How to tell if someone is acting with real kindness (or is pure falsehood)

As an old song says, everything is easier with a smile. And kindness is also that: smiling can be the greatest gift we can give to those around us.

Often being nice starts with not downloading our problems on others, not judging them, not demanding. To enjoy the “good time of the heart” you have to practice kindness without restrictions.

The opportunities to exercise kindness are almost endless. At every moment and with each person we have an opportunity to provide love and understandingthe positive waves of a wise heart.

However, has it ever happened to everyone that a person tries to do something for others andIt is interpreted that he seeks to make some profitfor this reason or that behind their actions there are other intentions.

So what is a kind person really like? The genuinely kind person expects nothing in return., nor is it offended for not having obtained recognition or equivalent treatment. Kindness is not an “I give you this, you give me that” trade. The emotional transaction ends in oneself, because has its own reward in the good of others. Let’s take a look at what really nice people are like.

In this video you will discover an asana to be kind to yourself:

Is he a kind person or is he fake?

Definitely, many people use courtesy, a false kindness, as an automatic or to obtain favors. And sometimes those characters can be ourselves.

There is a very simple test to find out for sure: we just have to observe how that person treats others: to your family, to your co-workers, also to anonymous people such as the subway ticket clerk or the student who asks to do a survey.

If he behaves kindly to everyone equally, it is a sign that we are dealing with a naturally kind person. If they are given, instead, large differences, there are reasons to doubt.

True kindness knows no privileges (love some and despise others), in the same way that we would not trust a shopkeeper who has just cheated the person before us with the weight. More than kind acts there are kind people.

However, Kindness is a quality that every person possesses to a different extent. can be cultivated for it, both in oneself and in others. By being delicate with those who are not delicate with us, we are already opting for kindness and also unconsciously educating through example. As Plato said: “Be kind, for each person you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Since we live in society and depend on each other, kindness is a means to make our way easier and grow with the support of others. It is an inexhaustible source of internal energy and independent of the circumstances that are experienced, although it certainly helps to put them on our side.

You don’t have to wait until you come across a solitary patient to mobilize this precious resource. We can help others (and ourselves) also in small daily doses.

When the Dalai Lama says “my religion is kindness” It does not refer to a dogma or belief, but to a principle from which to direct our lives. Perhaps authentic spirituality is essentially that attentive and understanding disposition that is the food of happiness.

Keys to be a kind person

Know how to interact in a positive and relaxed way with the environment allows us to avoid exhausting friction with the people around us.

Reconsider first. No matter how great the anger, before telling someone what you think, give yourself 24 hours to consider the matter. You can write what hurt you on a piece of paper and read it the next day to find out if it has the importance you gave it.Avoid predictions. Many of the frictions that arise on a day-to-day basis are due to the fact that we anticipate that someone will act in a certain way: for example, calling us immediately if we have done you a favour, and if that is not fulfilled, anger arises easily.Learn to adapt. Flexibility and empathy are two guarantees of optimal relationships with each other and are easy to grow. As an Indian proverb says: “it is easier to put on some slippers than to carpet the whole world”. Empathy (knowing how to put yourself in the place of others) is the seed of all kindness.Knowing how to put yourself in the shoes of the other. It is not about agreeing with others or justifying their behavior, but about understanding why they act as they do. Often we get angry with others because we analyze their actions through our own situation. With this we forget that “they” live in a different world. Daniel Goleman assures in his classic emotional intelligence that empathy is one of the keys to success in the workplace. People capable of understanding the emotions of others (be it bosses, co-workers or vendors), get an immediate view of the situationThey find solutions and build trust.Run away from lawsuits. When prosecuting a person, we are tempted to deliver a verdict and fix the punishment. The latter is usually charged in the form of anger, with which in the end the judge is as harmed as the defendant. It is preferable to change the verb “judge” to “understand”.Forget the offenses. Do not carry the disappointments and wounds you have received from others, as they will prevent you from living in the present spontaneously. Make a clean slate: get used to valuing each person at the time and place of it.Reduce stress. Behind many violent attitudes there are habits that put the nerves on edge. Start by being kind to your own body: moderate stimulants like coffee, alcohol, or nicotine, and Spend some time each day relaxing your body and calming your mind.Stop the conflict. The best way to avoid a long and tedious argument is not to start it, although it is necessary to temporarily give reason to those who do not have it. If the other person is out of his mind, just listen and delay your response so you don’t escalate the situation. Try not to act that way yourself.

The story of the Swedish master

A few years ago I met a singular man. He was an old Swedish man of almost eighty yearsin rather delicate health, who was working in a Bosnian refugee camp. I was just passing through, and was surprised that someone so old would have come across Europe to offer to cas a volunteer

Due to a paper problem, I had to stay in the refugee camp longer than expected, so I I dedicated myself to observing the day to day of that man. While the rest of the aid workers were young and energetic, the old man gave his help in drops.

They had assigned him to a makeshift kindergarten which occupied what had been a nightclub. There were days that he couldn’t get up or only went for a couple of hours.

As He had a delicate heart sometimes, after spending half a morning with the children, He would discreetly retire to his room. She then she would reappear for a while to lend a hand.

Intrigued, one night I approached him to find out who he was. Then he told me his story.

ra school teacher and his wife had died shortly after his retirement. for more than a year suffered from severe depression and he even considered the idea of ​​committing suicide. What was the point of living alone in a cold town in Sweden, with nothing to do and all the ailments in the world?

While all this was going through his head, one morning he had to go to the hospital for an annual review. By chance, when taking the elevator he got the wrong floor and he ended up in a section where there were many terminally ill patients.

At first she didn’t notice and wandered down the hall looking for her doctor’s office. He entered by mistake (one more) in a room and he saw a middle-aged man, alone and hopeless, crying uncontrollably.

Compunged by that scene, he sat next to her not knowing what to do. The patient did not seem to mind his presence.

Then, almost without knowing why he was doing it, the old master began to sing him an old song about spring and how pretty the girls get. She had always been told that she had a beautiful voice.

The patient stopped crying and he pricked up his ears, very surprised to hear that. He knew the song, so began to accompany him. At the end of the tune, perhaps because of the unusualness of the situation (two strangers singing in a hospital), the patient burst out laughing that infected the old master.

That sick man saved his life.

“sometimes you try to help“, the old Swede told me, “for example giving advice to others, and You only manage to create confusion. That is to say, subtract instead of add. But that lonely and desperate patient was giving me an opportunity. I immediately understood that, no matter how insignificant I was, any attention from me would mean adding up.”

Saying this, the old man explained to me that From that day on, he dedicated the afternoonswhen the light goes out and sadness turns on, to visit the sick from the hospital that they were alone. I sang for them and also listened to their stories.

Suddenly his life was filled with meaning and he no longer thought of suicide. Who had helped whom? That man had discovered the power of kindness.

Connect with true kindness

As the experience of the old teacher in the hospital shows, true kindness transcends good manners and social conventions. It is the opportunity to give something of ourselves that sometimes we were even unaware of.

Our value is measured by the good that we are capable of doing.. When Stephen R. Covey was asked how he managed to sell 15 million books The 7 habits of highly effective people He replied, “Being useful.”

For vincent ferrercreator of a major foundation in India, action is the only thing the world expects of us. Without it, any debate about ethics, hunger or peace is wasteland.

If you see someone fall on the street, you instinctively help them. That is the essence of goodness, the rest is mere packaging. Kindness is a key that opens any door, always that goes beyond courtesy to become an act of sincere love that comforts both the one who receives it and the one who gives it.

For this, our way of seeing the world and others is essential. As Buddhism remembers, by observing reality we color it with ourselves.

Therefore, if we look at her with hatred, that will be our retribution. Instead, if we look at it with kindness, we will be the first to benefit.