If you think you are worthless, you will end up with someone who confirms it for you.

When one despises oneself, the likelihood of seeking acceptance from others and ending up in toxic relationships increases.

If you think you are worthless, you will be worthless to the world.. If in front of your mirror you see nothing more than a blur lacking drive, charisma and beauty, sooner or later someone will arrive to confirm it for you, someone who, furthermore, will not hesitate to be above you to put their needs before yours. Let’s avoid it, let’s work the muscle of self-esteem to have a more dignified, skillful and satisfying life.

We have all, in some way, gone through a time that tastes of discouragement. Days where that critical and ruthless voice that hides in our depths resonates to emerge when we least need it. They are moments where everything is bitter, where we only listen to the sonata of negativity and we go through the world with the most dangerous version of ourselves: the one that has lost all its defenses, the one that advances barren, empty of self-love.

“If you think you are worthless, remember that you are always with yourself, so you better enjoy the company and do something about it.”

-Diane Von Furstenberg-

Living moments like this is normal. We say that it falls within normality as long as that day of emotional darkness clears up on its own in a short time. Something brief from which to emerge stronger, optimistic, brave. Now, if this state persists over time we will run a high risk. Because Those who do not feel valuable will look for someone to do it for them, far from being the most appropriate strategy in all these cases.. Because whoever doesn’t love themselves, walks barefoot and is vulnerable to everything.

If you think you are worthless you lose everything

If you think you are worthless, you lose everything. What one day you achieved and even what you once dreamed of achieving. Because low self-esteem or lack of self-love destroy identities, weaken self-concepts and exterminate one’s own values to put them at the service of others.

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Thus, leading to that cycle of destructive thoughts where ideas such as “I’m not smart, I’m not talented, I’m not attractive or I will never be successful in this life.” It leads us to a debilitating state that reverberates in our body and mind.

If we ask ourselves now why we went to such extremes, it must be said that the answer is not at all simple. There are those who see these states as a direct result of one’s own upbringing. Of that distant attachment that did not know how to cover our emotional needs at a given moment.

On the other hand, evolutionary psychologists have another no less interesting opinion that is worth considering. That critical voice that appears from time to time in our conscience to “crunch us” is an adaptive mechanism, a survival system that alerts us that there is something wrong and that we must change.

That critical voice, far from being purely malevolent, actually has good intentions. The problem, of course, is that we do not understand its purpose.

On the other hand, we must also take into account another aspect. What that inner voice, that self-awareness, lets us know is the reality of a certain emotional state. However, We are the ones who put words to that negative emotion: “I am not worthy, I do not deserve, I am not, I do not have.”

Don’t believe everything you think, believe everything you feel and try to understand it.

If I think I’m worthless, what can I do?

If you believe that you are worthless, it is because there are unmet needs within you that to a large extent only you can respond to. Otherwise, it will be easy for us to fall into those dependent and painful relationships, where the other person will not only confirm to us that “we are worthless”, but will insist that we should continue as we are. Stuck in vulnerability, subject to that low self-esteem where they beg for love from the bad, where they accept the remnants of an unhealthy love.

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Instead of focusing on the idea that we are not good enough for this or that, what we need to do is ask why. Instead of attending to thoughts, let’s attend to emotions. Because one’s thoughts sometimes have lies and boycotts printed on them, but emotions do not deceive and you have to know how to understand them, decipher them.

To achieve this, let’s reflect on these keys, on these steps that can help us:

Explore your emotions. What do I feel? Is it anger, is it sadness, is it disappointment? Am I angry with something, maybe with me?Talk to your inner critic. What do you want of me? What do you need? Why do you attack me? What goal or purpose are you looking for?Identify your needs and establish connection with them. This is a great advance, a great internal triumph: when you know what you specifically need, everything will change. You will have a clear objective, a motivation.Meet what you need. This last step requires action, daring, will, decision. We will do it for ourselves, without depending on anyone, because the act of growing is a dynamic that only concerns us.

Thus, it is not worth leaving for tomorrow the discouragement that I feel today. It’s not worth waiting for others to tell me that. “But, you are worth a lot!” These key points can help us, but they will be of no use if we do not add a dose of self-esteem to understand that that turn, that direction towards healing and self-love implies courage . Let’s make use of it every day.