Hypocrisy: do you really know what it is?

We don’t like hypocrisy. It is a behavior that is usually related to lying: the person manifests an incoherence in his actions that for our mind is like the squeaking of chalk on the blackboard.

What is hypocrisy?

Etymologically, the word hypocrisy comes from the Greek ὑποκρισία (hypokrisía), composed of hypo and crites, so it literally means ‘respond with a mask’. In this way, the word itself already indicates that it is about hiding a part of oneself.

Hypocritical behavior can be defined as that in the person demonstrates an incongruence between their actions or between their actions and their words. It is considered one of the forms that lying takes, since this incongruence is related to showing an image of oneself that is not the real one.

It is important not to confuse hypocrisy with having different behaviors depending on the context or specific needs. No one is able to always align what they express verbally with what they express with other types of behavior: people change due to many factors, adopt different roles depending on where or who they are with, or may need to adjust their behavior to an event. certain. What characterizes hypocrisy is the creation of a false image of oneself.

The four types of hypocrisy

Why would a person want to hide their true personality? If you look back, you’ll probably find some example of someone who has built a veritable cathedral of traits and behaviors that, when you look closer, are floating in the air.

Inconsistency: Feeling strange in a certain environment – like a job, for example – can lead to the need to create a mask to integrate into said environment.Blame: When one’s personality is not in line with the ideas, and these are also rigid, many times the escape route is to create a false image that does coincide with the ideology. This is usually accentuated when others are also criticized for not following the ideas that are preached.Claim: On this occasion, pretending to be something you are not has a purpose, usually a personal benefit. A current example is the selection of certain groups as the objective of electoral campaigns solely for the search for votes.Complacency: Low self-esteem or the need for acceptance from someone close can also lead to the creation of a false image. There are many examples of this and there is a long debate when we enter social networks, where creating a mask is almost an obligation.

As you have seen, the central axis of hypocrisy is incongruence, although group needs, such as acceptance or self-esteem, also play a fundamental role. In fact, you can also be hypocritical with yourself as a way to hide cognitive dissonances or as a defense mechanism to avoid facing them.

The problem of normalization of lying

The need for lies in group dynamics is something that has already been well studied. A distinction is established between the “white lie”, whose objective is to avoid conflict or not cause harm to others, and the toxic lie, with which one seeks one’s own benefit and the detriment of others. However, When the probability of having a conflict is perceived to be high, lies tend to be overlooked.

The usefulness of forgiving these lies to avoid uncomfortable moments leads to their normalization. Honesty, by contrast, then becomes a trigger for those situations that they want to avoid. In this way, many people find in hypocrisy a way to not be judged and feel integrated.

What to do then? When hypocrites are a plague in our lives, perhaps the most productive process is to try to normalize honesty. Approaching uncomfortable situations with a repertoire of mental resources that allow you to settle differences comfortably is a great motivation to avoid having to pretend to be someone you are not.

Introspection and emotional openness are always a difficult path, but also a good way to create a healthy and strong relationship culture for everyone.

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