Intense emotions are the most difficult to understand

There is a popular belief, and it is that the more painful, sharp and uncomfortable an emotion is, the easier it is to name it. How can I not know that what I feel is anger, anger, anger or sadness? The truth is Intense emotions are the most difficult to understand, the ones that get us the most stuck and they tend to internalize to shape problematic psychological states.

We could say that among all the skills that we should develop to mediate our well-being, such as self-esteem or self-knowledge, emotional management is key. However, It is very common to reach adulthood and go through this poor management of psychophysical states.. This causes us to end up acting inappropriately, like three-year-old children frustrated with the world and life itself.

The activation generated by certain emotions experienced at high intensity can be something really complex. Know how to understand, manage and managing these states will undoubtedly mediate our well-being and our satisfaction..

Why are intense emotions the most difficult to understand?

Painful, contradictory, explosive, unexpected and even terrifying. Emotions define us, make us human and determine our behaviors. There is nothing wrong with experiencing anger, fear, anguish, sadness or despair. The truly dangerous thing is to let ourselves be carried away by these emotional states.

Therefore, for fear of acting in an unfortunate way, What we often do is repress the emotion felt. We carry it out like someone swallowing a stone, quickly and forcefully, without thinking. So in the end we end up feeling that pain in the stomach, that inexplicable weight, that discomfort that becomes somatized and slows down life.

The most curious thing about all this is that intense emotions are the most difficult to understand, name and manage.. Let’s take an example. We are talking to our partner and suddenly that dialogue ends in an argument until at one point we tell the other person that it is better to leave it for another moment because we only feel like screaming.

Many sensations that we cannot define intermingle inside us. The emotions are so deep and stark that we only feel the impulse to lock ourselves in our room and rest. Why is it so hard to put into words what we feel?

The psychophysiological intensity I can’t think clearly!

When we get hit on the arm it is easy to understand why that area hurts. However, after that discussion with our partner, it may be difficult to explain in detail what specifically hurts, bothers and worries. It’s everything at once. It is a complex tangle of sensations that is very difficult to describe and identify.

Natalie Holzt, a psychologist at the Max Planck Institute, is the author of a study that attempts to unravel why intense emotions are the most difficult to understand.

First of all, The greater the psychophysiological intensity, the more ambiguity the brain feels to know what is happening to us.. Is she rage? Is it sadness? Is it anxiety? In the midst of these states the mind cannot think clearly. The greater the emotional intensity, the greater the difficulty in reflecting. As Dr. Holtz herself points out:

Intense emotions and emotional overflow: I feel overwhelmed!

Intense emotions are the most difficult to understand because They often also lead us to emotional overflow. What does the latter mean? What does it consist of? These situations occur when self-regulation fails, when we cannot control a specific reaction. Suddenly, we feel overcome by contradiction, anguish, sadness, disappointment, anxiety…

We cannot contain any of these realities and suddenly we are gripped by an endless number of emotions of mostly negative valence. This often occurs in very specific and specific situations (such as the discussion noted above). Also, It appears when a series of stressful experiences accumulate over time that ultimately overwhelm us..

What can we do when we experience very intense emotions?

There are personalities with a greater tendency to react or process reality more intensely. This makes blockages, overflows, feeling trapped and not knowing how to act in a specific situation common. In addition, Not being able to clearly express what is happening to them further complicates this type of psychological reality..

What to do, therefore, in these situations? We analyze it.

How to act when I feel dominated by that intensity

Controlling emotional intensity requires two strategies: awareness and emotional regulation. However, to reach them it is necessary, first of all, to reduce this psychophysical hyperactivation induced by the sympathetic system. It’s about calming the body first, to be able to work on the mind later.

Stop, rest, find a quiet place and try to relax. Practicing deep breathing can help you. Next, It is necessary to give space and presence to each emotion felt. Once the physical tension has been reduced, it is time to know what is happening in our mind. We will try to observe what happens in it like someone looking at a movie screen, without judging, without sanctioning, letting every sensation, feeling and emotion make an appearance. Let’s understand What message do those emotions want to give us? Let us understand if they demand changes from us, if they want us to pay attention to neglected realities.

Emotional regulation is a learning that requires time, but is always based on giving space to every emotion felt, with compassion and respect. Transforming them towards positivity, trying not to get carried away by them, is the key.

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