Benefits of a 10-day silent retreat

I could write dozens of articles on the benefits of a 10-day silent retreat. I could record hours and hours talking about what a spiritual retreat brings. So many things could be said… but I will only say a few. I will show those that can be shared, because the vast majority are personal and individual. They are experiences so deep and ineffable that no matter how many words we use, they are impossible to convey. Furthermore, apart from the impossibility of transmission through oral or written means, they belong to the internal, private sphere.

When I did my first 7-day retreat two years ago, one of my first impulses upon leaving was to tell about the experience. At that moment I realized that Not everyone is prepared to understand what for some can be a transformative experience.. Since then I don’t talk much about it unless they ask me, or I do it very superficially. In fact, when I left my last retreat, one of the first things they asked me was: “ten days without talking to anyone and without using your cell phone?” “Yes,” I replied, “how strange you are,” I thought. they answered.

What is a withdrawal?

A retirement is basically withdrawing from life. Said like that it sounds a bit bleak. Let’s explain it better.

In our daily lives we encounter situations that make us angry, as well as people who irritate us. We face events that sadden us. In summary, we must face more or less continuously situations that create discomfort. On the other hand also We are victims of attachments, which at a serious extreme could be classified as addictions.

Therefore, A retreat consists of temporarily separating ourselves from what causes us both discomfort and excessive attachment to learn to be with ourselves. In this case, through the teachings of a highly qualified teacher who guides and establishes certain guidelines to follow.

The first moments

Being my third retreat I already had some experience, however, The first moments are always different. Furthermore, this retreat consisted of the end of the course to be a Buddhist meditation instructor, so I felt a great responsibility.

Between one retreat and another, life has continued to happen and we have continued to accumulate experience. When you cross the door of the retreat center you know that, despite being accompanied by other retreatants, you are going to be alone with your mind. No cell phone, no computer, no internet, no contact with the outside world.

In our daily lives we constantly escape from our most uncomfortable thoughts. We cannot tolerate thinking about what causes us pain and that is why we always resort to our cell phone or any other activity to distract ourselves. In a retreat you are alone in the face of danger: your mind and your thoughts.

Meditation and thoughts in a silent retreat

Meditation

As it was a silent retreat at the end of the Tibetan Meditation Instructor course, we meditated between 5 or 6 times a day as practice, plus the individual meditations that each one wanted to do. We also received teachings. This was our only auditory stimulus, the teacher’s words for a few hours a day. Otherwise, silence.

When you meditate you realize how many thoughts come to your mind over and over again. Thoughts that you thought were outdated and others that are more current. Some remain in your mind like a dagger in the back. You sit cross-legged, breathe deeply and slowly, and let the thought pass. You observe him without judging him. However, when you finish the meditation, it comes back again.

Thoughts

Those thoughts that we seemed to have under control begin to emerge, to emerge like lava from a volcano completely out of control. The tip of a thought appears and on a daily basis we hide it by going to the internet.

In retreat, not only does the tip of the iceberg appear but it begins to emerge and little by little you begin to see its size: enormous! You realize that Many thoughts are like the iceberg that sank the Titanic, on the outside you think they don’t affect you that much while they are surreptitiously hurting you. in such a way that, little by little, they sink your emotional health, your spirit, your self-esteem… Congratulations, you are beginning to face your own demons!

This is why it is not difficult, that despite everything seeming idyllic Anxiety attacks, tremors, sweating, desire to cry, palpitations, hyperventilation, etc. may occur between withdrawals. These symptoms are by no means described to scare you, but quite the opposite, so that we know everything that happens when we really confront our mind, so that we know how much we hide from ourselves. And when we have to face it, we don’t even know where to start.

In some ways, this anxiety could also be explained as a withdrawal syndrome from everyday life. We are used to a certain routine, to going from here to there, but in a retreat center you have a set schedule. You can’t access technology, you can’t get up from your room in the middle of the night and go to your fridge for ice cream. These are changes that we must suppress to adopt a different schedule and behavior, and this can cause some discomfort.. Furthermore, since it is a silent retreat we cannot speak either. Everything is different.

But… what are the benefits of a 10-day silent retreat?

So far everything looks a bit average, but having a few days that are emotionally low depends on each person, their life history, their ability to cope, and their degree of involvement with meditative practice.

The curious thing about it all is that The benefits of the silent retreat don’t really start to be felt until you return to daily life. Being there you feel tranquility, serenity. Even if you have been emotionally disturbed for a few days, everything returns to normal. The mind is much calmer, you don’t need to talk, you don’t need as much external stimulation to be happy. You are enough with yourself and little else.

You leave the retreat center on your way home and the noise of your surroundings begins to invade you: cars, people talking, people shouting, bangs… You begin to be aware of the excessive noise we are surrounded by and that causes us a state of stress almost unconsciously. Those who live alone have that advantage, but when you live with more people at home you notice that one has the TV on, another with the computer, another with the cell phone and almost everyone is watching things that really do not contribute anything and at excessive volume.

When you start interacting with your people again you realize that A large part of the conversations are purely social, that is, to fill a gap, which neither contribute nor enrich you. Which does not mean that it is negative, it is not a negative criticism, but rather a reflection. We talk a little about the country, about friends, about sports, but… have we improved as a person? After ten intense days dedicated to inner development you become aware of the amount of superfluous information that is used just by talking.

You learn to appreciate the simple, the simple, that which really gives value to our lives. When you visit a shopping center you only see opulence, consumerism and materialism. We open our eyes and realize that since we were little we have only been taught to look for happiness externally, but that it really is within us, we are just not taught to cultivate it.

Cave, valley and cemetery phase

The issue of returning to everyday life is an important aspect, since many can become obsessed with talking only about what helps them in their inner development, however, The ideal is to achieve balance. Not leaving aside our friends or our family, but not leaving aside, for example, our meditative practices.

Lama Rinchen Gyaltsen He ran the meditation training course and always talked about the three phases of the spiritual path:

Cave phase.Valley phase.Cemetery phase.

The first phase consists of withdraw from everything that negatively affects you or creates attachment to you and prepare yourself. It is a mental training.

When we think we are ready We go down to the valley to “deal” with everyday life and see to what extent we have evolved.

Finally, the cemetery phase would already be a bit outdated. Formerly in India, cemeteries were places where putrefied bodies could be seen. So It was said that if a meditator was able to meditate in a cemetery, his level of evolution was really high..

Fortunately, we do not need to go to meditate in a cemetery and if we want to do so, nowadays, at least in Spain, we do not find bodies in sight. We can go from the cave phase to the valley phase.

Many, when they leave the retreat, expect everything to remain as calm as in the “cave”, but this is very difficult and unrealistic. Every day we are bombarded by hundreds of stimuli and we have to face different situations and setbacks. But it is neither healthy nor healthy to allow yourself to be swept away by the unhealthy and extremely materialistic maelstrom of the valley phase. Hence The ideal is to know how to interact with our environment while being able to maintain a certain calm. and not leave aside our personal practices.

Recommendations for doing a silent retreat

First of all, it is advisable to start with a short retreat of 2 or 3 days. And above all, guided. The three retreats I have done (7 days, 3 days and 10 days) have been guided. I started straight away with a 7-day one that changed my life, but for many people it can cause a certain degree of anxiety to begin with.

On the other hand, It is important to know the centerthat is, look for references, try to meet people who have done one, consult the website, see who the teachers are… This information will give us guarantees about the center we are going to.

Another important aspect is to know that not all retreats are silent. Many are meditative practices but do not demand silence, although it is true that in some way, perhaps unconsciously, people tend to talk less. However, It is essential to know that if we carry out a silent retreat we may feel anxiety and discomfort for a few days. It is a very normal phase. In this case, if we do not know how to handle it, it is best to consult with the teacher and he will give us instructions to improve our situation. But above all we should not be scared.

Final comments

Many people tell me that they would never do a silent retreat. From here I would like to recommend the experience even if it is just for a weekend. We spend a lot of money on whims, we invest a lot of time on empty tasks, so invest a little…