I feel like life has treated me badly and everything is unfair, what can I do?

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We often feel that life is terribly unfair. What can we do when this feeling comes over us? The first step is to accept that existence is not always easy or kind. The second, put aside the position of victim and act.

“I feel like life has treated me badly and that everything is unfair.” Who more and who less has ever had this same thought. It is almost like a lament full of frustration, like a wound that hurts due to disappointment accumulated over time. Now, experiencing this idea in a specific way and especially as a result of a specific circumstance, is within the norm.

Feeling that existence is unfair when, for example, we lose someone we love or our relationship fails, it is understandable. However, The problem comes when the person has this perception constantly. Also, when you have the firm conviction that destiny always works against you and that no matter what you do, everything will progress in the end in an adverse and negative way.

In these latter cases, this approach is a clear reflection of helplessness, of that almost desperate mind that no longer knows how to act or what to do. Depression may be behind this filter with which you feel and interpret the world in such a defeatist way.. The mind weaves traps and often makes us captive to a too gray vision of our days…

Let us analyze this fact in detail.

I feel like life has treated me badly and everything is unfair, what should I do?

The idea that life is not fair and that it has been treating us adversely is a view widely studied by the field of psychology. It is for two reasons. The first because Human beings often deal with realities that are certainly not fair to anyone.. Wars, humanitarian tragedies, loss of loved ones, illnesses, economic problems…

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Life is not always easy and it is interesting to know how people overcome these crossroads. Secondly, because The human mind articulates very specific psychological processes that explain this perception. In fact, in therapy it is common to hear expressions like “I can’t believe this is happening to me! Why does the worst always happen to me in this life?

Let us therefore understand what we can do when we deal with those same moments.

The “just world bias.” We must accept the less kind side of life

It may sound a little disconsolate or forceful, but the world is not a kind place. In reality, it is a declaredly unfair scenario on certain occasions. There are many people who travel through destinations that they do not deserve and even the most noble men and women, bad things happen to them.

Life is unfair, but we firmly believe that it should be a promise of happiness and balance. absolute. And this perhaps defines the most common and recurrent bias in human beings, that of “just world”. Studies such as those carried out at the University of London tell us that those who cling to the idea that the world should always be kind to them suffer greater anxiety and psychological suffering.

On the other hand, those who understand that existence sometimes has chiaroscuro and that we must accept those more complex moments of everyday life, cope better with stress.

Refuse to be a victim, take action

“I feel that life has treated me badly, I feel that fate has been terribly cruel to me”. Whoever assumes the constant perception that existence is always adverse to himself, leads towards that helplessness that distorts everything. It is necessary to put aside the role of victimof that passivity that receives every storm and every gale without reacting.

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The first step is to accept the reality of the facts, but the second is advance, act, overcome and transform our reality to place it for our own benefit. Sooner or later, that sunny time comes when everything is calm. Let us refuse to be victims of our circumstances.

The cognitive distortions that exist in you

When we perceive all our experiences through negativity, it is very difficult to make changes. And the cause of it It is often in our mind, in cognitive distortions. Let’s look at some examples of them to know how to detect and control them:

No one wants me in this world (overgeneralization). Whatever I do, everything is going to go wrong (generalization). I am worthless (labelling). I know that no one trusts my abilities and potential (thought reading). This project the one I’m working on is going to fail (guessing the future).

I feel like life has treated me badly: be aware of what you can and cannot control

When you tell yourself “I feel that life has treated me badly and that everything is unfair” you must stop. Giving yourself time and putting your emotions, thoughts and personal perspectives in order is a priority in those moments of difficulty. In difficult times it is more decisive than ever to decide well, to know where to move forward.

To do this, in addition to identifying those cognitive distortions mentioned above, it is necessary to assume another fact. You must be aware of what you can control and what is simply out of your control. You cannot, for example, control many of the things that happen to you, but you can master your thoughts and emotions.

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Sometimes, life is adverse and takes unkind directions; it’s true. But we can adjust our attitude to face them better and take paths that are more favorable to us. Let’s think about it.