I feel inferior to others: what can I do?

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Sometimes, having been through an abusive relationship can leave a person with a clear feeling of inferiority. They are wounds to self-esteem that must be repaired. We analyze it below.

““I feel inferior to others, I have had better times and worse times, but today I don’t see myself as competent for almost anything.”. This type of reasoning occurs more frequently than we think. What’s more, sometimes we have very well-prepared and apparently self-confident people who show this almost corrosive low self-esteem that limits their lives.

Self-contempt, feelings of inadequacy, excessive self-demand… Although many of us instantly identify the features of the classic inferiority complex defined by Alfred Adler in his day, it must be said that we are faced with a much more complex dimension. An example, Many of these cases can lead to self-harming behavior.

Even more, if I feel less than anyone else, if I compare myself to my siblings, friends or coworkers and see myself as clumsier, less competent or less attractive, I can end up hating those around me. Each person, however, develops a particular type of behavior and dynamics.. We also have those who fall into isolation and even depression.

Let’s understand these types of situations a little more.

I feel inferior to others: characteristics and coping strategies

Those who live feeling incompetent, fallible and inferior to others unknowingly live with fierce internal enemies. Your mind, your internal dialogue and a very damaging past experience extinguish any hint of self-esteem, any strength of self-concept. And live with himI can’t”, “I better not even try” and “this is not for me because others are better than me” destroys and exhausts.

It is interesting to know that The inferiority complex was coined by the Austrian doctor Alfred Adler., disciple of Freud. According to him, all children were defined by this trait given their inferiority in almost any aspect (size, age, sense of power). He also commented that this sensation, of feeling inferior, could act as a stimulus and impulse. As a necessity to improve ourselves day by day.

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Today we know that not all children accept the idea of being inferior to their parents. There we have, for example, the emperor syndrome or the tyrant child. Furthermore, it was Gordon Allport who pointed out that The feeling of inferiority arises from bad experiences experienced at any time and the way we interpret them..

That experience can deeply penetrate us, stagnating us, plunging us into a negative and lasting emotional state. Let’s look a little further into the triggers and coping strategies associated with each situation.

Strategies to manage feelings of inferiority originating in childhood

Growing up in a family environment in which positive reinforcement was rarely received diminishes our self-concept. Even more, having a brother who always received praise or simply having spent the first years in a demanding or contemptuous environment deeply hurts self-concept and self-esteem.

What can we do in these cases?

Rephrase, separate and rewrite. When one lives a childhood defined by lack, one must reformulate and rewrite everything transmitted, felt and instilled by others. It is an almost constant work of restructuring thoughts. If our mother convinced us that we were not good for this or that, it is time to change that thinking.”Why can’t I be good at what I want? who says it? What if I try?”Self-efficacy. When a person tells themselves “I feel inferior to others” they have a very low sense of self-efficacy. Since they were children, they were made to believe that they were clumsy, fallible, lazy, inept… To strengthen self-esteem, they must work on self-efficacy and to do so, it is necessary to get involved in small goals and tasks with which to demonstrate to themselves what they are capable of.

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After an abusive injury, I feel inferior to others. What can I do now?

Have an emotional relationship with a narcissist. Having lived for several years with someone who mistreated us. Finally leaving a relationship based on dependency… All these experiences can damage our self-concept until we become someone different: someone defined by fears.

What can we do in these cases?

Blame away. You are not responsible for what happened, do not burden yourself with more negativity and contempt. It’s time to heal after everything you’ve experienced.Empower yourself. It’s time to raise your face and ask yourself what you want. Make new plans on the horizon, meet new people, lean on those who love you to remember that life is worth it, that you are worth what you want.Rebuild your self-esteem day by day. Make a change that makes you feel good and competent, such as starting a course, looking for another job, thinking about new projects…

Feeling of inferiority due to race, physical appearance, disability, specific limitations…

Another reason why it is common to experience feelings of inferiority has its origin in social, physical, cultural aspects, etc. Being an overweight person, having a certain skin color, being on the autism spectrum, suffering from a disability… All of these facts can make someone feel at a disadvantage in certain cases.

What can we do in these cases?

Beware of self-fulfilling prophecies. Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy inevitably fuel self-unfulfilling prophecies. That is to say, if I assume that they will not hire me in that job because I am short, because I am of a different religion, because I am obese, etc… and I decide not to go for those reasons, I am limiting myself.

People with low self-esteem expect few things from themselves and nothing from the environment around them. It is necessary to change this approach and give ourselves opportunities.

You are worth more than you think and you must prove it to yourself before others. The essence of an inferiority complex is getting caught in a cycle of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Start creating new thoughts and feeding new emotions: “I don’t have to prove to anyone what I’m worth, I shouldn’t compare myself to anyone because from today I am my best reference. And I am going to invest in what I want to achieve.”

Feelings of inferiority and mental disorders

There is one last aspect that we cannot leave aside. Ideas like “I feel inferior to others” They also appear in multiple psychological disorders. Studies such as those carried out at the University of Hamburg by Dr. Stephen Moritz, for example, show us that Feelings of inferiority also often appear in patients with schizophrenia.

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On the other hand, people with dependent personality disorder or avoidant personality disorder also manifest it. Likewise, we cannot ignore that it may also be present behind self-harming behaviors or even eating disorders.

In these cases, It is a priority to receive specialized professional help. Harboring the constant feeling that one is worthless and that others surpass us in everything overwhelmingly limits the quality of life. Let us not hesitate to resort to psychological therapy to redefine ideas, heal self-esteem and strengthen self-concepts.