Answering these questions will tell you everything you need to know!

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a long time or just started dating in the last month, we all face times when we feel the need to take a step back and reevaluate our love life.

Sometimes a partner seems “perfect” at first, in terms of your similar interests or circle of friends, but as things progress, the daily behavior and interactions between you just don’t make your heart beat any faster.

What’s happening? Is there anything I can do to find out what’s wrong?

Yes, there is, and it’s free and very easy to do. Create a list of positives vs. negative, can help you clarify what is working and what is not working in your relationship.

See too: “It doesn’t matter to me, you choose”. This kind of attitude can destroy your relationship!

Of course, all relationships require some degree of commitment, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for being unhappy most of the time!

In the case of the woman whose inventory is shown below, she had been dating someone for three months and her first sexual relationship with that person was after seven dates.

She saw him twice more after that, before she looked for help, because she was feeling confused and conflicted about becoming his girlfriend.

Deep down, she knew he wasn’t right for her, but at the same time, she didn’t want to be alone.

You can use the example below to create your relationship test that you created it with in two simple steps.

Read Also: What does it really mean to be the "right person"?

Part 1:

Make two columns. First, list each of the strengths that you can remember about your partner. In the second, list all the spots negative.

See the example below that has already been filled in:

(Note: remember that these were a woman’s specific preferences. What you find positive or negative will correspond to your personal preferences.)

Strengths:

1. He is a friend.

two. He is kind.

3. He’s honest.

4. He has a good job.

5. He is financially stable.

6. He is smart

7. He’s romantic.

8. He has a good sense of humor.

9. He has no ex-wife or children.

10. He always says good morning when he wakes up.

Negative points:

1. We live very far.

two. He has a lot of health problems.

3. He has almost no friends.

4. He’s going to sleep a lot later than I’d like him to.

5. He doesn’t like to travel.

6. He is a pessimist and is always preparing for the worst.

7. He suffers from severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety.

8. He is a homebody.

9. He doesn’t satisfy me in bed.

10. He wants to talk on the phone a lot more than I do.

11. We have serious political differences.

12. He is arrogant in his conquests.

13. He complains about other people very often.

14. He is constantly talking about his problems.

15. He is not generous.

In the case of this particular woman, after writing her positives and negatives lists, she read them back and had a big revelation to find that she had listed them. 15 negative points compared to just listing 10 that were positive.

Read Also: 100+ Biblical Female Names and Their Meanings

See too: 6 Things (Good and Not So Good) That Change When We Start Living With Someone Else

Next, I asked her to think about her top 10 priorities in life, and then I asked her to write it down and make it clear whether or not her partner was capable of helping her achieve these things.

1. Travel – NO

two. House – NO

3. Generosity – NO

4. Gender – NO

5. Social – NO

6. Conversation – NO

7. Bedtime compatibility – NO

8. Romance – YES

9. Regards – YES

10. Friendship Yes

In this woman’s case, her partner could only improve three of her ten life priorities. And on the other hand, she was easily able to find seven priorities in her life that he wouldn’t be able to help her improve.

Part 2:

After completing these two lists, review the data you collected to answer the final question of this exercise:

“Is this person going to make my life better?”

As you can see, the not-so-good news for the woman is that the negatives far outweigh the positives, but the good news is that, based on this information, she could now identify the source of your frustrations and disappointments within your relationship.

This left her with two choices:

1. She could sit down and discuss these issues with her partner and see if there were ways to improve things between them.

two. She could think of a way to end this relationship and look for someone who has those good points that she wrote down on the list.

Read Also: I want to make you happy completely, without halves

When this woman chose the number twoI told her not to be sad because this was a way to get in touch with her deepest desires and needsand now she has a better chance of finding a man worthy of her physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually.

It was the first time I saw her smile, and she told me that she felt relieved, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her.

It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t have the qualities you’re looking for in a relationship. In the meantime, be your own partner and take care of yourself as if you were madly in love with your own person!

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