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8 Toxic Habits That Destroy Happiness Day After Day

It’s not the lack of money or leisure that usually prevents us from being happy. In fact, it’s toxic and harmful habits that stealthily rob us of the joy of living. It’s high time to shed light on the issue, because when we know what we’re doing wrong, it’s easier to take the first step to interrupt the cycle of self-destruction and make room for happiness.

O awesome.club suggests that you know and give up the 8 habits that make up the list below. We will also give some tips to encourage paradigm shifts, showing that we have a good share of responsibility for our own happiness.

8. Not showing feelings

A lot of people grow up hearing that they shouldn’t show unpleasant emotions. The story usually begins in childhood—adults say things like “don’t cry” or “don’t be sad about it”. Little by little, we learn to hide our negative feelings, but behavior usually results in a worse life experience.

According to experts, fighting our negative emotions also makes us insensitive to positive sensations, since we don’t have the ability to choose what we want to feel or not. This further impairs communication and relationships, affecting many spheres of our lives — it is worth mentioning that emotional disconnection can lead to various health problems. There are many non-toxic ways to air our feelings. Dancing, for example, is one of them.

7. Don’t allow yourself to make mistakes

We must not forget that even some innovations that changed the course of humanity happened by accident. The pacemaker, the microwave oven and even penicillin are among them. To get straight to the point, we can say that it looks really cool to say on your resume that you are a perfectionist. But does that really make you a happier person in real life?

We believe not, because you are constantly trying to reach an ideal, but the fact is that it does not exist🇧🇷 And on the face of it, even the smallest mistake can bring you down, resulting in anxiety, eating disorders, and other health problems. You have to allow yourself to make mistakes and change your own perspective on failure. To make your new path easier, remember the words of Thomas Edison: “I have not failed 10,000 times. I found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

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6. Prefer to be the victim

Blaming other people or situations for your own problems is a quick way to find unhappiness. It’s easy to blame everything: late for work? It wasn’t me, it was a traffic jam. Don’t have money to travel on vacation? It’s not me, it’s just that they don’t want to pay me more. However, by adopting such a stance, you will never have control over these “unfair things”.

Let’s discuss the first situation further to make things clearer. When you say that the problem was the traffic jam, there is nothing that can be done. After all, the excess vehicles will be there tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and for many days to come. Are you going to be late for the rest of your life?

But when you understand that you are responsible for being late, you will see a sea of ​​​​alternatives. You can choose to wake up earlier or ask your boss to change your work schedule. It is also possible to start going to a gym close to work in the morning to be able to arrive in time for the start of the day. Try to see everything that happens in your life from this angle to start seeing opportunities. where there were barriers before.

5. Holding grudges

For starters, holding grudges can have negative health effects, from mild depression to acute cardiovascular problems. And it’s kind of hard to be happy when you’re depressed or suffering from heart problems, don’t you agree?

Second, you need to understand that there is likely a deeper problem causing the reaction to occur this way. It could be anything from low self-esteem to other issues that trigger discomfort. A small example: if someone told you that you were stupid, would that hurt you even though you are sure that person is wrong? If we are aware of what we really are, we can work on our self-development when we are hurt by someone.

In third place, you keep hurting yourself🇧🇷 You keep mentally replaying a certain negative situation, feeling irritated or helpless again and again. So you waste valuable time and energy on something that cannot be changed. Is it not time to look for a therapist to learn to let go of certain things, making room in life for more pleasant things?

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4. Thinking you have the ability to read minds

Unless you’re a vampire, mermaid, or even a human with supernatural gifts, you can never know exactly what others are thinking. However, thoughts like “I look so stupid in their eyes” or “they probably think I’m so boring” run through our minds every day.

But there are some simple tips for this kind of situation: don’t choose to humiliate yourself, but believe that people think the best of you🇧🇷 This perspective will boost your self-confidence, helping with more open communication. You’ll also notice that it’s easier to ask for help when we don’t make assumptions.

3. Focus on others’ success

In the age of social networks, it is very difficult not to fall into the “comparison trap”. Our clothes aren’t as stylish as those on Instagram, we don’t travel as much as they do, and our relationships aren’t as perfect as the ones they live. And the desire to have these things can easily make us unhappy, but we can’t forget something very important.

First of all, people only show the parts they want us to see. There’s no way to guarantee that their lives will be all that perfection. Furthermore, there are numerous proofs that the reality for influencers is not as rosy as they appear. on Facebook or Instagram. Not to mention, while you’re constantly busy following someone else’s life, you neglect your own, wasting time you could be investing in building your own success.

We suggest that you become aware of your own life. Try the following method to get started on that path. Every day, you should recognize and write down at least five things you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of. It will make you see value in your life and walk a successful path.

2. Depending on the opinion of others

Take time to think about how often you try to make the “right” impression on other people. And how often it brings you happiness. If you realize that the scales are not tilted in your favor, it’s time to rethink your values ​​and start making choices. After all, according to experts, dependent people are more likely to feel anxious and depressed, having difficulties respecting their own personal limits.

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Think carefully: sometimes we want to impress people we don’t even like, or prove something to those we don’t really care about. From now on, in every situation you should ask yourself: “Am I okay with this or am I doing it to please other people?” An alternative is to write down the responses to create an “it’s my life” vs. “It’s not my life”. The results may be shocking, but they will motivate you to move forward and trust yourself more.

1. Let the past and the future torment your life

We are not saying that thinking about our past and future causes unhappiness, but one must avoid getting stuck there. Dwelling on what has already happened is often a sign that there are unresolved issues weighing you down. Already thinking only about the future demonstrates that the person has an anxiety problem.

In addition, a study indicated that people who focus on the present are happier, and feel more connected to others. There is an exercise that can help you start living “here and now”:

Stick to the sounds. Try to understand each one of them, those that are close, those that are far, the most intense and the softest. Turn your attention to those quieter, more relaxing sounds. Then explore the scents—the strong and the mild; smells that come and go. Watch the clouds passing by. Try to observe as much detail as possible. Mentally describe the shapes.

What do you think are other things that keep us from finding happiness? In difficult times, what helps you not to let the shuttlecock fall and move forward? Leave a comment with your impressions on the subject!

Illustrated by Yekaterina Ragozina exclusive to Incrível.club

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