In a relationship, when is it too soon to say “I love you”?

You have met a new person with whom you feel you fit in perfectly. Thinking about her makes you smile, spending time with her is very pleasant and you feel the desire to tell her how much she means to you growing inside you. However, you may be wondering if it’s too early to say “I love you.”

Regarding this issue, there are no dogmas or protocols. Each person is different, just as each bond is. However, saying these two words marks a before and after in the relationship, whether for better or worse. Therefore, it is advisable not to rush and choose the right moment based on certain factors that we discuss below.

What does it mean to say “I love you”?

We are not all the same regarding emotional expression. For some it is easy to express and show affection, while others are more cautious when doing so; However, the truth is that this It is an essential component in the evolution of ties.

When the other person tells us “I love you” helps us reduce uncertainty and understand how the relationship is progressing in your eyes. It is a sign that everything is going well, that you find positive potential in the union and want to continue moving forward. It is the same thing that you will perceive if we are the ones who pronounce those words.

Nevertheless, Depending on the moment chosen, these can feel like an attempt at manipulation or an act of pressure. And on many occasions they speak out with the idea of ​​obtaining a sexual benefit in this regard.

On the other hand, if we take too long to express what we feel, the budding relationship may suffer. The partner may feel confused and unappreciated, and understand that we are not interested or willing to commit.

It’s about finding a balance; of knowing how to declare our affection at the right moment. But what is that moment?

When is it too soon to say “I love you”?

The main key that you should consider in this regard is that It is too early to say “I love you” when the feeling is not genuine.. That is, when it is motivated by ulterior motives, social pressure or one’s own emotional lack.

On many occasions, people venture to express these words after just a few days of having met the other; even without having seen him in person and having only exchanged a few messages by phone. In this situations an inner desire to feel loved is being projected onto the other, a longing to be in a relationship; Thus, you don’t really want the other person (the one you are idealizing), but rather what you think they can represent.

Besides, it is common confusing the feeling of love with other very common feelings at the beginning of a relationship, such as excitement, connection or chemistry. When you feel like you fit in with someone, like their personality or appearance, or like their company, you may be tempted to say “I love you,” but this feeling will not be real until you meet the other person.

In this case, it is possible that we really like the other person a lot, arouse our admiration or interest; However, it is prudent to give ourselves some time to discover all its facets, share moments and let that possible feeling grow and develop.

A reasonable time

We all know that love goes through different phases and that falling in love (the first of them) is the most unstable. In this initial period we are flooded with neurotransmitters that make us feel euphoria, passion, desire and pleasure when being with each other; Thus, it might seem that this stage of “alienation” is not the most appropriate to declare love.

However, Most people consider between one and three months a reasonable time to make such statements.. In other cases, this can last up to six months. However, from this point on, if the desire to say “I love you” has not arisen, we could consider that something is wrong.

It is evident that in a few months it is not possible to fully know a person, but if we use this time wisely we can get a fairly accurate idea of ​​their values, projects and priorities, their personality and how opposite or complementary they are to us.

So, before saying these important words, make sure you are in line with this feeling. If you feel like you tend to rush, perhaps you should consider whether you are an emotionally dependent person. or who fears loneliness. In which case, professional support from a psychologist could be of great help to learn to bond more healthily with yourself and with others.

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