I’m a born romantic

It’s almost two in the morning and I can’t sleep.

Who do I want to deceive?
I’m a born romantic!
I don’t know how to live without love, I don’t know how to live without loving.

Suddenly there was a void bringing fear, and then the tears came down, and all those feelings kept in the corner of the subconscious came to the surface.

I felt such an emptiness that it became painful, turned into crying and despair. It was as if everything I had lived through so far, as if all relationships had been a sham.

empty words.
Played in the wind.
Words that deceive.

It’s like no one loved me.
Has anyone ever loved me?
Will anyone love me?
And if you love me, will you stay this time?

So many people have come into my life who have said “I love you” and simply left without even looking back.
People I never imagined going a day without talking, however, today I have no news.

It’s a frustrating feeling.

Sometimes I feel free, I feel myself and I know exactly who I am. But there are times, like now, when I feel only half of me, when I feel like I’ve been incomplete all this time, and I just want to try to pick up my pieces and fool myself.

I’ve always wanted a movie love, a love that no matter what happens, that no matter how many times the world goes or how many years pass or even what other families have been built, I always wanted to believe that what is mine, will arrive.

But especially today, I don’t know what to believe.

I don’t know if you left forever and came back to what’s yours or if you’re just growing up so you can, one day, be mine.
I’ve always looked for you, without even knowing who you are, but if I find you, will I know who you are?

I just wish we had a chance…

Grazielle Vieira