It is better to be alone than badly in love

Many times we are incapable of love because we are not capable of being alone. Therefore, this aversion to loneliness makes us not love in the most correct way.

In reality, no one knows if they are right or wrong in love. Love is felt with all its expansion and blind certainty, until suffering suddenly becomes that daily companion that we should never get used to… We forget that It is better to be alone than badly in love.

Many things can be written about love. We all know those famous manuals, we have read more than one self-help book signed by eminent specialists. All great gurus who seem to have the best advice for any emotional problem.

Now, why do we continue to make mistakes in many of our relationships? The truth is that no one is immune to suffering. Not even the brain, with all its knowledge, readings and experiences, has complete control over the heart.

They often repeat to us that “If you give yourself completely to that person, then you will only be able to love again in pieces.“. However, how are we to offer ourselves to the one we love if not with our entire being, with all our fullness, immensity and particularity?

Love and loneliness

The love that feels true is not offered in pieces. It is offered in an integral way, fully, because we love completely, with sincerity. Perhaps that is where the real risk appears.

In this life nothing is certain. We walk in a world that never stops flowing and changing. There where People, like feelings, are also fallible. No one can get this thing completely right about love. However, there is something that we must always be clear about…

Read Also: Why do I feel like no one cares about me?

You don’t have to be afraid of loneliness, you don’t have to see it as a bad option. Sometimes being alone is the best way to be in union with ourselves. It is the catharsis to those bad loves from which we must know how to free ourselves. Because sometimes, it is better to be alone than badly in love…

Those bad loves, those illogical loves that make us prisoners

There are wise loves, full loves that enrich us and make our lives more complete and edifying. They are those relationships where both members respect their spaces, where individual growth is possible and, in turn, that of the couple themselves.

More than one may wonder… but do these types of relationships really exist? Of course. That search may take you half your life, or you may have the right person close to you but you haven’t seen them yet. Nevertheless, We all have our moment, the one that we have to know how to see with open heart and awake mind.

Then, why not say itThere are also those people who throughout their lives have experienced one failure after another. It is as if instead of removing stones from the path they had stored them in their backpack, where it is also impossible to move forward, to grow…

What makes us sometimes have to live such harmful and illogical loves? The truth is that there are many, many explanations in this regard and although they may all be known to us, this does not prevent us from falling into them on more than one occasion.

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Because that’s, Love sometimes blinds us and drags us down. It doesn’t matter what the people around us tell us. Our reality is ours and we let ourselves go, until a moment comes when, indeed, we open our eyes… Let’s now see what these events are due to.

Need to be recognized

Suddenly, someone appears who recognizes our words, who is kind and who is interested in what we do, what we say. We are overnight that center in the life of another person who is not us, and that makes us feel good. Generally, People with low self-esteem are those who allow themselves to be carried away by relationships where the need to be recognized is nourished, sometimes so destructive.

We all have some shortcomings, and the simple fact of having someone who initially fills those voids and smoothes our corners, alleviating our fears, is something that comforts us. However, most of the time it is nothing more than a false illusion. In the long term, these harmful loves create more spaces, more voids and more splinters.

Fear of being alone

It may surprise you, but the statement in this article would not apply to a large number of people. Some people does not “conceive” of being alone . There are people who see loneliness as a vital failure and, in turn, a shame in the face of society itself.

And for this they will endure and swallow whatever it takes. Relationships, even if they are destructive and violate your rights as a person, are in turn a much more manageable comfort zone than what is behind that line of “security” (or destruction).

Read Also: The 5 types of avoidance you have ever experienced

Those old stereotypes when it comes to being alone…

According to Hall, R., Hennegan, A., & Conill, M. (2003), this aspect may also surprise more than one. But today there are still those who assume debatable ideas. For example, in love, if you don’t suffer you don’t truly love. Or that love is giving in to make the other person happy. In this life, the one who endures the most, the one who suffers the most, is stronger.

We should banish many of those ideas labeled by romantic love, where those traditional roles of submission and domination are implicit.where the one who loves the most is the one who shows the most jealousy… We must be careful with these concepts that are still very present in our society.

It is often said that a love always appears so strong in life that it will destroy us and then make us love in pieces. Don’t be so dramatic, put your pieces back together. Join them one by one and without losing any to love again with optimism, always starting with yourself.