Love, the essence of happiness

We all aspire to have a life full of love., and it is natural because, as evidenced by the latest research, thanks to it we experience the full range of positive emotions, since it is the only feeling that not only brings them all together, but also enhances them. Love is a source of well-being, the motor of our existence and the key to our development as full and happy people.

Much has been said about positive emotions and their importance for well-being and happiness.. The benefits are obvious: enjoying life, feeling and expressing gratitude, having moments of serenity, being curious and interested in the world, living with hope, being able to feel constructively proud, having the ability to have fun, finding sources of inspiration and maintain our sense of wonder.

All these elements of positivity are important to being able to “bloom” as a person, but there is one positive emotion that includes all of them: love.

a sum of emotions

Love is the sum of positive emotions, it integrates and empowers them. Researcher Barbara Fredrickson, one of the leading experts on the study of positivity, and author of Positive life (Ed. Norma), proposes that in a loving relationship –of any kind, not necessarily romantic– all the positive emotions can occur at different times.

For example, when we are attracted to someone we feel a great interest and curiosity to know said person; We will surely have a good time together, we will laugh, we will share moments of fun…

As the relationship consolidates, we will feel more joy, we will enjoy each other’s company and begin to share our dreams and hopes for the future. When the relationship is more solid, we will experience the feeling of relaxation and serenity that comes from the security of knowing that the other person loves us.

We will feel grateful for what it brings to our life, Their achievements will make us proud and their qualities can inspire us to be better people.

In his investigations, Barbara Fredrickson has verified that it is the positive emotion that people experience most frequently.. Also, he affirms that love is felt at times and that a relationship is an accumulation of moments in which we feel these positive emotions with a person.

Just as in electric current there are sometimes discharges that increase the voltage, in relationships there are “discharges” or surges of positive emotions that increase the voltage of pleasant and positive sensations between people.

The psychology and chemistry of love

Professor Christopher Peterson, one of the greatest exponents of positive psychology, affirms that this discipline can be described in one sentence: “Others are important”. And it is based on the evidence that the ability to love and be loved is very important for our well-being at all stages of life, from infancy to old age.

Love also changes the chemistry of our nervous system. Thus, when we have social contact, and especially when there is physical contact, we secrete a substance, oxytocin, which promotes the formation of bonds. Some call oxytocin the “cuddle hormone”: women produce it in greater amounts during childbirth and lactation, and interestingly, fathers’ oxytocin levels rise during their partners’ pregnancy and continue to rise as in which the man spends more time with his baby.

Parallel, oxytocin is associated with dopamine, a fundamental neurotransmitter in the regulation of pleasure. In addition, and through magnetic resonances that allow observing the brain, researchers Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki, from University College London, found that people who describe themselves as “very much in love” show different patterns of brain activity when looking at a photo of their loved one than when the photos are of other loved ones, friends or family members.

The vital need for affection

The examples of the chemical aspects of love do not mean that this is a purely biological phenomenon., but they do indicate that we have a biological predisposition to love. One of the best-known investigations in the history of psychology is Harlow’s famous monkey study.

In 1958, psychologist Harry F. Harlow tried to find out if babies develop a relationship with their mothers just because they need to be fedso he designed an experiment with little monkeys that he separated from their mothers and gave them access to two mannequins: a rigid wire “monkey” that had a bottle from which milk came out, and another plush “monkey” that did not give milk but it had a nice texture.

Surprisingly, the little monkeys preferred to be with the plush mannequin, that is to say, that the “warm” contact was as important as food. These studies paved the way for further research on the importance of relationships.

Currently, there is abundant evidence that friendships play a very important role in our lives, since having good friends –those who support us– is strongly related to life satisfaction and well-being, as well as a good relationship also has a lot to do with physical and emotional health.

George Vaillant, A psychiatrist and professor at Harvard University, he directs the longest investigation to date on adult development: following a generation of men and women over 70 years.

After carefully investigating dozens of factors that predict well-being of people in adulthood and old age, Vaillant emphasizes that, without a doubt, “relationships with others matter more than anything else in the world.” For example, those people who had had warm and strong relationships were more likely to have job success, good income, and good health.

George Vaillant dares to affirm that “happiness is equal to love. Spot”.