I grew up a long time ago and I’m not part of your group of indecisive little girls who love to live on the edge of indecision

I’ve been stuck for a long time.
trapped in a big PERHAPS.
Caught in the uncertainty that was you in my life and the uncertainties you brought with you.

“Maybe we’ll stay at the house one of these days.
– Maybe I’ll love you.
“Maybe I’ll introduce you to my family and friends.

While you arrived full of “maybe”, my sentences were all positive and affirmative.
I wanted you with my family, I was sure I loved you, even though you didn’t show the same and I was proud to introduce you to my friends, so we could go out together.
Worst of all, worse than their “maybes” even where we would have dinner, because we couldn’t be seen by their people, was that I let myself live within the bars of their indecision.

People didn’t understand how I, the most determined woman they knew, had fallen for it.
And to be honest, I didn’t even understand.
Today, looking at it all from the outside, I don’t know how I was able to wait three days for a reply message, to say the least of everything you’ve done.

But perhaps the biggest thing of all is that it wasn’t even your fault.
You were just a boy, immature and too spoiled for a woman with a lot of determination and determination, like me.
It was my mistake to think that I would be able to transform his various “maybes” into great certainties.
I was also wrong to imagine that I could turn the little boy into a man, when all you wanted was to go from being a little boy to the cool big guy of the crowd, never taking responsibilities and dodging big decisions.
Until I realized this, I was trapped and locked away in their indecisions.
Or the childish decisions that only hurt me.

Now I’m free.
Free from you and anyone else who arrives with proposals for PERHAPS.
I got tired of prison.
I’m not the maybe type of woman.

I grew up a long time ago and I’m not part of your group of indecisive little girls who love to live on the edge of indecision.

Grazielle Vieira