I was betrayed, now what?

THE betrayal it is one of the great reasons that lead women and, mainly, couples to psychological consultations. The causes of extramarital relationship are numerous, but the main one is the crisis in marriage. Therefore, the woman often blames herself, either because she no longer feels attractive or because she did not pay the necessary attention to her husband.

The truth is that marriage (dating, engagement, friendship, etc.) is built by two people, so both should look after the well-being of the relationship, so blaming yourself is a mistake, because we will never reach the perfection of being super wives, super moms, super daughters and so on. The person next to us must accept us in this way or seek help (therapy) so that together they can develop a better relationship.

so we can say that betrayal is no excuse, is a sign of lack of commitment to the relationship. Keeping a good dialogue about the desires and frustrations of the relationship is an important tip for maintaining long relationships, it will certainly not prevent extramarital affairs, but it will certainly help.

But when there was betrayal, the case is much more complicated. In addition to the pain, there is a breakdown of trust, nothing that the person says from that moment on will have value. Therefore, the decision whether or not to maintain the relationship must be very well thought out. Many couples decide to keep the relationship, but all the time the theme of betrayal comes up, making the relationship torture for the one who betrayed and suffering for the one who was betrayed.

I’ve seen many women not separate so they don’t let their husbands go looking for “the other”, as if this were a dispute of who can do more, and not who loves each other more to the point of giving up a relationship in favor of self-love. and of happiness.

Starting over a life alone and full of insecurities after a betrayal it’s not easy either. Certainly, every decision entails losses and gains, which must be compared with our dreams and desires. Therefore, in the face of betrayal, the first step is to get rid of guilt, so that there is enough tranquility to reflect, talk and think about choices, starting from the principle of self-love and the possibility of being happy as many times as we want.