. Although the fear is recognized by the person as irrational, it escapes the control of his will.

To better understand what this phobia consists of, we will present its characteristics, symptoms and causes, as well as the most effective treatments to overcome it.

Characteristics of philemaphobia

It’s important to put attention on Philemaphobia goes beyond simple fear or nervousness that many people can experience when they go to kiss or be kissed.

For example, it is quite common to get anxious when we are going to kiss that person we like for the first time. But, in this case, we cannot speak of filemaphobia, since the feared object is not the kiss itself, but other aspects such as: starting a relationship with that person, being rejected or discovering that the other does not have the same loving intentions.

Instead, When we talk about filemaphobia, the feared object is the kiss itselfso there is a fear of kissing, being kissed and even seeing other people doing it.

That said, for this fear to be considered an anxiety disorder, the following characteristics must be met:

He fear experienced, when faced with the feared object, is disproportionate with respect to the demands of the situation. The fear that the person experiences goes beyond your willso they cannot manage the sensations of terror and fear that govern them. The individual cannot explain or reason the fear they feel in these situations, they do not find meaning in it. He knows this is irrational; Still, he can’t help it..The fear is so high that, systematically, leads the person to avoid any situation in which the action of kissing can be reproduced.Fear is maladaptive and causes relational problems.

Behind the kissing phobia there are usually other associated fears.

Symptoms of phylemaphobia

Philemaphobia presents the same symptoms as other specific phobiasthe only thing that differentiates it from the others is the stimulus that provokes it: kisses.

In this sense, The most characteristic symptom of phobias is the experience of high amounts of anxiety when exposed to the feared element.. This anxiety can manifest itself through a panic attack or a more generalized feeling of anxiety. Furthermore, the closer the person is to the feared stimulus, the worse the sensation.

Among the most characteristic anxious manifestations of filemaphobia are the following:

Physical symptoms: tachycardia, sweating, tremors, difficulty breathing, lightheadedness, dizziness, chest tightness, nausea, increased muscle tension and headaches.Psychological symptoms: intrusive thoughts where the person considers kissing to be dangerous. For example, they can transmit diseases.Behavioral manifestations: evasion of the situation due to the feared stimulus.

Related phobias

Most patients who suffer from an anxiety disorder usually have more than one specific phobia. In this case, filemaphobia is usually associated with the following:

Mysophobia

It’s about a irrational and excessive fear of becoming contaminated with germs. It leads the person to believe that, by being kissed by another, they can become infected with some disease. In this case, the individual thinks that the saliva may contain germs or bacteria that are harmful to his or her body.

Halitophobia

Philemaphobia can also be related to halitophobia. The latter consists of a excessive fear of bad breath, both in oneself and in other individuals. Obviously, this can cause an aversion to kissing.

Haphephobia

It is the irrational fear of touch. Sufferers may experience excessive amounts of anxiety when faced with any kiss, even those that take place on the cheek.

Causes of philemaphobia

There are various psychological theories that explain the origin of specific phobias. Nowadays, There may be many factors that trigger them.:

Conditioning

Cognitive behavioral theories explain the origin of phobias through classical conditioning, in which A previously neutral stimulus (such as a kiss) can be associated with aversive stimuli, to the point of ending up completely fearing them.

According to this perspective, fear is maintained due to avoidance behavior.

Educational beliefs and styles

It has also been postulated that Religious or cultural beliefs play an important role in the development of philemaphobia. Thus, educational styles and early experiences could be determining factors in the development of this type of fear.

Traumas

The experience of some trauma related to sexuality (such as suffering a sexual assault) could be another factor that explains the origin of filemaphobia.

In this sense, it is presumed that the cause of this psychological alteration is multifactorial, that is, it contains educational aspects, learning, beliefs, early experiences and personality traits.

Traumatic experiences related to sexuality or a relationship can cause kissing phobia.

Philemaphobia treatments

Fortunately, phobias can be overcome. The most effective treatment is psychological therapy. However, The therapy that has proven to be most effective in overcoming phobias is cognitive behavioral therapy.. This addresses the distorted thoughts that frighten the patient and the maladaptive behaviors, offering them the necessary tools to respond to each crisis in the best possible way.

For its part, cognitive therapy, based on mindfulness, has also proven to be effective in the treatment of anxiety disorders. Finally, in severe cases, the administration of anxiolytic drugs is recommended to relieve symptoms. However, these should always be combined with psychotherapy.

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