7 things that children never forget about their parents

All parents want to have wonderful children, they expect their children to be affable and, as adults, behave like responsible and useful people for society. However, letting that ideal be the architect of parenting does not usually give many results.

It has long been known that parenting style affects behavior during childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. There is also a lot of information circulating about childhood emotional wounds, attachment disorders and other difficulties derived from poor education.

Therefore, in this article we compile 7 things that children never forget about their parents, both good and negative. Don’t miss anything, because homeschooling is a full-time job, for which no one comes prepared. Let’s go with it.

1. Children never forget abuse

Abuse leaves a mark for life.

No relationship is perfect, much less one as intense as that of parents with their children. There will always be moments of contradiction or conflict, which is normal. However, unfortunately, Many parents wrongly assume that violence is a tool to educate.

Abuse may intimidate a child into doing the parents’ will. But, we must keep in mind that this mistreatment will become the germ of the lack of self-esteem, disorganized attachment, anxiety and depression disorders and, no less important, learned helplessness.

Exposing the child to these situations of violence places him in a very complex panorama: he loves and hates at the same time. He also learns to fear. No one should profess fear of their caregivers, much less internalize family and social relationships through aggression-submission.

2. The treatment given to the other tutor

The relationship between parents is the model from which the child starts to forge an attitude facing relationships. It is very likely that, consciously or unconsciously, in adulthood he will repeat with his spouse what he observed at home during his upbringing.

Besides, conflicts between parents generate distress in the child. Going further, children who grow up in contexts of parental violence often develop emotional disorders and have their self-concept and the way they relate to others affected.

3. The moments when they felt protected

Children’s fears are bigger and more insidious than those of adults. Children cannot clearly distinguish the border between reality and imagination. Parents are the people they trust most to provide the sense of security they need to learn and explore the unknown. So, if it is the parents who cause this fear, they are going to feel quite unprotected.

Little ones need to feel protected by their attachment figures.

Parents should listen carefully to these fears, without criticizing or minimizing them. They must make the infants understand that they are not in danger. This will increase the children’s feeling of security and make the bond of love and respect with their parents much stronger.

4. Children never forget the lack of attention

For a child, the love that their parents profess for them is related to the attention they receive from them. Children do not have the necessary life experience or the psychological resources to understand situations, such as: their parents working more than necessary to be able to pay for an expensive school.

Sharing quality time with them and, of course, attending to their physical and psychological needs is what guarantees that they grow up healthy and independent. Otherwise, we would be talking about parental neglect.

In the latter case, it is known that parental neglect is one of the causes of depression in children. If this neglect is accompanied by an authoritarian parenting style, it can lead, in serious cases, to suicidal ideation in children.

5. The importance given to family ties

Children will always remember that their father or mother were able to put the family as a priority in different circumstances.. It is important to take into account that the life of a child is much more limited than that of an adult, so the family takes on greater importance.

If parents place family above everything, the child will learn the value of loyalty and affection. Thus, as an adult, he will also be able to put aside other commitments to take care of his loved ones, when they need it.

Spending quality time with the family is very important for the emotional development of the little ones.

6. Children never forget injustices

Surely, most parents will have heard their children say “this is not fair”, especially when they are not allowed to do something they want, or have something they want. But, although his sense of justice is not yet fully developed, This does not take away the fact that children may perceive actions or expressions that denote unfair or unequal treatment.

For example, when parents accuse the child of something he or she did not do, or acknowledge the efforts of one child but not the other, cause emotional wounds in the childwhich sets in and affects the rest of the child’s life, if injustice becomes a habit.

7. Expressions of affection and affection

Finally, something that children never forget is the love received from their main attachment figures. All children should grow up in an environment of support and affection, that allows them to cultivate self-confidence and self-love.

While it is true that some children need more demonstrations of love than others, this ingredient should never be missing. In an article published in the magazine Psychoeducational: reflections and proposals, In 2019, it is noted that: “the high capacity for support, care, maintaining body approach, eye contact and frequent gestural communication with your baby” are factors that influence secure attachment.

All those traces that are left during childhood accompany us for the rest of our lives. They often represent the difference between having a healthy mental life and a life plagued by conflict. An upbringing impregnated with love and affection is the best gift that a human being can give to another who is under their care.

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