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9 Practical Psychology Tricks That Can Make Your Kids More Responsible

Inducing a sense of responsibility in children is not an insignificant task, it is important to teach them the skills they will use throughout their lives, thus creating competent people who are proud to be self-sufficient. This will keep them from thinking they have the right to have others always do things for them. However, it is complex for parents to develop an everyday technique to cultivate this sense of duty in their children.

O awesome.club put together a series of practical recommendations grounded in psychology that can facilitate this learning for parents and children. Follow up!

1. Start from childhood

It is difficult for a person to voluntarily take on responsibilities that appear overnight if he has not been used to taking on some beforehand. Therefore, experts recommend that parents try to get their children to do their homework from childhood, starting as early as 2 years old. Fulfilling responsibilities will come naturally to the child, and acquiring a habit will not be interpreted as forced, imposed, or just plain boring.

2. If your children offer help, accept

It is very common for adults to avoid helping children. We have so many things to do on a day-to-day basis that if we see our 3-year-old struggling to clean up some spilled milk, we’ll probably stop him right away. We may think that children are extra work and that letting them do something takes too long, but that is a mistake.

It is common for children, especially younger ones, to offer help to adults. Leave them as long as the activity is within your reach. Studies have shown that children will continue to do such an action freely, even as teenagers.

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3. Naturalize the activities, setting an example

There is a popular saying that “words convince, but example drags”, and psychologists agree. Try to make it your own and, keeping it in mind, fulfill your own responsibilities at home. Teach children by your example that a task done and well done is a source of satisfaction.

Also, you can include them in your words. Try using “we” instead of “you” when indicating that it’s time to do a certain task, such as “now let’s clear the dishes” or “now let’s put our stuff in the laundry basket”.

4. Assign age-appropriate tasks to children

It is important for you and for the children to manage your own expectations. Don’t expect a 2 year old to do the same activities as a 5 year old with the same strength and success, as their achievements depend on their development. You will only lose patience and leave the child frustrated.

Try, however, to assign her age-appropriate tasks, and neither of you will be disappointed. The guide above may be helpful. Do you think I could make the bed better? Or arrange the dishes in a more practical way? Show her how you do it.

5. Specify your orders by explaining what needs to be done step by step

The general request to “clean up your room” may not be very clear to young children. Depending on the size of the child, psychologists suggest specifying tasks in concrete steps so that they quickly understand what you expect them to do. Instead of telling her to “clean her room,” you can ask her to put her books on the shelf, put her shoes in the closet, collect her school supplies, and organize them in her case. If necessary, teach her how to complete each task—only if she can’t do it herself.

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6. Use a task board and add “dad” and “mom” to it

Family members have responsibilities, including the father and mother. In this way, it is possible to keep the house tidy, which is essential, as children develop better with an orderly life.

Writing on a whiteboard who each task corresponds to is a useful visual way to normalize and give children the structure they need to get results. Also, this is very useful for monitoring the performance of each one. You can even include goals for each member so that when they meet them, they can feel proud.

7. Don’t give your children prizes at the end of their chores

When they are very young, children’s motivation does not respond to external stimuli, such as reward, but internal stimuli, feeling part of the family team, imitating their parents, among other things. So, by rewarding those who do chores around the house, you often reduce their participation. Instead of rewarding them, let fun routine activities be the result of their completed tasks. For example, after putting away toys and brushing your teeth, you can watch television.

Worse still, the awards make the action disinterested and responsible for making them think they can get it without having worked for it. They will demand a reward for doing the dishes, even if they used it and left it dirty.

8. Thank and encourage

9. Teach them that not fulfilling their responsibilities has consequences

It’s about teaching children not just how to do chores around the house, but giving them a sense of responsibility that will accompany them into adulthood. Therefore, it is necessary to show that if duties are not fulfilled, it is natural that there will be consequences, something that will happen to them as adults.

The goal, psychologists explain, is to establish discipline, which children can later turn into self-discipline. If your children don’t want to keep their brushes, modeling clay, cardstock, and crayons, explain that they won’t be able to play later. If they forget to bring their sneakers to school, don’t leave work to help them. Let the natural consequences of your lack of responsibility appear.

Do you practice any of these tricks? Do you know any other parenting secrets you’d like to share with us? Tell us in the comments!

Illustrated by Inna Grevtseva exclusive to Incrível.club

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