10 Warnings You Could Be In A Toxic Relationship And What To Do To Get Out Of It

It’s hard for a person to realize they’re trapped in a toxic relationship because most of the time those relationships don’t start out toxic. Usually the relationship starts like any other passion: with the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, fun and irresistible desire to be together. But when emotions calm down, it is possible to realize that we are falling into the toxic abyss of a story that should not continue. So it might be a good idea to know what the first signs of such a union are.

O awesome.club brings some warning signs that can help you identify a toxic relationship and even shares what steps you can take if you want to fix the problem.

We start to notice that something is wrong, that something just doesn’t fit in the relationship, but we deny our intuition every time that thought comes to our mind. We convince ourselves that we must be imagining things, exaggerating, and that it’s okay.

However, our intuition is very likely to be right, as this is a form of subconscious intelligence that records and analyzes every detail we perceive to tell us whether something is going well or not.

Denying your intuition becomes easier if your partner induces you to do so. Psychologists call this attitude disqualification, that is, it is a way to manipulate and make us doubt our reason and common sense. If, for example, we ask our partner to explain why they went to lunch with a friend without telling us, it will turn the tables to accuse us of being jealous or suspicious, because “it’s just a childhood friend”. That way, we’ll end up defending ourselves against her accusations and thinking that maybe we’re being a little paranoid.

If there is anyone with whom we should feel free to be ourselves, that person is our partner. He or she should be with us because he or she likes and loves us the way we are. But that doesn’t happen in a toxic relationship. A warning sign is feeling like we can’t be ourselves because the other person is constantly judging us, saying we’re not good enough, encouraging us to be someone we’re not.

The situation makes them always the center of attention in the relationship because they start to take into account how many times they have done something for us. They remember all the times they made us happy to use that as an ace up our sleeve to pressure us to say “yes” in situations we least expect.

We begin to think carefully about what we are going to say and do in his presence so that we don’t get a look of disgust, sarcasm, or offensive behavior. An abusive person is unpredictable; that’s why we end up monitoring our lives frequently, walking on tiptoe and juggling so as not to disturb the other.

It’s very difficult to get out of a toxic relationship because often the person doesn’t realize they’re in it. We tend to imagine that, in this type of union, all encounters are abrupt, sad and even dangerous. But sometimes, the abuser uses the tactic of treating his partner as if he were a member of royalty, especially at the beginning of the relationship.

With that, people like that can catch us in their nets. Only, when showing their abusive behavior, we remember how “good and loving” they are and we stay in the plot for much longer. But this dynamic is emotionally draining and unstable, as one day we are on a pedestal and the next day we are criticized non-stop.

An abusive relationship is nothing more than an attempt to control one person by another. So the guy needs to strip us of our entire support system so we don’t have anyone to turn to or trust when things get ugly.

If you’ve come to avoid going to family lunches, having coffee with mom, or if your partner has asked you to cancel an outing with friends, stay alert. When the blame for the distance from family and friends is the partner or partner, it can be a plan so that no one else can have influence over your life.

Those days when he arrived punctually, left a note on the mirror or covered us with a blanket if we were cold seem to be over. It is clear that our partner is not trying hard to make things go smoothly between the two of them or working on future plans that include us. At times, it even seems like the person is doing it deliberately. If this is the case, red alert.

A couple in a healthy relationship often celebrate their successes, such as promotions at work, good grades, or lucky breaks. It is to be expected that one will rejoice because the other is getting closer and closer to success.

But the exact opposite happens in a toxic relationship. Our partner may feel jealous, want to diminish our achievements, big or small, make us feel guilty about them or even unhappy for having achieved them. In a nutshell, our success upsets the other.

The level of emotional investment we give to the partner is very high. To that emotional investment, we must add all the money and time we set aside for us to flourish as a relationship. However, our “better half” does not value this delivery and does not respond in the same way. It seems that we carry all the weight of the relationship without gaining anything for it and without having control over it.

It is possible that the toxicity of the relationship is due to a bad moment or an illness of your partner. If that’s the case, it would be a good idea to talk and explain what’s not working and propose making an appointment with a therapist. But if the situation was not generated by an external factor and the abusive behavior patterns continue, the healthier thing may be to end the relationship.

People need a network of trust to get support in difficult times and not look back. If we decide to end the relationship, seeking help from friends, parents, siblings, and other loved ones who are aware of the situation will provide us with a safe haven to start over.

Sometimes an abusive person controls another because their partner is financially dependent on them. Saving a sum of money, regardless of how much, can provide us with an economic breather to take back our life’s reins.

If the relationship is already over, continued conversations will only prolong the healing process and jeopardize any progress toward personal independence. If it is impossible to cut off communication altogether, in the case, for example, of the couple having children or sharing major responsibilities, it is recommended to keep only the essential exchanges of messages.

Sharing time with the family, having fun with something hobby and exercising are ways to regain the self-esteem we used to have and increase our confidence.

What do you think are the more subtle signs of a toxic relationship? What advice would you give to people who are going through this situation?