How to talk to your child about puberty

Little is said about the boy body transformations during puberty, giving the false impression that he would be safer than the girls. However, boys are just as curious and apprehensive as they are and need information and support in this transition from a child’s body to an adult’s body.

Puberty in boys begins around age 11 or 12. It is a period when he grows rapidly. The hairs are born; penis and testicles increase in size. Perspiration takes on a different odor. Skin and hair become more oily and pimples may appear on the face and back. It is also common for the voice to deepen. At this stage, usually at 13 or 14 years old, the boy has his first ejaculation. It can happen as a result of masturbation or during sleep. Also common are spontaneous erections, anywhere, anytime, without the penis being stimulated or touched. All of this is perfectly normal and part of healthy puberty.

pride and fear

Some boys feel proud when they see their body start to change. Others have the feeling that they are not yet ready for the changes and there are also those who oscillate between these two feelings. But everyone agrees that knowing what’s going on and having someone to talk to about the physical changes is a big help.

Most parents don’t have enough information to guide teenagers. Rare is the father who knows how to explain, for example, the reason for nocturnal ejaculation. Mothers know even less. Many are uncomfortable talking about masturbation and ejaculation. However, it is necessary to overcome these barriers, seek information and help the child to understand what is happening to him.

all very natural

One way to introduce the subject and relax the conversation is to talk about your own experience: “When I was your age, the first hairs grew” or “my voice was out of tune” are good ways to start the dialogue. The father can also describe his feelings (nervousness, pride, fear) and tell, in a good-humored tone, embarrassing situations he has been through, such as a spontaneous erection in an inappropriate place.

It is not recommended to arrange a solemn conversation. It’s best to approach the subject casually, when it feels natural.

preparing the future

If it’s too difficult to talk about puberty issues, an adolescent pediatrician may be the right person to answer the boys’ questions. Another idea is to look for books that parents and children can read together or that they read alone.

The important thing is that the boys are prepared for the transformations of this phase before they happen. A 9-10 year old child already has a lot of questions and fears. Speaking clearly about this creates a foundation of respect and trust that will serve as a basis for conversations about sex education in the future.