How to stop being a victim

Playing the victim is a fairly common way that people use to manage anger and anger.. This creates very harmful negative feelings. The good news is that it is possible to take certain steps to stop being a victim and take control.

Many people involuntarily adopt the role of victim. because they are afraid of their own anger and even deny its existence, and anticipate the harm it would cause them. With this expectation in mind and a high sensitivity to anger in others, they can distort the expressions or attitudes of others, coming to think that they have other intentions than what they really have.

Other people play this type of role because it is much easier for them than to take responsibility for the situations they are experiencing. In this way, they do not take the reins of their lives and let destiny or luck be the ones to direct them.

Thus, the anger they would have experienced in response to frustration or stress is transformed into fear and distrust of others and feelings of having been hurt.

Fortunately, There are ways to change the victim position. A posture characterized by a passive attitude and behavior based on negative power. A strong position that is identified by active coping and personal power, where destructive thoughts appear that promote victim feelings.

It is on these types of feelings that we are going to focus, as they will give us way to a way of acting that allows us to take the necessary measures to develop more constructive approaches to dealing with anger.

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Constructive Approaches to Managing Anger

Anger is a simple, irrational emotional response to frustration that requires no justification. The degree of anger is proportional to the degree of frustration. When people try to rationalize their anger, they feel like victims of the situation and get stuck in those angry feelings and adopt an attitude that distances them from others.

In this sense, it is necessary to stop using certain words that help justify anger, such as “just”, “should”, “right” or “wrong”. When these words are used to justify anger, they make the person attach themselves to their feelings of frustration because they understand that someone is obligated to satisfy their needs (this should be so and you should have done this, I have the right to… and someone should respond for this reason, etc.).

By challenging these habitual ways of speaking, people can discover a different way of communicating. in which you take full responsibility for your feelings and actions and are free to explore alternatives.

“Destroy the complaint of “I have been damaged” and the damage remains destroyed.”

-Marcus Aurelius-

Taking action to change the situations with which you are unhappy is just the opposite of being a victim, because you have the opportunity to do something to change it, since you do not recognize the responsibility of anything or anyone.

Recognizing anger as a fundamental part of one’s nature and knowing how to identify it makes the person able to choose their way of expressing their anger and making this expression more constructive, ethical and balanced with their interests and goals.

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Being a victim is a matter of perspective

Being a victim is a matter of perspective. As we have seen previously, recognizing anger is essential to begin a process of ending it. Although we believe that we feel sorry for the situation, that we are sad, in reality we are angry.

We are frustrated by the idea of circumstances getting out of control and we can’t do anything about it.. It bothers us that nothing goes as planned. However, adopting the role of being a victim is much easier than facing the situation and facing it bravely.