Intrusive thoughts and anxiety: How to deal with them?

“I should know what to do, but right now I find myself unable to react.” “Every time I tell her something for the better, she interprets it wrong and there is no way to fix it.” “There is no way out of my problem, it is impossible.” These are all intrusive thoughts. Who hasn’t had them on some occasion?

They are phrases, ideas and even images that appear in the lock of our minds almost without us realizing it. They are persistent and cause us great discomfort. They hurt, and they leave us exposed almost without compassion. They tell us about how vulnerable we are, about our failures. Of our weaknesses.

It doesn’t matter whether these thoughts have a real basis or not, little by little they transform into a dangerous obsession that fills us with more and more negative emotions. Making us fall into a very dangerous loop. From a temporary state of anxiety we can easily lead to an obsession. How to deal with these types of thoughts? Let’s see it.

Thinking a lot exhausts

First we must understand this idea well. Thinking is not bad, quite the opposite. The risk begins when we think about the same things, thereby fueling negative emotions even more. These thoughts that come to us over and over again are called ruminations.

An example. You have made a mistake about something, you have unintentionally offended a person you appreciate. It doesn’t leave your mind and you don’t stop thinking about it day after day, moment after moment. What’s the point of something like that? The ideal is to talk to that person, you have to face the problem and turn the page.

Be careful with denials

A high risk that we tend to fall into with these intrusive thoughts is almost always using the word “no.”. “I can’t”, “I’m not going to be able to get over this”, “they’re never going to forgive me”, “I’m not going to be able to get it”. These types of thoughts are not completely and absolutely destructive.

Far from providing us with a solution and relaxing us, it makes us fall into an abyss with no way out. How about we do a reverse exercise? What if we construct somewhat more creative thoughts capable of giving us some satisfaction?

Creativity is important and In the same way that we use “no” for a thought, we can use more real concepts. For example, instead of telling ourselves “I’m always bad,” we can replace it with “sometimes I’m bad, but I also have my good moments.”

Replacing intrusive negative thoughts with more realistic ones is part of what is known as Cognitive Restructuring (CR). For Bados and García (2010), CR consists of the client, with the initial help of the therapist, identifying and questioning their maladaptive thoughts, so that they are replaced by more appropriate ones. and thus reduce or eliminate the emotional and/or behavioral disturbance caused by the first.

Some techniques to free yourself from intrusive thoughts

If you notice that you are having too many intrusive thoughts, stop. Take air. Stop this vicious circle and become aware that this is not doing you any good. Here are some steps to achieve it:

Stop identifying with those ideas and walk away. Needss solutions, no more problems. And those thoughts do nothing but build walls around you. Process the ideas. It may be useful to write them down or discuss them with someone to see them from another perspective and become aware of their intrusive nature. Breathe. Now look at all those ideas as if you were an outside observer. What benefit does it give you to think about those same aspects over and over again? It is like a harmful boomerang that returns tirelessly with more violence towards you. Take it with your hand and stop it. It is time to find new strategies that provide solutions to these problems., to those negative thoughts. Understand that the past no longer exists, that it is no longer there. He understands that what matters is the here and now. That dimension in which you deserve to live in peace and balance.

Mindfulness is an ideal technique to focus attention on a single stimulus (for example, breathing) and stop paying attention to what causes us discomfort. In this way we reduce the negative emotions that negative thoughts cause us and we become less reactive..

Accept mistakes, assume what happened and sow new illusions in your present. In a short time, new projects will germinate where your horizon will be clear. Where you can breathe again, proud of yourself. It’s worth it.

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Image courtesy: A. Steibeck